Great Dating Advice Tips from the Internet

 

There’s no shortage of dating advice on the internet. (Including the dating advice website you’re reading right now, written by yours truly, Chad Stone the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet!). If you want to see just how much dating advice is out there in web-land, create a Google Alert for “dating advice” and you will get a recap every single day.

 

So here’s a quick round-up of some recent dating advice and relationship tips that I gleaned from the internet. Enjoy!

 

Dating Advice #1: Do not talk about your ex-wife/ex-husband/ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend on a date.

Those of you who have read my previous posts (and my dating advice book, The Babe Magnet Rules of Dating Over 50, http://amzn.to/13hyWAj ) know that one of my pet peeves is bad-mouthing your ex-spouse or your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend. That’s just a really dumb thing to do when you’re on a date with someone new. It makes you look like a jerk. So I loved this story from HuffPost called “The Quickest Way to Crash a Relationship.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/susan-campos/download-dating-the-quick_b_4834600.html

 

Another popular topic of dating advice posts online is “inappropriate online dating pictures.”  You know the kind—a guy in workout clothes showing off his muscles, or a picture of him standing next to his sports car. Or how about a woman and her two little dogs dress up for Halloween. Have you ever seen any of these?

http://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/how-analyze-online-dating-profile-pictures-whos-keeper

Five Reasons You Shouldn’t Let Your Friends Set You Up caught my eye. Five reasons? Aren’t there more like 105 reasons in the annals of dating advice? Aren’t there at least a couple of reasons for every person you went out with that didn’t work out, even though your friend said you were “perfect” for each other? Sure. But there’s always the ONE REASON you might want to let your friends set you up. IT MIGHT WORK OUT. There’s no one right way to meet the love of your life. Here’s the story:

http://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/5-reasons-you-shouldnt-let-your-friends-set-you

There's a lot of dating advice on the Internet. Some of it can be confusing.

 

And then there’s all the dating advice you could have learned over the years from the “How I Met Your Mother” TV show. There’s enough material here for several books. A recent web story covered some of the highlights, which are especially timely because the series is going to end soon. One of my favorite tips from the show is “Mystery is much more exciting than history.” That refers to how easy it is in the Facebook and Google world to find out WAY TOO MUCH about someone you’re about to go out with. Sometimes it’s more fun to find out things on your own. Check out this link if you like the TV show at all:

http://www.theonlinerocket.com/campus-life/2014/02/25/how-i-met-your-mother-creates-rules-for-dating/

Best of all-- since these tips and stories were posted on the Internet, you know they are all true!

Please visit the Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet page on Facebook. Like it and you’ll get an almost daily dose of laughs, wisdom and stuff you can share with your own friends on Facebook.

Have a great day!

Dating after divorce does not have to be difficult

Dating after divorce is an adventure that can be fruitful and funny. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

Dating after divorce can actually be a very rewarding experience.

 

Too many people think that dating after divorce is difficult. When they talk about their dating after divorce experiences, they start getting depressed. “Dating after divorce is a real chore,” they say.

But why does it have to be that way? I think that anyone who thinks that dating after divorce sucks needs an attitude adjustment. Simple as that.

My mission while dating after divorce

When I was dating after divorce, I was on a mission. My mission was to have fun and find the love of my life. That was how I began my dating over 50 life, which I wrote about in a book called Confessions of a Middle Aged Babe Magnet: One Man's Brave Adventure into Dating Again in the 21st Century by yours truly, Chad Stone. Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet is a humorous look at dating after divorce and dating after 50. It contains 92 Babe Magnet Rules that help guide a dating over 50 man (or a dating over 50 woman) through the process of finding love.

After my marriage ended, I (Chad Stone) began dating after divorce in search of the last great love of my life. I was not afraid to jump into dating, because I was very clear about my intentions. I had my “eye on the prize.” I quickly realized that, in order to attract the Babe of my dreams while, I needed to work on myself a little bit. I had to be open to new ideas. While dating over 50, I had to be flexible enough to improve myself so I’d be a more desirable “catch.” I had to learn how to become a Babe Magnet so I could attract the woman of my dreams.

 

A funny story of dating after divorce

As my dating after divorce story unfolded, I wrote my thoughts and adventures down in a journal. Ultimately, my story because a humorous memoir that’s also an insightful dating and relationship guide for men of all ages. It contains lots of great dating after divorce advice--and lots of laughs for anyone who has ever been single.

My dating after divorce story became a humorous memoir/dating advice book called Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet.

 

During my dating after divorce adventure, I discovered that my soul mate was not going to knock unannounced at my front door. (Babe Magnet Rule #9: When in doubt, a Babe Magnet gets off the couch and goes out.) I learned how to woo a woman by paying attention to what women appreciate. (Babe Magnet Rule #36: Any time a man cooks a meal for a woman, he gets relationship points.) And during my dating after divorce journey, I learned how to stand apart from other single men. (Babe Magnet Rule #87: Be a gentleman. There are so few gentlemen left in the world these days, and being one is a great way to set yourself apart from all of the jerks that women have been dating.)

Dating after divorce success

I shared all of my new-found knowledge and awareness learned while I was dating after divorce. It’s all contained in Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet -- a journey of modern self-discovery that is laugh-out-loud funny in some places and poignantly tender in others. For women, the book offers a unique, dating after divorce look into the mind of a real man—revealing how a single man thinks and why he behaves as he does. Dating after divorce has never been so much fun! Middle-AgedBabeMagnet

I even wrote a follow-up book called The Babe Magnet Rules of Dating Over 50: 101 Tips for Meeting, Winning, & Keeping a New Love.

Fascinating, funny and heartfelt, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet is a triumph of the human spirit and proof that love is possible at any age while dating after divorce—as long as you’re willing to embrace it. My tongue-in-cheek “Babe Magnet” persona turned out to be the vehicle I used to find the last great love of my life. It’s a powerful, entertaining story with a happy ending that will make you smile and fill you with hope. Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet: One Man's Brave Adventure into Dating Again in the 21st Century 

Any questions?

Please “Like” the Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet page on Facebook. Thank you!

 

Online Dating Goes Mobile: There’s an App for That

 

Online dating and looking for love online has definitely gone mainstream. According to a Pew Internet study, 11% of American adults have used online dating sites or mobile dating apps while looking for love. Among those adults who are “single and looking,” the figure jumps to 38% who have gone online or used mobile apps to help them find a romantic partner. (Interestingly, another 10% who are “single and not looking” have also used online dating sites and apps. They must be window shopping.)

 

The study about online dating and mobile dating apps is fascinating in its scope and detail. You can read more about it here:

http://pewinternet.org/Reports/2013/Online-Dating/Main-Report/Part-2.aspx

 

I’ve covered online dating in previous posts. This time we’re going to look at mobile phone dating apps that turn smart phones into a whole new way to meet up. (Thanks to www.CassandraDaily.com for bringing these to my attention.)

 

Twine

Let’s face it, most dating sites and apps encourage users to make judgments about people based almost exclusively on a profile photo. (A photo is the first thing you see until you click to see a person’s profile.)  But an app called Twine blurs a person’s profile at first, so it forces users to evaluate possible Cupid connections based only on personality info. Twine syncs up with the Facebook profiles of users to create a more secure environment. The app provides up to three potential matches every day. Users of Twine can see each other’s age, location, a compatibility meter, and their mutual interests (and that blurry profile photo), which the app uses to suggest conversation topics. You can chat anonymously for a while. Then, if both of you agree to see each other’s clear photos and first names, bingo—all is revealed.

 

Twine blurs a person's profile photo at first to encourage you to focus on their personality and interests.

 

Anomo

Like Twine, Anomo is a popular dating app that hides the users’ profile pictures until they choose to share them. So instead of photos, in the beginning people only see a cartoon avatar. They also see a username, gender, age group (verified by Facebook), location, and interests. To get things going, the app suggests games to break the ice and help find potential matches. To make it more fun, Anomo lets you chat one-on-one (using 540 characters or less), invite people to play the games with them, and check into locations. As time progresses, users can unlock personal content including their names, pictures, and occupations. Anomo was originally launched as a dating app, but it has also gained additional traction as a way for people to make friends and connect professionally.

 

Tinder

Tinder might just be the perfect dating app for single people who suffer from a fear of rejection. It was launched to connect people anonymously based on their locations and their personal preferences. For whatever reason—who really knows why some apps and some websites catch fire, Tinder has exploded in popularity. Already more than 35 million people have created profiles and more than 1 million matches have been made. One reason it has caught on so quickly is because the app links to users’ Facebook accounts. This gives Tinder the power to suggest possible matches based on Facebook friends and interests. To address privacy concerns, members remain anonymous until they both indicate a mutual “Like.”

The Tinder mobile app already has 35 million registered users. Love is calling!

 

 

What does it all mean?

So I guess the moral of this story is this: as long as there are single people, there will be no shortage of ways to connect with them, meet them, and fall in love. Take it from yours truly, Chad Stone, the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. I found my wife online, so I can tell you that technology can be a wonderful thing when you’re looking for your soul mate.

 

Please connect with me at www.facebook.com/ConfessionsofaMiddleAgedBabeMagnet for my daily thoughts and discoveries about life, dating and relationships.

 

Dating After 40: Why Do Men Want Younger Women?

One of the most common dating after 40 questions I am asked by women goes something like this: “Why are so many men who are dating after 40 looking for younger women? What’s up with a 60 year-old-man who clearly wants to date a 40-year-old woman?”

Well, why is it that so many men who are dating after 40 clearly want younger women? Or do we hear a lot about the over-40 single men who want younger women, even though the majority of men are happy to date women in their own age group. Which is it?

There’s no question that some older men do want to date younger women. One reason is simply because they can. Our society has long accepted the idea of an older man dating a younger woman. If a 45-year-old man can get a 30-year-old woman to go out with him, why shouldn’t he? Unfortunately, though, the tables are rarely turned. Society has not embraced the idea of an older woman going out with a younger man. When a 50-something woman does go out with a 30-something man, for example, we call that woman a “cougar.” And the term “cougar” isn’t usually meant to be a compliment.
 
So if society allows a man to date a younger woman, what’s the age difference that’s acceptable? Is it OK for a 60-year-old man to date a 40-year-old woman? How about a 65-year-old man dating a 40-year-old woman? That’s 25 year difference in their ages. How about a 30-year difference in age? Where does a single person draw the line? Or as one woman commented, “It bothers me when I see a man who’s in his 60s going after a woman in her 30s. What does that mean for me, at 53? Does that mean I have to date men who are 75 and older?”

I hope not. That would really suck, wouldn’t it?

 

I don't know, Heff. How many blondes DOES it take to change a diaper? I'm thinking-- three.
 

Let’s face it—getting older is no picnic for either gender. A typical man has concerns about his virility, while the typical woman tends to be concerned with her physical beauty. Many men who are afraid that they are getting older (as in “past their prime”) try to recapture the feeling of virility that they had as young men by dating a younger woman. Dating a younger woman makes them feel younger, and that often will give a man an extra shot of energy—and dare I say, testosterone.
 
But speaking as both a man and the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, I can tell you that there are plenty of problems with dating a younger woman. For one thing, there’s the lack of common cultural experience. If the first band you fell in love with is the Beatles, and you remember their Ed Sullivan Show appearances in 1964, then you’re not going to have that in common with a younger woman who first got excited about Duran Duran (“the band so nice they named it twice”). You’re probably not going to like the same movies. The list goes on and on.
 
Another huge challenge in dating someone who is significantly older or younger than you are has to do with kids. Let’s say you’ve got older kids who are all out of the house—in college or even into their adult lives. Then you start seeing someone whose kids are still in elementary school. That’s a huge difference in your family situations. And anytime you date someone with kids living in the home it changes the dynamics of the dating situation.
 
So whether you’re a man dating younger women or a woman dating younger men, you’ve got to deal with a lot of age-related challenges.

