Sunday, July 29, 2012

How to Win Gold ("Approved" Version)

It has come to my attention that the Olympic Committee is very protective of its copyrights, trademarks, sponsorship deals, etc. The Olympic Committee owns full rights to the words "Olympics," "Olympic Games," "olympian" and other variations. When you use any of those words in a non-approved, commercial context and you aren't McDonald's or Coca-Cola or another sponsor that has paid zillions of dollars to be associated with The Games, the Olympic Committee threatens to sue you.

Really. Even if you were to use a line such as "How to Win Gold in the Dating Olympics." Oh crap, that's the headline of my last blog post, isn't it?

OK. In an effort to show the Olympic Committee that I am not blantantly and knowingly using their trademarks for my own personal gain, I present this revised, "approved" version of my previous post.

Here goes:

How to “Win Gold” in the Ultimate Sport: Looking for Love


Santa Fe, NM— After the medals have been awarded in London, another kind of sporting event will dominate the thoughts of 99.6 million single American adults—Looking for Love

Chad Stone, author of a humorous guide to dating called Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet (available at www.amazon.com and www.middleagedbabemagnet.com), says there are many similarities between the sporting world games and modern dating.

“For many single adults, looking for love is a major event,” says Stone. “Men and women train for their dates as if they were competing in world-class sporting events, and many singles aren’t happy until they have won the equivalent of a gold medal in dating.”

According to Stone, there are seven sporting/dating styles used while Looking for Love:

Marathon Dater—A Marathon Dater goes on lots of dates. This is the “kiss a lot of frogs” approach to finding love. Sometimes, out of sheer persistence, this approach works. But sometimes Marathon Daters “hit the wall” and settle for a life of singleness.

The Sprinter—The Sprinter can’t stand to NOT have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Before his cell phone cools from the last breakup call, he is dashing off to find a replacement. When a female Sprinter finds someone she likes, she can’t wait to “cross the finish line.” We used to call a woman like this “easy.” Now we say she is behaving like a man.
Gold Medal Perfectionist—This type is great at first and second dates but never seems to find true love because he or she is holding out for the perfect partner. A Gold Medal Perfectionist is so picky that no mere mortal is ever good enough, so why bother with a third date?
The Coach—These know-it-alls freely share their vast knowledge of the opposite sex with anyone who will listen. But Coaches never take their own advice, and they rarely go out on successful dates.
Perpetual Training Mode—A female in Perpetual Training Mode faithfully reads several dating blogs and always looks great—because you know how important first impressions are. A male in Perpetual Training Mode goes to the gym a lot to work on his biceps. But all of this prep time leaves precious little time for actual dating.
Individual Medley Dater—Just like the swimmers who do four different strokes during a single race, Individual Medley Daters aren’t content to date just one person at a time. It may be fun for a while, but ultimately this type of dater gets himself into trouble when he gets the names of his dates mixed up.
Confident Competitor—The true champion in the Looking for Love competition combines the best qualities of several dating styles. Like the Gold Medal Perfectionists, they are looking for quality—but not perfection. They know that sometimes dating requires persistence. Confident Competitors finish the race at their own pace and ultimately find the man or woman of their dreams.


NOTE: I hope that the term "Win Gold" isn't also owned by the Olympic Committee. I guess if they do own it, I'll hear from their lawyers. :-(

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

How to “Win Gold” in the Dating Olympics

After the medals have been awarded at the Olympic Games in London, another kind of Olympics will once again dominate the thoughts of millions of people. This is the “Dating Olympics,” which consumes the hearts and minds of 99.6 million unmarried adults in America.

Chad Stone, author of a humorous guide to dating called Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet (www.middleagedbabemagnet.com), says there are many similarities between the Olympic Games and modern dating.

“For many single adults, dating is an Olympic sport,” says Stone. “Many men and women train for their dates as if they were competing in a world-class sporting event, and many singles aren’t happy until they have won the equivalent of a gold medal in dating.”

According to Stone, there are eight dating styles in the Dating Olympics:

Marathon Dater—Just as a marathon runner logs a lot of miles, the Marathon Dater goes on lots of dates. These dates are spread across many years, leaving the Marathon Dater exhausted. This is the “kiss a lot of frogs” approach to finding love. Sometimes, out of sheer persistence, this approach works. But sometimes Marathon Daters “hit the wall” and settle for a life of singleness.

The Sprinter—The Sprinter can’t stand to NOT have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Before his cell phone cools from the last breakup call, he is dashing off to find a replacement. When a female Sprinter finds someone she likes, she can’t wait to “cross the finish line.” We used to call women like this “easy.” Now we say she is behaving like a man.

Gold Medal Perfectionist—Have you ever known someone who is great at first and second dates, but never seems to find true love? Gold Medal Perfectionists hold out for that Perfect 10 that is sometimes (very rarely) achieved during an Olympic event, but almost never happens in real life. A Gold Medal Perfectionist is so picky that no mere mortal is ever good enough, so why bother with a third date?

