Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Dating Advice You Can Use from the Babe Magnet Rules

There's no shortage of dating advice on the Internet. How do I know this? I've created a Google alert that sends me links to new stories that contain the terms "dating advice."

Consequently, I get multiple links every day to stories that offer dating advice that ranges from Dating Over 50 tips to Dating After Divorce advice.

But the quality of the advice leaves much to be desired, so today I decided to go to a source that I trust--myself.  This advice comes from Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone.

Babe Magnet Rule #87

Be a gentleman. There are so few gentlemen left in the world these days, and being one is a great way to set yourself apart from all of the jerks that women have been dating.

The world doesn’t need any more a**holes. There are enough male jerks and narcissists in the world. Take a vow right now to be a gentleman. Treat women with the respect that they deserve. If it weren’t for women, men would have blown up Planet Earth a long time ago. So treat them with common courtesy (which, sadly, isn’t as common as it used to be).

  • When you tell a woman that you’re going to call her, then call her.

  • Hold the door open for her. Walk over to the passenger side of the car and open it for her. Then close it when she’s safely inside.

  • Pull the chair out for her when you’re getting seated in a restaurant.

  • Ask for her opinion and listen to the answer.

  • When you’ve had a wonderful time with her, thank her.

  • If you haven’t had a wonderful time with her and you don’t want to see her again, gently tell her that, too. Don’t make her wonder if she’ll hear from you during the next week or two. That’s torture.

  • Tell the truth.

  • If she’s cold, let her wear your jacket.

  • Treat her with respect. Treat her as you would like to be treated. Not only will you help make the world a better place, but you’ll get the Babe.

Now that, gentlemen, is dating advice that you can actually use. Although these tips might sound old-fashioned, behaving like a gentleman will increase your odds of getting the Babe you want.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

AARP Enters Online Dating Over 50 Marketplace

I read with great interest the recent announcement that AARP, the huge organization comprised of American senior citizens, has now officially entered the online dating over 50 world.

The organization has launched the AARP Dating website, which gives single adults over the age of 50 a place to meet—and hopefully connect and fall in love. Yep, AARP is getting into the online dating business.

“More and more 50-plus singles are using Internet dating sites, and we want to provide a comfortable environment for them to get out and take a chance on love again or go on fun dates,” said Myrna Blyth, editorial director of AARP’s media division.

Although it sounds like a logical move for AARP, to yours truly, Chad Stone the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, it’s a surprising announcement. In the past, AARP hasn’t paid much attention to single Americans who fall into the “dating over 50” demographic. Furthermore, AARP takes itself very seriously. I have sent several editors at AARP the Magazine copies of my humorous memoir, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet: One Man’s Brave Adventure into Dating Again in the 21st Century. They have ignored the book, probably because it’s too much fun and it doesn’t fit into the money-centric focus of the organization.

That’s too bad, because there are lots of AARP members who are dating over 50 years old—and they are probably as clueless as I was when I started my dating after divorce adventure. Those folks could benefit from the lessons I learned and the hard-won dating wisdom that I acquired about everything from online dating to how to have a great first date.

I wanted to learn more about the AARP’s Internet dating site, so I visited. My web browser redirected me to This site offers a “Full-service local junk removal” service. (I am not making this up. Really.) So the poor, unsuspecting over 50 singles who type in get the not-so-subtle message that they are not only over the hill, but they are junk to be hauled away.

Sorry, but that sounds like an episode of The Simpsons to me.

I re-read the AARP news release and discovered that AARP Dating was a “new dating content channel” on, so I went there. Sure enough, the dating link was right at the top of the site. (But the image of the “full-service local junk removal” service still lingered.)

The introductory story gave a short overview of the new dating over 50 service. Basically, it sounds a lot like You’re allowed to poke around for a while, but to communicate with another member you need to sign up for a subscription. It’s $17.50 for one month for AARP members or $53.94 for one year for AARP members. If you’re an AARP member, you can also get a seven-day free trial.

I’ll post a more extensive review of the site in the future. But for now, let me officially welcome AARP into online dating. I hope they don’t try to be so serious about AARP Dating that they totally mess it up. After all, looking for the love of your life—no matter how young or old you are—should be fun!

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Holiday Dating Survival Guide

The Holiday Season is the most wonderful time of the year. But maybe not so much if you’re single and your mom, Aunt Gertrude, best friend, and maybe even (if you’re single again for the second or third time) your kids are bugging you about still being single.

“Have you found anyone nice?” they all ask.

So what do you say in response?

Here’s my Holiday Dating Survival Guide, which offers some great holiday dating tips that will get you through the holiday season with a smile on your face—and maybe even a new sweetheart in your life.

Stay Positive
Singlehood is not a disease. You are not afflicted with a contagious virus, so don’t beat yourself up over being single during the holidays. Don’t think of being single as a misfortune. Don’t let anyone bring your mood down.

Say Yes to Holiday Parties
Even if it’s probably going to be primarily a couples event, put on your best smile and your festive holiday clothes and go to the party. Go simply for the adventure of it. Decide in advance that you’re going to have fun. You never know, there might be a great single man or woman there for you to meet. If so, and you’re outnumbered by couples, you might find yourself bonding over your singleness.

Deflect and Distract
When someone nosy asks about your love life, deflect and distract. If you don’t want to talk about yourself, just say something like, “There’s no news on that topic yet, but stay tuned to CNN for further developments.” Then launch into a summary of your latest accomplishments at work, or ask a question about them.

Be Open to Meeting Someone Special
Because there are so many parties and social events during the holidays, it’s a good time to meet someone. In fact, this is a great time of year to meet a new love. There is romance in the air and mistletoe hanging everywhere. Take advantage of it, and strike up a conversation with that cute guy or that adorable babe over there. But use your best manners, because the holiday season is an old-fashioned, old-school time of year.

Leave the Cheesy Pickup Lines at Home
The best ice-breakers are light-hearted and spontaneous. Talk about your favorite-- or least favorite-- Christmas songs. Compliment a person on her holiday dress or his holiday sweater. You could even say, “Hey, it looks like we’re, the only singles here, so the rule is we have to talk to each other. My name’s Chad, what’s yours?” Almost anything said with a genuine smile can be a great opening line.

Invite Someone to a Holiday Party
A holiday party offers a great opportunity to get to know someone better. If you’re dating someone now but you haven’t yet crossed over into full couplehood, a holiday party can be a great bonding experience for the two of you. Tell your date ahead of time who is going to be at the party and what kinds of things they might talk about. If it’s a family event, warn her (or him) about the family members who are likely to ask the most intrusive questions. You might even want to establish a “rescue sign” that you can flash from across the room if your date needs you to rush over and be her knight in shining armor.

Use Your Very Best Manners
 The Holiday Season is the best time of year to dress up nice, say please and thank you, and use your very best old-fashioned manners. You almost can’t be too polite—even if it borders on corniness. We all get a little mushy and nostalgic during this time of year, so remember to arrive bearing gifts for the host/hostess and genuine compliments for everyone!

There’s more dating advice and tips at If you have any single people on your holiday gift list, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by yours truly, Chad Stone, makes a great gift! Clickhere to buy it.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

The Worst Pickup Lines Ever

Do pickup lines really work?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
The key is in the delivery.
 I’ve been having fun looking for the worst pickup lines ever. You know how guys are always looking for the magic words that will open a woman’s heart—or at least get her to talk to him?

Well, there are some bad lines out there. I’m talking about really bad lines.

Groaners. Lines that are downright embarrassing. Lines that no human being should utter.


How bad? Well, check out the pickup lines below.

The Best of the Bad Pickup Lines

(In other words, these are really bad.)

Is this your first time on this planet?

I know you’re a complete stranger, but I’d gladly waste one of my Spotify invitations on you. Give me your number and I’ll throw in a Google+ invite. I’d put you in my ‘Babe’ Circle.

As of now, my mother doesn’t have a Facebook account so, if we were to take this thing to the next level, you wouldn’t have to worry about rejecting her inappropriate Family Request.

You must be low density lipoprotein cholesterol because you just stopped my heart.

Does your skin feel burnt? Because I think you must have just fallen down from heaven, and the friction during re-entry must have been really high.
Should I call you for breakfast or just nudge you?

'Are you from Jamaica? Because Jamaican me crazy.

Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.

Can I borrow a quarter? My mom told me to call home when I fell in love.

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.

You're like a compass: without you, I'd be lost.

Are your pants made of Windex? Cause, baby, I can see myself in them.

I hope you know CPR, baby, cause when you walked into the room, my heart stopped beating.

I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.

Am I dead? Because I think I just met an angel.

I'd appreciate it if you started treating me like a sex object.

Are you a Kleptomaniac? Because you just stole my heart.

Bad Pickup Lines That Might Actually Work

Hi. My name is Windows. Can I crash at your place?

How about we slip into something more comfortable... like some Star Trek Voyager pajamas at my apartment!

I wish I was your math homework because then I'd be hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.

Haven't we met in World of Warcraft?

Hi. Is your name Google? Because you have everything that I am searching for.

No matter how many times I travel back in time to this moment I always get nervous about talking to you

I'd bet you dinner that you won't go to dinner with me.

I'm an organ donor. Need anything?

Thanks to the users of for most of these horrible pickup lines! If you’d like to read more about pickup lines—and why they sometimes work and sometime don’t—get a copy of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone. You can also visit my website at

Sunday, November 11, 2012

The Best and Worst Pickup Lines Ever (Part 1)

Single people have a fascination with pickup lines. Men are on a constant search for the best pickup line, and women are always comparing notes with other women to laugh about the worst pickup lines they've ever heard.

So I thought it was time to find out from you--and all of your single friends--if there is such a thing as THE BEST PICKUP LINE EVER. And, while we're at it, let's also find out what's THE WORST PICKUP LINE EVER.

Here in America, we love to vote. We just voted for president. That's important, for sure. But now it's time to focus that election furvor on something even more controversial than voting for president. Now it's time to vote for pickup lines. And I invite the rest of the world to join in. This vote goes beyond the imaginary lines that separate countries. This is so important that we will exclude no one. If you live anywhere on Planet Earth, you are eligible to vote in this election.

(Cue the uplifting music)

Pickup lines are a time-tested tradition in the world of men meeting women. For thousands of years, single men have been walking up to single women that they do not know and saying the magic words that might capture the favorable attention of the women.

For the first time in history, through the power of the Internet, now we can take a worldwide poll on the World Wide Web and find out, once and for all, which is The Best Pickup Line Ever and which is The Worst Pickup Line Ever.

In ROUND ONE, please vote for your favorite line and your least favorite line. Here they are:

1. Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out.

2. Hi. My name is Windows. Can I crash at your place?

3. A girl as beautiful as you shouldn't go out alone. Let me take you home.

4. If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harrass you.

To vote, simply submit a comment stating your Favorite line from the list above and your Least Favorite. Feel free to tell why you voted as you did, and feel free to submit a good or bad pickup line as a candidate for a future round of voting.


May the pickup lines be with you.

Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. Please Like the book on Facebook.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Has Online Dating Gone Too Far?

Have you noticed how comfortable people are with the online world? Communicating with friends via text and Facebook, and with potential dates via online dating sites (such as,,, etc.) now feels completely natural.

But maybe the whole online communication thing has gone too far. A recent study by the Performics marketing firm found that 40% of Americans said they felt more comfortable communicating with people online (or via a device) than in person. Almost half—49%--would rather text than call, and 30% would rather connect with their closest friends by using Facebook and other social media sites than by calling or talking in person.

Online Dating Advice
WTF?—as I might respond in a text. We’ve become a nation of people who are more comfortable gazing at a tiny video screen and punching in a message with our thumbs than engrossed in a friendly, face-to-face conversation.

Another survey by Forrester says that 38% of online adults in the USA can be defined as “always accessible.” You can always reach them online or via their mobile phone! In addition, a large percentage of those who are not always accessible are so connected that they access the internet multiple times per day from multiple locations.

What’s going on here? Have we forgotten how to talk to each other? The short answer is: Yes. So if I were to summarize all of this in a piece of online dating advice, I would say this: give all of those electronic devices a rest.

Be Smarter than Your Phone
Now let me say that I am not anti-technology. I love my smart phone. I’m not sure how I could live without it. I love to use it to check sports scores and emails. And I  love using it as a phone—you know, to actually talk to someone. Sending emails and text messages and Facebook posts is a fine way to send little bits of information and send cute pictures of cats. But when you really want to communicate, you need to talk to the other person.

Am I sounding old-fashioned here? Maybe. Probably. But I’m right about this, dammit. Anyone who has read my book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, is not going to be surprised to hear me say this. I’ve even got a Babe Magnet Rule about this. (You can look it up.)

Four Things You Should Never Do by Text
I feel strongly about this, so I’ve put together a short list of expert dating advice about using texts, emails and other electronic media. Here are four things you, as a single person in the dating world, should never do via text:

1. Ask someone out on a date. Men, don’t be a weenie. Call the woman up and talk with her and make her feel desirable. She will love you for it.

