Wednesday, March 28, 2012
One of the things I observed as a single man was how many of my friends and acquaintances approached dating in a haphazard manner. That’s not the way to succeed at dating (or anything).
As Steve Jobs used to say, "Think Different."
When you start a job search, you get yourself organized and assess your strengths. You revise your resume. You start networking amongst friends and associates. You read job postings and start applying for jobs. You go on interviews and try to say the right things and impress the right people.
Why not put some of that same energy and focus into finding a date—or a mate? Isn’t your love life worth a little of your time, attention and effort? Why act as though finding a romantic partner has to be left completely up to fate?
Here are some tips for ensuring that you succeed at dating:
First, get yourself into the dating mindset. Make sure you really want to date. Don’t merely go through the motions, pretending that you want to meet someone special if you really don’t. Consciously decide that you are ready, willing, and able to participate in the exciting world of dating. (I am not being sarcastic here. Dating really can be a marvelous adventure.)
Second, clear your head and clearly state your intentions. If you are looking for an active social life, but you’re not ready for a serious commitment, be honest with yourself—and with your dates. If you’re ready to find the last love of your life, be clear about that, too.
You’ve set goals before, right? You’ve made New Year’s resolutions. Setting your dating intention is the same thing. Know what you want so you’ll recognize it when it manifests in your life.
Third, get your act together and get your mojo working. Start taking better care of yourself. Get back into exercising. Eat healthier food. Turn off the TV and read books that make you feel confident and happy. Get a new hair style. Invest in yourself by getting some new clothes. (If you don’t want to spend a lot of money, shop at the second-hand stores.) Be the best “you” possible. Don’t try to be someone that isn’t you, but do amplify and accentuate your positives.
Fourth, turn your dating radar on. There are lots of places where you could meet the love of your life—including in the line at Starbucks, at the Apple store or hanging out in the park. Be open to meeting the love of your life ANYWHERE. And by all means, get out or your house or apartment more often.
I’ll bet you $10 right now that your next love isn’t going to knock on your front door uninvited.
CHAD STONE is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, available from amazon.com.
Monday, March 19, 2012
I am delighted to announce that my new book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone, is now available from Amazon.com!
Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet is the almost completely true story of one man's brave adventure into dating again in the 21st Century. The hero (me!) jumps headfirst into the dating pool with the goal of becoming a self-professed Babe Magnet. The story unfolds as a humorous memoir that’s also an insightful dating and relationship guide for men of all ages. For women, the book offers a unique, unvarnished look into the mind of a real man—revealing how a single man thinks and why he behaves as he does.
Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet is a journey of modern self-discovery that is laugh-out-loud funny in some places and poignantly tender in others. Fascinating, funny and heartfelt, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet is proof that love is possible at any age— as long as you’re willing to embrace it.
Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet is available from the Kindle Store on amazon.com for the low introductory price of $4.95. Just click here to buy it.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Have you ever tried online dating? If you've been single in the past decade, the answer is probably yes. According to recent surveys, about 20% of couples who have recently become couples met online. Yours truly, Chad Stone, included.
R. Luke DuBois, who describes himself as a New York City-based "artist and computer programmer," wondered what our online profiles reveal about us. He analyzed profiles from 21 top dating sites and broke them into individual zip codes. Then he determined where certain words appeared more often than anywhere else.
Fascinating idea, huh?
Some of the results were fairly predicatable. The words "acting" and "vegetarian" appeared most often in Southern California. "Gay" and "grass" were popular words used in Northern California online profiles. "Mullet" was used most often in Alabama, as was "prayer." "Sox" (as in Red Sox) topped the list in the Boston area. "Casino" and "cathouse" and "gambling" were commonly used in Nevada's online profiles.
But then there were plenty of surprising and/or bizarre results in Mr. DuBois's statistics. "Marshmallow" was a popular word in Iowa-- hopefully not to describe people's bodies. "Curvy" was the big word in Louisiana, and that WAS probably used to describe female bodies. "Wet," "hard," "cougar," and "picky" were all popular in Washington State, but probably not in the same sentence. "Gal" was a popular word used to describe women in North Dakota. (I didn't know anyone still used that word.) And singles in Texas used the word "bust" more than anywhere else.
So, what can we learn from these results? Maybe that the USA is an enormous country that is far from being homogenous. Regional differences still rule-- and I think that's a very good thing.
But no matter where you are single in America, you're in good company. We're all looking for "love."
NOTE: Check back next week for info about my upcoming book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone!