Saturday, June 16, 2012

Why don’t women understand men?

Why don’t women understand men? Is it because men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, as author John Gray says?

Well, sort of.

Men and women ARE hardwired differently, so men behave like men, and women behave like women. And one dramatic difference in this hardwiring is that women seem to be a lot more interested in understanding men than men are in understanding women.

Why do I say this? I got myself on an email list that offers a steady stream of dating advice for women. Along with that is a steady stream of free advice is a steady stream of offers to buy “foolproof” guides that contain magical secrets to finding men, getting them to fall in love with you and getting them to commit to you forever and ever, amen.

Here are just some of the phrases that are used in these sales pitches”

“understand any man”

“learn how to say the words that will get him to commit”

“the ultimate guide to the male mind”

“overcome frustrations with men”

“connect with a man on a deep emotional level”

“what you should never say to a man”

“the secret to getting him to love you for who you are”

“touch the primal part of his mind”

“miraculous results”

“relationships are the only source of true happiness”

Based upon the phrases used in these sales pitches, women are frustrated by men, and they want desperately to understand men. They want expert dating advice, and they are willing to pay for it. One guide that offers information about “The Respect Principle” is just 31 pages long and sells for $47. (By the way, the Respect Principle says that men would rather be respected than loved, which is, by and large, true for the majority of men.)

So women are willing to spend $47 for a short guide that helps them understand men, while men are content with $10 books that tell them how to pick up women.

Let me tell you a little secret. Men and women will never fully understand each other. Never. But that’s OK, because the differences in the sexes is what makes relationships so deliciously wonderful when they work. But the key to any relationship—and the key to understanding as much as you can about the opposite sex—is communication.

Talk to each other. Tell her what you want. Ask him how he wants to be treated. Tell her how you feel. Share with him what you love about him. Why? Because communication is the key to relationship happiness.

This is Chad Stone, author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, signing off.


  1. Women tend to waaay over-think things. Us men are simple creatures and the gals just can't (or won't) realize that what we do and say are usually things they can take for face value.

    They are used to communicating with other women where a single phrase can mean multiple things. When dealing with men, they are looking for phantoms that are just not there. It frustrates them to no end and that is why they are paying $47 for a meaningless pamphlet.

    I can sum all male/female relationships in 7 are stupid and women are crazy...I have never had a disagreement on this fundamental and simple truth.

    1. Ace:

      Like I said, men and women will never fully understand each other. We are different types of creatures, and we are hard-wired differently. But as the French say, "Viva la difference." Our differences make relationships so intoxicating when they work.


  2. Yeah, "Viva la difference" "Yin and Yang" and all that. I agree, when it works, it works well but when when it doesn't, I want to stick a .45 in my mouth. It is what nature proscribes after all. Males and females have been honed by many years of evolution to be where we are now so something works, if imperfectly.