2. Cancel a date. Any kind of date—one that resulted from an online dating site or one that was the result of meeting someone in person. This is good advice for both men and women. If you need to cancel, make a phone call. Using a text message to cancel is the easy way out. Talking directly with the person shows the strength of your character.

3. Saying anything important. Can you imagine a world in which a man tells a woman “I Love You” for the first time via text? God, I hope not.

4. Breaking up. I have been on the receiving end of breakup emails. I know people who have sent and received breakup text messages. I think this is a chickensh*t thing to do. Sure, it’s easier. But man-up and give the woman a call. Show a little courage and integrity.

I am sure there are hundreds of other instances when talking to someone is better than sending a short, cold, impersonal text message. Please comment on this post with one kind of communication you think should NEVER be done via a text message.

Remember why they call that device in your pocket or purse a cell phone. It was designed to be used for talking to other people. Give the text function a rest and make a phone call. Better still, use the phone call to set up a face-to-face meeting. 

That’s what a date is, people. Face-to-face and in person. That’s when the chemistry happens. Chemistry NEVER EVER happens during a text message. Think about that the next time you’re about to send a text.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Author Chad Stone Talks About and Signs His New Dating Memoir

Book Talk and Signing

I am happy to be talking about Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet and signing books tomorrow in Albuquerque. I have been invited to appear at one of the best independent bookstores in the West, Page One Bookstore, to give a talk and sign copies of my book.

I will start by reading a few passages from the book, which is a good way to introduce the story and my unique perspective on dating and finding love. Then I will open it up to questions so people can learn more about my experiences and whether the book has a happy ending.

Dating After Divorce

One of the questions I'm sure that will be asked is, "Why did you write a book about daving after divorce?" One of the reasons I wrote Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet was because there weren't any books written from the male perspective that dealt with both the highs and lows of the single life. No one had told the story about what it's like to be a single man in the 21st century who is looking for the last love of his life.

I wanted to write a book that talked honestly about these things:

-- What do men want?
-- What do women want?
-- Do men and women want basically the same things?
-- What is it like in the "Dating Over 50" world?
-- Can you find true love at any ages?
-- Sex and the single adult
-- Tips for online dating
-- What skills are necessary to win and woo a woman
-- What are men thinking-- really?

To help promote my book signing event, I appeared on the Good Day New Mexico TV show on Friday. You can watch the clip here: Chad Stone on TV

So if you can make it to Page One Bookstore on Sunday, Oct. 28 at 2:30 pm, please come by!

Author Chad Stone talks about his book about dating, "Confessions of a Middle Aged Babe Magnet"

Chad Stone
Book signing and discussion
"Confessions of a Middle Aged Babe Magnet"
October 28 at 2:30 p.m.

Page One Bookstore
11018 Montgomery Blvd NE
Albuquerque, NM

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

A Healthy Woman is a Happy Woman

A healthy relationship is based on a lot of different factors. One of the factors that tends to get overlooked is physical health. It’s very difficult to have a truly healthy relationship if you’re not physically healthy. If you feel like crap, your relationship is bound to suffer.

So, in the interest of good health, I want to pass along some great tips from a recent story in Parade magazine by Kalee Thompson. Ms. Thompson’s “Stay Healthy” story features a quiz about women’s health. So ladies, this info is right on target for you. And guys, take the advice that applies to both genders, and pass along the other tips to a woman you love. Here goes:

What Makes A Healthy Woman
Question #1: What’s the best thing you can do to improve your health?

a. Eat only organic veggies and fruits
b. Play a sport that you love
c. Stop paying attention to politics and anyone running for political office
d. Have more sex

The answer is b. Regular exercise is good for your body and mind in so many ways. It reduces the risk of diabetes and heart disease. It strengthens your muscles and bones. It reduces stress. Personally, I think having sex counts as playing a sport you love. But that’s just my opinion—I’m not a scientist.

Question #2: A woman’s happiness in a relationship is most closely correlated to:

a. How often her partner gives her compliments
b. How often her partner prepares dinner
c. How well her partner can sense if she is upset
d. How often she has sex with her partner

The answer is c. A man contributes greatly to a woman’s happiness when he is in tune with her moods. That doesn’t mean he takes a quick read of her mood, and sensing that she is stormy with a chance of rain, finds a reason to go to the sports bar to watch a game—any game. No, gentlemen, let her talk and keep your mouth shut. She needs to vent. And ladies, here’s a tip for you. A man is much more likely to feel satisfied in his relationship if his woman tells him when she’s happy. I’ve said this before, and I’ll keep saying it: a man wants a woman he can please. He needs to know when his romantic partner is happy and content. He lives for that.

Question #3: Name the fruit that has been shown to keep a woman’s brain young.

a. Berries
b. Apples
c. Kiwi
d. That guy from the Bravo channel

The answer is a. The really smart men and women at Harvard University researched this topic with a test group of 16,000 subjects. They found that strawberries and blueberries made women’s brains 2.5 years younger than those of non-berry eaters and viewers of the Bravo network.

What Makes a Woman Happy

Here’s another factoid that could win you a bet or two. Chocoholics actually weigh less than women who rarely eat chocolate. Why? Perhaps chocolate turns up your metabolism. Or it could just be that the researchers “fudged” the results. Get it? Ha! Fudged the results.

Sometimes I crack myself up. Hey—know what else improves a woman’s health (and a man’s, too)? Laughter! You can look it up.

This is Chad Stone, Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, leaving the building before he wears out his welcome.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Best Dating and Relationship Advice Ever

There’s a lot of wisdom on the Internet, if you know where to find it. Whenever I find a great piece of advice about finding love or how to have a great relationship, I try to pass it along.

Here’s a round-up of great dating and relationship advice that I am delighted to share with you. This might even be the best dating advice ever!

The Best Dating Advice from Mom
My mother says nothing good happens after 11 p.m. That was a good one. If he’s calling you for an 11:15 p.m. booty call, or telling you “I have dinner with my clients … won’t be back till 11:45,” — no, not happening. Also, always leave him wanting more.

  --Patti Stanger, “The Millionaire Matchmaker”

Tell People You’re Single
“A lot of times, people don’t know that you want to be set up,” said Amy Laurent, a dating expert. “If you’re really going to do this (being successful at finding love), bring it up to people and say, ‘I’m ready to put myself out there and start dating.’” Get the word out and make it official, she advises. “You never know where opportunities are going to come up.”
  --Amy Laurent, author of 8 Weeks to Everlasting: How to Get (and Keep) the Guy You Want

Five Things to Remember About Dating
1. It’s supposed to be fun! Just relax and enjoy! Stay present and enjoy your date’s company.
2. It’s not about your date’s inadequacies, it’s about what you have in common
3. Cut your date some slack. Nobody’s perfect, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have something to offer.
 4. Dating should be easy. It you’re with someone that it doesn’t flow with, it’s probably not the right person.

5. The more open you are, the more possibilities, choices and options await you.

Advice for Women: Compliment Him
“If a woman says that her dish is, for example, too salty, she will think nothing of talking negatively about the food, or even extend the conversation about why the kitchen staff is not more careful in their use of spices. If it were two women sharing an evening out, complaining about the food or service is perfectly fine, because talking about problems is a bonding experience on Venus.  However on Mars, men tie their egos to the choices they make. This is never truer than in the case of a restaurant that they have chosen. Now if on the other hand, a woman says, “Wow this place is a real find! I love the way they do their chicken….” In a man’s mind, he’s scored major points. It’s as if he went into the kitchen and cooked that meal himself.”

  -- John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Advice for Men: Cultivate Your Confidence
“When I am asked, ‘What is the single most important tip for men when they want to meet the woman of their dreams?’ I always quote my own Babe Magnet Rule #14: Babe Magnets are confident and sure of themselves. Even if they have to fake it. That doesn’t mean a man should be conceited and all full of himself. But women are attracted to a man who has quiet confidence and is comfortable in his own skin.”

-- Chad Stone, author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet,

What Love Is
Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.”
  -- Source Unknown

Take Your Breath Away
“In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.”
 -- Shing Xiong

Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, available from
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Sunday, September 16, 2012

How to Attract Any Woman

Let’s take a little poll right now. Raise your hands if you’re single, and you’d love to attract the perfect man or woman into your life.

That’s a lot of hands, and that’s exactly what I expected to see. If you’re single, and you haven’t totally given up on the whole dating thing (or even the belief that “I know he/she is out there, and I know we’ll meet each other when the time is right”), then you are one of those people who would be delighted to welcome a perfect lover into your life.

Which brings me to today’s topic. I’m on a lot of email lists to receive information about dating and relationships, because as an author of a book on dating, I want to see what’s being said on the topic. I recently received an email that promises to make any man an irresistible sexual animal. It begins:


What if you could SAY and DO a few simple things to automatically, helplessly, irresistibly bring out the "SEXUAL ANIMAL" in ANY WOMAN YOU WANTED?

Well, get this:

You CAN--and once you know how to do it, you can take ANY woman from "just friends" to "take me home now" in a HEARTBEAT!!!

FACT IS, learn the simple secrets of what I call "Power Sexuality," and the women you dream about will start FANTASIZING ABOUT *YOU*!

Learn how to "turn on" your "Power Sexuality" right here:

Ha! I added the link to my own website to see if you were paying attention. But the rest of the quote above has not been changed at all.

This “one solution fits all” approach to dating is NOT what I’m about, even though I do offer 92 Babe Magnet Rules throughout the pages of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. What I do believe is that there are many basic things that work for the majority of single men and women, but I would never tell you that there’s ONE MAGIC THING THAT WILL MAKE A WOMAN WANT YOU RIGHT NOW.

But lots of folks are looking for the easy solutions—whether it’s the one perfect thing to say or the one perfect thing to wear or the one perfect rule to follow.

The truth is, the key to dating success—whether you are a man or a woman, is to be yourself. And by that I mean, be the very best version of you that you can be. Guys, sometimes that means getting rid of all those grunge-rock flannels in your wardrobe. (Why? Because women love it when you look like you care about your appearance.)

Women, sometimes that means smiling more and wearing something besides your favorite sweats. (Why? Because men love it when you care enough about your appearance to look your best.)

Now, I’m sure that there’s some value in almost every dating advice book or dating advice package that’s out there. But please don’t think there’s one golden answer or one magic system that will suddenly take you from dweeb to Brad Pitt.

Besides, there’s already one Brad Pitt in the world. What the world really needs is exactly what the very best version of you has to offer.

This is Chad Stone, signing off for now.


Sunday, September 9, 2012

I Love You, My Little Snookums

Do you have a pet name for your girlfriend? Does your boyfriend have a pet name for you?

If so, you’ve arrived in the Snookums Zone. That’s right, my little CooCoo Butt, Cutie Pie, Honeybunch, Babycakes.

Pet names are as common in relationships as gross-out jokes in Bridesmaids 2. (The movie isn’t out yet, but you can trust me on this, Sweetie.)

But why? Why do we seem to naturally invent cutesy monikers for that special someone in our lives? Pat Love, author of several relationship books including How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It, says pet names create a kind of a boundary around a relationship.

“It’s a way to identify the relationship as exclusive,” says Love. “It’s like an auditory marker.” In other words, when those around you overhear your lovey-dovey conversation, they know you’re committed to each other. (Check out Pat Love’s website here.)

That’s actually pretty cool. The very fact that you have cutesy pet names for each other means that you are in a Relationship, with a capital R. If you’re calling your girlfriend or boyfriend by a pet name, then you better have already pulled your profile from, let me tell you, Cupcake.

Are there actual benefits derived from using silly, personalized names for our lovers? Apparently, yes. One study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships reported that the more goofy pet names, made-up terms, and covert requests for sexual favors a couple used, the higher their relationship satisfaction tended to be. (Wouldn’t you love to get paid to do a study like that?)

But please, PLEASE, don’t overdue the whole Snookums stuff in front of other people. Pet names are cute to a couple who uses them for each other, but they are so sugary sweet to any other human being that they cause instant diabetic shock and a gagging reflex. (Have you ever noticed how many pet names are variations on sweet things? We’re talking about everything from honey and muffin to sugar and sweet cheeks. It turns out that we humans must really love really sweet foods, and that carries over into the sweet names we give our Cutie Patooties.)

Did you hear what I said, Punkin’ Pie? You’re just so darn cute when you space out and don’t listen to me, aren’t you, my little Goober Lips?

By the way, if you don’t already have a cute pet name for your honey, then check out Pet Name Generator at

This is Chad Stone, the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, signing off. And no, I won’t tell you the pet name that my wife calls me.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Behind the Scenes of a TV Appearance

Chad Stone on the set of "You & Me This Morning" with hosts Melissa Forman (left) and Jeanne Sparrow (right).
 It’s 6:15 a.m. in Chicago and I am getting into a cab. “I need to go to the WCIU-TV studios on North Halsted,” I tell the driver. I feel a tiny bit like Matt Lauer, heading for his job at the Today Show—except that Matt has his own private driver and he leaves even earlier in the morning. And I am Chad Stone, who is not anywhere close to Matt Lauer’s pay grade.

But hey, I’m headed to my first TV interview to talk about Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, and I’m excited and a little nervous.

The taxi driver drops me off in front of a nondescript office building and a producer escorts me into the studio. Holy Live TV, the hosts of “You & Me This Morning” are sitting on a couch chatting about something silly with thousands of viewers in Chicagoland sharing their every word. Melissa Forman and Jeanne Sparrow sit on the brightly lit set, pretending to be two best friends talking and hanging out over bagels and coffee.

What, exactly, is the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet doing here? I’m drinking bottled water and reviewing the notes I wrote for my interview. I need to make sure I’ll remember what I planned to say about how dating is like the Olympics and how a middle-aged guy like me became a self-proclaimed Babe Magnet.

A tiny microphone is clipped to my lapel. Then the producer takes me to the “Green Room” to go over my segment. I will be interviewed by the blonde TV host (Melissa Forman) while we sit at the “kitchen table” part of the set. Sounds great—just make sure I don’t look like a doofus, OK?

Back in the studio, the director sits me in a chair on the set and hands me a copy of my own book. During the “tease” for my upcoming segment, I sit under the hot lights and pretend to read my book while laughing and smiling like I’ve never seen the book before. It’s weird, but it’s TV—not real life.

During the commercial break I am escorted to my chair at the table. Melissa sits down, smiling, and introduces herself. The red light on the camera goes on, and Melissa introduces me by saying something like, “If you ever wondered what a babe magnet looks like, now you know.”

“No one ever mistook me for Brad Pitt,” I quip. “So if I can become a Babe Magnet, then anyone can become a Babe Magnet.” And that’s pretty much the point of the book. You can learn to be a good date. You can learn to be charming and a great conversationalist. You can learn what women want in a man (and if you’re a woman, you can learn what men want in a woman). This isn’t rocket science, folks. You just have to pay attention and be willing to learn.

Melissa the TV Host is clearly enjoying herself as she asks me about myself and how I came to write Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. Then we go through some of the Olympic Dating Styles that I coined to describe how some singles act like dating is a major sporting event. (See the earlier Olympics post on this blog.)

My mouth is getting drier with each passing moment. It’s hard to look relaxed and natural while trying to be charming and funny on TV. Perhaps that’s why Matt Lauer, Oprah Winfrey and the other professionals get paid so much money. Fortunately, the interview ends before I completely lose the ability to form words with my cotton mouth.

The TV cameras are off, and Melissa the TV Host is flipping through my book, laughing. “Don’t switch Babes in mid stream!” she reads. “This is hilarious!” It’s too bad she didn’t read the book before our interview. Oh well.

Then I am out on the street, left to find myself a cab back to the hotel. TV is done with me—for now.

Perhaps I should call Oprah or Ellen. What do you think?

By the way, here's the link to my TV interview: Chad Stone on WCIU-TV

Sunday, August 19, 2012

The Lighter Side of Marriage

Why do single men and women spend so much of their waking thoughts, time and energy to find a special someone? I believe that humans are hard-wired to seek out romantic relationships. We crave the intimacy and the partnership, and the chance to bond, change and grow together.

Traditionally, the goal of a romantic partnership has been marriage, and for millions of singles and couples that’s still the goal. Marriage is one of society’s most respected institutions, but it also presents some of the most challenging experiences any of us will ever face. Perhaps that’s why a healthy, happy and successful marriage is celebrated by husband, wife, family and friends.

Today, more than ever, a sense of humor is an important component of a healthy and happy marriage. So I share with you these quotes about marriage (many of which apply just as well to any romantic partnership.) I hope you receive them in the spirit of joy, love, hope and laughter with which they are intended.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it. -- Unknown

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. -- Rita Rudner

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. -- Judith Viorst

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. -- Bill Cosby

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. -- Benjamin Franklin

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. -- Michel de Montaigne

Why does a woman work 10 years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? -- Barbra Streisand

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. -- Mignon McLaughlin

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.-- Adela Rogers St. John

No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not.-- H. L. Mencken

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food..... She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. -- Henny Youngman

We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It's called love. -- Gene Perret

This is Chad Stone, author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, signing off.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

When It’s Time to Say Goodbye

Relationships are wonderful. Right? Isn’t that why we all love to be paired up with someone special? Isn’t that why millions of us who aren’t in relationships spend billions of dollars on online dating services like and other matchmaking services? Isn’t that why we agonize about the relationships we’re in when things aren’t going well?

The short answer is “Yes.”

But unfortunately, sometimes relationships run their course. Some romantic relationships aren’t built to last. Or maybe they could have lasted, but we choose to give up on them instead.

So, when is the right time to end a relationship?

That’s what Mitchelon Humperdickfrankenfurter (not his real name) recently asked himself. He had been seeing Jennifer Lopez (the singer, but not the famous one) for nearly a year. Their lives had become comfortably enmeshed. They spent weekends together. They saw each other during the week. They had meet each others’ kids and parents. They were a couple.

In the past week, they became uncoupled. It was Mitch who decided it was time. He and Jenn had gone to Barbados together for 10 days in the tropics. But the trip was not all bliss, and it was clear to Mitch that his relationship with Jenn was stuck.

When I asked Mitch why he decided to have the dreaded “breakup talk” with Jenn, he said it was all about passion. He wasn’t feeling the heat, the passion in the relationship that he wanted. Sure, Jenn was nice, level-headed and dependable—but there weren’t any sparks in their relationship.

What Mitch also admitted was that there weren’t many sparks in the relationship even in the beginning—when you expect them the most. Mitch was hoping that the chemistry between them would erupt into flames over time, but that never happened.

When they got back from their vacation, he broke the news gently to Jenn. It turns out, she was feeling the same way. She wasn’t feeling any sparks for Mitch, either. So the good news was, the feelings (or lack thereof) were mutual. They collected their respective possessions from their respective houses, and they split as amicably as possible.

When is the right time to end a relationship? For Mitch and Jenn, it was when their hearts told them that they wanted more. They wanted more passion, and they were no longer to settle for anything less.

I wish them both nothing but the best, and I hope they both find lots of passion in their next relationships.

