Wednesday, May 30, 2012
And I think that's pretty cool.
From time to time I'm going to share some of those questions in this blog, and I'll also share my answers. So here goes:
My boyfriend and I are getting pretty serious (spending 3 or 4 nights together every week), and he's been talking a lot about moving in together. We're not engaged, and I'm worried if I move in with him he'll never feel the need to get married. What should I do? I don't want our relationship to stall out but I'm worried that he won't want to "buy the cow if he can get the milk for free."
Thanks for any insight.
I hate to break it to you, but unless you and your boyfriend are sleeping in separate bedrooms when he stays over, he's already getting the milk for free. But the decision to move in together is a big one, and It sounds like what you ultimately want is marriage. Right? So talk to him. Communication is important in every stage of a relationship, especially when BIG decisions need to be made.
Have you ever talked about the M word with him? If not, you better talk soon. Don't scare him away with an ultimatum or deadline, but make sure he knows how you feel about marriage. AND MAKE SURE YOU FIND OUT HOW HE FEELS ABOUT IT. If he's one of those hard-to-pin-down, doesn't-want-to-make-a-commitment males, then you are probably not going to change him. No matter how wonderful you are.
Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet: One Man's Brave Adventure into Dating Again in the 21st Century, available on http://www.amazon.com/.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
So, on behalf of men everywhere, I would like to take a moment to appreciate what makes women so attractive, delightful and breath-taking to men.
It is quite true that men and women are very different creatures. No one has described this difference better than John Gray in his Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus series of insightful books. I believe that the differences between the sexes is where the chemistry of romance is brewed.
What do I love about women? Ladies, I love your passion. I love that you can get excited over impossibly tall high-heeled shoes. I love it that you find shoes "cute." I love that you're willing to wear shoes tall enough to give you a nose bleed if you think men will find you attractive in them.
I love women because they can't walk past those "Adopt a Pet" displays in the parking lot in front of Whole Foods. While a man says, "We already have a dog," a woman says, "But look at this one-- she's so CUTE!" Women are the reason that Americans have more pets than children.
I love women because they always have something to say. Men, on the other hand, never have anything to say. When two men haven't seen each other for three months, one asks, "What's new?" The other one says, "Same old, same old," forgetting all about his brother's operation and his sister's wedding. But two women who have just returned from the restroom together can talk for hours about the mutural friend that they just discovered they had. If it wasn't for women's verbal communications skills, we men wouldn't know anything about anyone.
I love the gentle, nurturing side of women. While men are all hard edges and tough exteriors, women are soft and inviting. Women invented hugging. Women invented kissing a hurt finger to make it better. Women naturally nurture themselves, every person on the planet and the planet itself. If it weren't for women, men would have blown up the Earth a long time ago.
I love women because they encourage men to be more human. There is nothing wrong with the manly pursuits of building stuff and going into corporate battle, but without women's humanizing influence, men would never do anything but work, battle and afterwards colapse into a heap on the couch.
It's women who convince us men to go on vacations and invite the neighbors over for dinner. Women help us remember to celebrate birthdays and take better care of ourselves. Women remind us to appreciate everything we have to appreciate in our lives.
And I, for one, appreciate everything that women do. Women make life fun. And for that, I thank you all.
Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet: One Man's Brave Adventure into Dating Again in the 21st Century, which is available on amazon.com. The book has a happy ending, because Chad finds a woman to love and appreciate. And appreciate her, he does.
Friday, May 4, 2012
It was fun to share my dating experiences with Molly and Christine, who are both currently single. They wanted to know what women are doing wrong in the dating world, and that naturally began a discussion of online dating.
I told the ladies that most women don't realized that their online dating profiles aren't about sharing, they're about selling. That's right, online dating profiles are sales brochures. And the product you're selling is yourself. (This goes for men, too.)
Instead of sharing all about your darkest inner secrets, you online profile should present your very best attributes. Start with a nice photo of yourself. Get someone who knows how to take a good photo to take some head shots of you. (And no, Molly and Christine, I am not talking about a "boudior" photo like the ones you get at the mall photo studios.) Smile, for God's sake. Look happy and friendly.
Then, when you are describing yourself, don't go off on a rant about how you know what you want and know what you're willing to put up with in a man, "so don't ask me to compromise because I won't." Does that sound like the kind of woman that a man is going to approach? No way.
Write a profile that makes you sound fun. Write a profile that makes you sound like a man can woo you and make you happy. One of the things that women simply don't understand about men is that men love to please their women. So if you sound like a woman who is cranky and impossible to please, then you might as well be spreading Man Repellent around. The men will stay away in droves.
As I told Molly and Christine on their show, I firmly believe that all of us-- no matter how old we are or what our relationship experience is-- can find love. But in order for that to happen, we've got to BELIEVE it can happen, and then we have to do everything possible to MAKE it happen.
For lots more on this topic and advice about dating, go to amazon.com and by my book. Then write to me and tell me what you think of it. I'd love to know if my advice and my experience is helpful for you.
That's it for now. The Middle-Aged Babe Magnet has left the building.