The Coach—These know-it-alls freely share their vast knowledge of the opposite sex with anyone who will listen. They give great pep talks to friends who have just returned from a horrible date. They give free advice about relationships and what  their friends did wrong on their dates. But somehow these Coaches never take their own advice, and they rarely go out on successful dates.

Perpetual Training Mode—These singles seem to always be preparing for getting back into the dating game. A female in Perpetual Training Mode reads several dating blogs, always looks great and is probably addicted to mani-pedis, because you know how important first impressions are. A male in Perpetual Training Mode goes to the gym a lot to work on his biceps. (Your biceps can never be too big.) But all of this prep time leaves precious little time for actual dating.

Out-of-the-Medals—This type is the polar opposite of the Gold Medal Perfectionist. He or she isn’t nearly picky enough. Why wait for a Gold Medalist when you can go out with someone who didn’t make the Olympic team, but has a really cool Olympics souvenir t-shirt? Unfortunately, people who settle for anyone with a pulse quickly get bored with these losers. But when your standards are this low, at least you can always find someone to go out with.

Individual Medley Dater—Just like the swimmers who do four different strokes during a single race, Individual Medley Daters aren’t content to date just one person at a time. It may be fun for a while, but ultimately this type of dater gets himself into trouble when he gets the names of his dates mixed up.

Confident Competitor—The true champion in the dating arena combines the best qualities of the other Olympic dating styles. Like the Gold Medal Perfectionists, they are looking for quality—but they know that perfection is for fairy tales, not for real life. Confident Competitors are their own best coaches, but they aren’t afraid to put themselves in the game. Like Marathon Daters, they know that sometimes you need persistence to keep dating in order to find someone worthy of a commitment. The Confident Competitors don’t panic and don’t pull muscles from trying too hard. They finish the race at their own pace, and by knowing what they want and not settling for an also-ran, they find the man or woman of their dreams.

Chad Stone’s humorous guide to dating, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, contains lots of additional advice and observations about dating and relationships in the 21st century. Chad Stone uses his post-divorce experiences to illustrate a series of “Babe Magnet Rules” that provide insightful advice on how to find, woo and win a modern woman. For women, the book offers a rare, uncensored look into the mind of a single man.
 

Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone is available from as a trade paperback and an eBook from www.amazon.com. More information is available at www.middleagedbabemagnet.com.




Saturday, July 7, 2012

Is Your Dog Helping Your Love Life?


This is NOT a manly man dog.

Now you have a new excuse if your love life stinks: Blame your dog.

Smart men have known for a long time that dogs can be babe magnets. The right dog, at the right place and time (such as at a park on a sunny Saturday afternoon) can be the perfect conversation starter between a single man and a single woman.

But what kind of dog is best? And what kind of dog is a buzz-kill for your love life?





Kloof, a new iPhone app for pet lovers, conducted a study of which breeds of dog might be the best babe magnet or man magnet for its owner. I’m sure we are all dying to find out the results of the survey, right?

There’s good news for women who own golden retrievers. That was the breed selected in this unscientific survey to be the number one breed to attract men. And those men are most likely to view women with golden retrievers as “girlfriend material.” Rounding out the Top Five “man magnet” dogs were Labrador retrievers, Chihuahuas, poodles and beagles.

I understand the logic of golden retrievers and labradors being man magnets. After all, those are dogs that appeal to manly men. Those are real dogs—dogs that like to chase things and bring them back to you; dogs that are way too big to sit comfortably in your lap or ride around in a pink purse. But I don’t know why Chihuahuas, poodles and beagles are man magnets. Chihuahuas and poodles are girly dogs, and beagles are the dumbest breed of dog on the planet. A beagle is dumber that a box of oatmeal.

In the babe magnet category, these breeds of dogs were ranked by women as those that would make them think most highly of the men that owned them: German shepherds, golden retrievers, Labrador retrievers, Siberian huskies and French bulldogs. According to the survey, men with German shepherds and retrievers are seen as “great dad” material, and men who own a Siberian husky are “manly.”

There are some dog breeds that transfer a negative connotation to their owners. Men say that women with a poodle or Chihuahua are likely to be “high maintenance.” And women say that men who own bulldogs, boxers and rottweilers are, shall we say, not the sharpest tools in the shed.

How does this “Dog Theory of Sexiness” actually play in the real world? Well, I have never in my life owned a “manly” dog, but I did own a girlie-man poodle when I met the lovely woman who has since become my lovely wife. Fortunately (especially for me), owning a girlie-man dog was not a deal-breaker for her. She was able to look past my poodle and see the manly man within me.

But, if you’re a guy with a poodle or other non-manly dog, now you have a great excuse if you aren’t happy with your love life. But then you’ll have to deal with the guilt trip that your dog lays on you.


Chad Stone
Author, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet
(available on amazon.com)