-- Chad Stone
----- For more thoughts on relationships and breakups, read my book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. And check out my web page at

Sunday, July 29, 2012

How to Win Gold ("Approved" Version)

It has come to my attention that the Olympic Committee is very protective of its copyrights, trademarks, sponsorship deals, etc. The Olympic Committee owns full rights to the words "Olympics," "Olympic Games," "olympian" and other variations. When you use any of those words in a non-approved, commercial context and you aren't McDonald's or Coca-Cola or another sponsor that has paid zillions of dollars to be associated with The Games, the Olympic Committee threatens to sue you.

Really. Even if you were to use a line such as "How to Win Gold in the Dating Olympics." Oh crap, that's the headline of my last blog post, isn't it?

OK. In an effort to show the Olympic Committee that I am not blantantly and knowingly using their trademarks for my own personal gain, I present this revised, "approved" version of my previous post.

Here goes:

How to “Win Gold” in the Ultimate Sport: Looking for Love

Santa Fe, NM— After the medals have been awarded in London, another kind of sporting event will dominate the thoughts of 99.6 million single American adults—Looking for Love

Chad Stone, author of a humorous guide to dating called Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet (available at and, says there are many similarities between the sporting world games and modern dating.

“For many single adults, looking for love is a major event,” says Stone. “Men and women train for their dates as if they were competing in world-class sporting events, and many singles aren’t happy until they have won the equivalent of a gold medal in dating.”

According to Stone, there are seven sporting/dating styles used while Looking for Love:

Marathon Dater—A Marathon Dater goes on lots of dates. This is the “kiss a lot of frogs” approach to finding love. Sometimes, out of sheer persistence, this approach works. But sometimes Marathon Daters “hit the wall” and settle for a life of singleness.

The Sprinter—The Sprinter can’t stand to NOT have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Before his cell phone cools from the last breakup call, he is dashing off to find a replacement. When a female Sprinter finds someone she likes, she can’t wait to “cross the finish line.” We used to call a woman like this “easy.” Now we say she is behaving like a man.
Gold Medal Perfectionist—This type is great at first and second dates but never seems to find true love because he or she is holding out for the perfect partner. A Gold Medal Perfectionist is so picky that no mere mortal is ever good enough, so why bother with a third date?
The Coach—These know-it-alls freely share their vast knowledge of the opposite sex with anyone who will listen. But Coaches never take their own advice, and they rarely go out on successful dates.
Perpetual Training Mode—A female in Perpetual Training Mode faithfully reads several dating blogs and always looks great—because you know how important first impressions are. A male in Perpetual Training Mode goes to the gym a lot to work on his biceps. But all of this prep time leaves precious little time for actual dating.
Individual Medley Dater—Just like the swimmers who do four different strokes during a single race, Individual Medley Daters aren’t content to date just one person at a time. It may be fun for a while, but ultimately this type of dater gets himself into trouble when he gets the names of his dates mixed up.
Confident Competitor—The true champion in the Looking for Love competition combines the best qualities of several dating styles. Like the Gold Medal Perfectionists, they are looking for quality—but not perfection. They know that sometimes dating requires persistence. Confident Competitors finish the race at their own pace and ultimately find the man or woman of their dreams.

NOTE: I hope that the term "Win Gold" isn't also owned by the Olympic Committee. I guess if they do own it, I'll hear from their lawyers. :-(

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

How to “Win Gold” in the Dating Olympics

After the medals have been awarded at the Olympic Games in London, another kind of Olympics will once again dominate the thoughts of millions of people. This is the “Dating Olympics,” which consumes the hearts and minds of 99.6 million unmarried adults in America.

Chad Stone, author of a humorous guide to dating called Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet (, says there are many similarities between the Olympic Games and modern dating.

“For many single adults, dating is an Olympic sport,” says Stone. “Many men and women train for their dates as if they were competing in a world-class sporting event, and many singles aren’t happy until they have won the equivalent of a gold medal in dating.”

According to Stone, there are eight dating styles in the Dating Olympics:

Marathon Dater—Just as a marathon runner logs a lot of miles, the Marathon Dater goes on lots of dates. These dates are spread across many years, leaving the Marathon Dater exhausted. This is the “kiss a lot of frogs” approach to finding love. Sometimes, out of sheer persistence, this approach works. But sometimes Marathon Daters “hit the wall” and settle for a life of singleness.

The Sprinter—The Sprinter can’t stand to NOT have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Before his cell phone cools from the last breakup call, he is dashing off to find a replacement. When a female Sprinter finds someone she likes, she can’t wait to “cross the finish line.” We used to call women like this “easy.” Now we say she is behaving like a man.

Gold Medal Perfectionist—Have you ever known someone who is great at first and second dates, but never seems to find true love? Gold Medal Perfectionists hold out for that Perfect 10 that is sometimes (very rarely) achieved during an Olympic event, but almost never happens in real life. A Gold Medal Perfectionist is so picky that no mere mortal is ever good enough, so why bother with a third date?

The Coach—These know-it-alls freely share their vast knowledge of the opposite sex with anyone who will listen. They give great pep talks to friends who have just returned from a horrible date. They give free advice about relationships and what  their friends did wrong on their dates. But somehow these Coaches never take their own advice, and they rarely go out on successful dates.

Perpetual Training Mode—These singles seem to always be preparing for getting back into the dating game. A female in Perpetual Training Mode reads several dating blogs, always looks great and is probably addicted to mani-pedis, because you know how important first impressions are. A male in Perpetual Training Mode goes to the gym a lot to work on his biceps. (Your biceps can never be too big.) But all of this prep time leaves precious little time for actual dating.

Out-of-the-Medals—This type is the polar opposite of the Gold Medal Perfectionist. He or she isn’t nearly picky enough. Why wait for a Gold Medalist when you can go out with someone who didn’t make the Olympic team, but has a really cool Olympics souvenir t-shirt? Unfortunately, people who settle for anyone with a pulse quickly get bored with these losers. But when your standards are this low, at least you can always find someone to go out with.

Individual Medley Dater—Just like the swimmers who do four different strokes during a single race, Individual Medley Daters aren’t content to date just one person at a time. It may be fun for a while, but ultimately this type of dater gets himself into trouble when he gets the names of his dates mixed up.

Confident Competitor—The true champion in the dating arena combines the best qualities of the other Olympic dating styles. Like the Gold Medal Perfectionists, they are looking for quality—but they know that perfection is for fairy tales, not for real life. Confident Competitors are their own best coaches, but they aren’t afraid to put themselves in the game. Like Marathon Daters, they know that sometimes you need persistence to keep dating in order to find someone worthy of a commitment. The Confident Competitors don’t panic and don’t pull muscles from trying too hard. They finish the race at their own pace, and by knowing what they want and not settling for an also-ran, they find the man or woman of their dreams.

Chad Stone’s humorous guide to dating, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, contains lots of additional advice and observations about dating and relationships in the 21st century. Chad Stone uses his post-divorce experiences to illustrate a series of “Babe Magnet Rules” that provide insightful advice on how to find, woo and win a modern woman. For women, the book offers a rare, uncensored look into the mind of a single man.

Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone is available from as a trade paperback and an eBook from More information is available at

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Is Your Dog Helping Your Love Life?

This is NOT a manly man dog.

Now you have a new excuse if your love life stinks: Blame your dog.

Smart men have known for a long time that dogs can be babe magnets. The right dog, at the right place and time (such as at a park on a sunny Saturday afternoon) can be the perfect conversation starter between a single man and a single woman.

But what kind of dog is best? And what kind of dog is a buzz-kill for your love life?

Kloof, a new iPhone app for pet lovers, conducted a study of which breeds of dog might be the best babe magnet or man magnet for its owner. I’m sure we are all dying to find out the results of the survey, right?

There’s good news for women who own golden retrievers. That was the breed selected in this unscientific survey to be the number one breed to attract men. And those men are most likely to view women with golden retrievers as “girlfriend material.” Rounding out the Top Five “man magnet” dogs were Labrador retrievers, Chihuahuas, poodles and beagles.

I understand the logic of golden retrievers and labradors being man magnets. After all, those are dogs that appeal to manly men. Those are real dogs—dogs that like to chase things and bring them back to you; dogs that are way too big to sit comfortably in your lap or ride around in a pink purse. But I don’t know why Chihuahuas, poodles and beagles are man magnets. Chihuahuas and poodles are girly dogs, and beagles are the dumbest breed of dog on the planet. A beagle is dumber that a box of oatmeal.

In the babe magnet category, these breeds of dogs were ranked by women as those that would make them think most highly of the men that owned them: German shepherds, golden retrievers, Labrador retrievers, Siberian huskies and French bulldogs. According to the survey, men with German shepherds and retrievers are seen as “great dad” material, and men who own a Siberian husky are “manly.”

There are some dog breeds that transfer a negative connotation to their owners. Men say that women with a poodle or Chihuahua are likely to be “high maintenance.” And women say that men who own bulldogs, boxers and rottweilers are, shall we say, not the sharpest tools in the shed.

How does this “Dog Theory of Sexiness” actually play in the real world? Well, I have never in my life owned a “manly” dog, but I did own a girlie-man poodle when I met the lovely woman who has since become my lovely wife. Fortunately (especially for me), owning a girlie-man dog was not a deal-breaker for her. She was able to look past my poodle and see the manly man within me.

But, if you’re a guy with a poodle or other non-manly dog, now you have a great excuse if you aren’t happy with your love life. But then you’ll have to deal with the guilt trip that your dog lays on you.

Chad Stone
Author, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet
(available on

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Why don’t women understand men?

Why don’t women understand men? Is it because men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, as author John Gray says?

Well, sort of.

Men and women ARE hardwired differently, so men behave like men, and women behave like women. And one dramatic difference in this hardwiring is that women seem to be a lot more interested in understanding men than men are in understanding women.

Why do I say this? I got myself on an email list that offers a steady stream of dating advice for women. Along with that is a steady stream of free advice is a steady stream of offers to buy “foolproof” guides that contain magical secrets to finding men, getting them to fall in love with you and getting them to commit to you forever and ever, amen.

Here are just some of the phrases that are used in these sales pitches”

“understand any man”

“learn how to say the words that will get him to commit”

“the ultimate guide to the male mind”

“overcome frustrations with men”

“connect with a man on a deep emotional level”

“what you should never say to a man”

“the secret to getting him to love you for who you are”

“touch the primal part of his mind”

“miraculous results”

“relationships are the only source of true happiness”

Based upon the phrases used in these sales pitches, women are frustrated by men, and they want desperately to understand men. They want expert dating advice, and they are willing to pay for it. One guide that offers information about “The Respect Principle” is just 31 pages long and sells for $47. (By the way, the Respect Principle says that men would rather be respected than loved, which is, by and large, true for the majority of men.)

So women are willing to spend $47 for a short guide that helps them understand men, while men are content with $10 books that tell them how to pick up women.

Let me tell you a little secret. Men and women will never fully understand each other. Never. But that’s OK, because the differences in the sexes is what makes relationships so deliciously wonderful when they work. But the key to any relationship—and the key to understanding as much as you can about the opposite sex—is communication.

Talk to each other. Tell her what you want. Ask him how he wants to be treated. Tell her how you feel. Share with him what you love about him. Why? Because communication is the key to relationship happiness.

This is Chad Stone, author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, signing off.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

After you've written a book, people start asking you questions about the topic of your book. That's because writing a book automatically makes you an expert. So, since the recent publication of my dating memoir/self-help book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, I've begun receiving emails that ask me questions about dating and relationships. Plus, some men and women want to share their dating stories with me.

And I think that's pretty cool.

From time to time I'm going to share some of those questions in this blog, and I'll also share my answers. So here goes:

Dear Chad:

My boyfriend and I are getting pretty serious (spending 3 or 4 nights together every week), and he's been talking a lot about moving in together. We're not engaged, and I'm worried if I move in with him he'll never feel the need to get married. What should I do? I don't want our relationship to stall out but I'm worried that he won't want to "buy the cow if he can get the milk for free."

Thanks for any insight.

Dear Stephanie:

I hate to break it to you, but unless you and your boyfriend are sleeping in separate bedrooms when he stays over, he's already getting the milk for free. But the decision to move in together is a big one, and It sounds like what you ultimately want is marriage. Right? So talk to him. Communication is important in every stage of a relationship, especially when BIG decisions need to be made.

Have you ever talked about the M word with him? If not, you better talk soon. Don't scare him away with an ultimatum or deadline, but make sure he knows how you feel about marriage. AND MAKE SURE YOU FIND OUT HOW HE FEELS ABOUT IT. If he's one of those hard-to-pin-down, doesn't-want-to-make-a-commitment males, then you are probably not going to change him. No matter how wonderful you are.

Chad Stone
Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet: One Man's Brave Adventure into Dating Again in the 21st Century, available on

Sunday, May 20, 2012

In Praise of Women

Sometimes we need to pause, reflect and appreciate. When we're dating, sometimes we get so caught up in DATING that we forget why we're looking for that special someone in our lives. When we're in a relationship, sometimes we forget to appreciate that special someone who is ALREADY in our lives.

So, on behalf of men everywhere, I would like to take a moment to appreciate what makes women so attractive, delightful and breath-taking to men.

It is quite true that men and women are very different creatures. No one has described this difference better than John Gray in his Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus series of insightful books. I believe that the differences between the sexes is where the chemistry of romance is brewed.

What do I love about women? Ladies, I love your passion. I love that you can get excited over impossibly tall high-heeled shoes. I love it that you find shoes "cute." I love that you're willing to wear shoes tall enough to give you a nose bleed if you think men will find you attractive in them.

I love women because they can't walk past those "Adopt a Pet" displays in the parking lot in front of Whole Foods. While a man says, "We already have a dog," a woman says, "But look at this one-- she's so CUTE!" Women are the reason that Americans have more pets than children.

I love women because they always have something to say. Men, on the other hand, never have anything to say. When two men haven't seen each other for three months, one asks, "What's new?" The other one says, "Same old, same old," forgetting all about his brother's operation and his sister's wedding. But two women who have just returned from the restroom together can talk for hours about the mutural friend that they just discovered they had. If it wasn't for women's verbal communications skills, we men wouldn't know anything about anyone.

I love the gentle, nurturing side of women. While men are all hard edges and tough exteriors, women are soft and inviting. Women invented hugging. Women invented kissing a hurt finger to make it better. Women naturally nurture themselves, every person on the planet and the planet itself. If it weren't for women, men would have blown up the Earth a long time ago.

I love women because they encourage men to be more human. There is nothing wrong with the manly pursuits of building stuff and going into corporate battle, but without women's humanizing influence, men would never do anything but work, battle and afterwards colapse into a heap on the couch.

It's women who convince us men to go on vacations and invite the neighbors over for dinner. Women help us remember to celebrate birthdays and take better care of ourselves. Women remind us to appreciate everything we have to appreciate in our lives.

And I, for one, appreciate everything that women do. Women make life fun. And for that, I thank you all.

Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet: One Man's Brave Adventure into Dating Again in the 21st Century, which is available on The book has a happy ending, because Chad finds a woman to love and appreciate. And appreciate her, he does.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Talking about dating with the Broadminded Women

Yesterday I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Molly and Christine on the Broadminded show on Sirus XM radio. Both ladies were smart, funny and excellent interviewers. We talked about my book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone, and we had a great time.

It was fun to share my dating experiences with Molly and Christine, who are both currently single. They wanted to know what women are doing wrong in the dating world, and that naturally began a discussion of online dating.

I told the ladies that most women don't realized that their online dating profiles aren't about sharing, they're about selling. That's right, online dating profiles are sales brochures. And the product you're selling is yourself. (This goes for men, too.)

Instead of sharing all about your darkest inner secrets, you online profile should present your very best attributes. Start with a nice photo of yourself. Get someone who knows how to take a good photo to take some head shots of you. (And no, Molly and Christine, I am not talking about a "boudior" photo like the ones you get at the mall photo studios.) Smile, for God's sake. Look happy and friendly.

Then, when you are describing yourself, don't go off on a rant about how you know what you want and know what you're willing to put up with in a man, "so don't ask me to compromise because I won't." Does that sound like the kind of woman that a man is going to approach? No way.

Write a profile that makes you sound fun. Write a profile that makes you sound like a man can woo you and make you happy. One of the things that women simply don't understand about men is that men love to please their women. So if you sound like a woman who is cranky and impossible to please, then you might as well be spreading Man Repellent around. The men will stay away in droves.

As I told Molly and Christine on their show, I firmly believe that all of us-- no matter how old we are or what our relationship experience is-- can find love. But in order for that to happen, we've got to BELIEVE it can happen, and then we have to do everything possible to MAKE it happen.

For lots more on this topic and advice about dating, go to and by my book. Then write to me and tell me what you think of it. I'd love to know if my advice and my experience is helpful for you.

That's it for now. The Middle-Aged Babe Magnet has left the building.


Friday, April 27, 2012

You Gotta Believe It Before You See It

Some people just don't get it, bless their hearts. This is the story of someone who gets it, and someone who doesn't.

My friend, Craig, was having a drink with a mutual friend at a restaurant/bar. I'm going to call this other guy Dufus Dipstick, for reasons that will soon become obvious. Craig and Dufus are sitting in the lounge area of the bar, and Craig notices that an attractive blonde woman is looking at him. He smiles at her, and she smiles back. So he does the friendly, manly thing and walks over to say hello to her.

Her name is Susan, and she and Craig start having an animated conversation. The vibes are good. Craig includes Susan's friend in the conversation, and he finds out the friend is a teacher, just like Dufus. So Craig invites Dufus over to join the conversation.

What does Dufus do? Instead of talking with the teacher, he tries to chat up Susan. WTF? thinks Craig. Why is he talking to Susan? That's not how this whole "talking to women in a bar" thing works. Craig is supposed to talk to Susan, since there's obviously a real attraction there, and Dufus is supposed to talk to Susan's friend, since the two of them have something in common.

But no, Dufus doesn't pay hardly any attention to Susan's friend, and that ruins the whole dynamic. After Craig and Dufus leave the bar (without getting any phone numbers, because the vibe was gone by then), Craig turns to Dufus and says, "What's the matter with you? That woman was really interested in you, and you hardly talked to her."

"No she wasn't," replied Dufus.

"Of course she was," said Craig. "She wanted to talk to you about teaching, and you ignored her. You could have left with her phone number."

"She wasn't interested in me at all," said Dufus. And there was nothing Craig could say to convince him otherwise. Dufus didn't see it because he didn't believe it.

That incident is a perfect example of Babe Magnet Rule #1 from my book (Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone): To be a Babe Magnet, you must believe you are a Babe Magnet. Dufus is going to continue to travel through life single, without the companionship of a compatible woman, because he doesn't believe that women are interested in him. Craig, on the other hand, fully believes that women are attracted to him, and his experience reinforces that belief.

If only Craig could convince Dufus that there's a perfect woman waiting for him (Dufus), then Dufus would soon experience that reality. But there's no way to change someone else's mind unless they are willing to change.

Dufus, like so many of us, has it backwards. He thinks, "I'll believe it when I see it." Instead, he should work on believing it--then he'll see it. That's the way that dating--and life--works.

In future posts I'll cover more of the Babe Magnet Rules from Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet.

Thanks for reading, and tell a friend!