That’s why, in my humble experience and in my own personal research, I’ve found it much more likely that long-term relationships blossom when the two people are close enough in age to have a common bond of mutual experiences. Being at roughly the same stage of life and coming from the same cultural experiences is a huge factor in finding mutual compatibility.

So, gentlemen, go ahead and date a few young babes if you need to get it out of your system. But I’ll bet you five bucks that the woman you choose for a long-term relationship is closer to your own age.

For more on this topic—and just about everything else concerning dating and relationships, read The Babe Magnet Rules of Dating Over 50: 101 Tips for Meeting, Winning & Keeping a New Love by yours truly, Chad Stone.

 

 

Five Ways Women Kill Relationships

In a previous post here on Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, I talked about the Five Ways Men Kill Relationships. It’s only fair that I talk about some of the behaviors that women use to chase men away. So this time we cover the five ways that women kill relationships.

Women believe that they’re better at relationships than men are. And they’re probably right. Men can be clueless and self-centered. But women can also fail in the relationship department. Women bring a complexity to the lives of men, and sometimes men just can’t handle it.

Some of the ways that women mess up relationships can be described as personality types. So here are the behaviors of five personality types that women use to kill relationships.

1.       Ms. Bossy Pants

Dating is complicated for the modern woman. Most women have jobs, and many have high-paying careers. These women are used to being not only independent—but in charge. They’ve amped up their masculine energy to succeed in the working world, only to find out that this hard-charging energy makes dating and relationships more difficult. Why? Because the process of dating and developing relationships is VERY old-fashioned. The man demonstrates his masculine energy by being the instigator. He makes the first move, he plans dates, and he basically tries to impress the woman. The woman, on the other hand, needs to relax in her role of being the prize that the man is trying to win.
 



There is nothing like a bossy woman to get a man all warm inside. Right, guys?

When a modern career woman, who I will call Ms. Bossy Pants, enters a new relationship, one of the most difficult things for her is to let the man take the lead. She’s so used to handling things on her own—or even telling people what to do, that she can’t help but make suggestions about how a date should go. He picks a nice restaurant, and she says, “Well, the new Asian Bistro is really quite fabulous. Wouldn’t you really rather go there?” Ms. Bossy Pants has to learn how to wear a dress and let the man be in charge. Otherwise, the only men she will attract are wimpy guys to will put up with all of the bossing.

2.       The Wedding Planner

There are two basic ways of moving too fast in a relationship. For men, it’s trying to get sex too quickly. For women, it’s picking out the wedding invitation design after two dates. Both of these types of moving too fast can kill a relationship.

You casually mention the "M word" during an early date, and this is what he pictures.

 

Healthy relationships usually progress in a natural, comfortable way. A relationship works best when both parties are moving along at the same speed. But if one is way ahead of the other, there’s bound to be some friction. If it’s the woman who is already wedding planning before he’s committed, then he is going to behave like a man and run like hell. I think the majority of cases of men bailing from relationships has to do with women who are planning for a lifetime of bliss when the guy can’t plan past Friday.

3.       Ms. Gold Digger

Yes, ladies, even in the 21^st century there are women who are in it for the money. Remember Anna Nicole Smith (the former Playboy Playmate) who married that 187-year-old billionaire oil tycoon? Do you really think she fell madly in love with him? Me neither. Anna Nicole was the ultimate Ms. Gold Digger.

What do you REALLY want from a relationship?

Most women are not simply after a man’s money. But men are still sensitive to the fact that some women are impressed by fancy cars, jewelry and big houses. So when a woman even hints at being interested in a man for his money, his warning sirens go off. This works both ways, too. When a man starts acting like his girlfriend is going to be his Sugar Momma, she’s going to give him a swift kick out the door.
 

4.       The Man Fixer

There’s an old saying about how men and women approach finding a mate. A man meets a woman and says, “She’s perfect. I hope she never changes.” A woman meets a man and says, “He needs a lot  

She's thinking: "This guy has potential. I can really turn him into someone nice." 

of work, but I can whip him into shape.” A woman who behaves as a Man Fixer loves the challenge of rehabbing a man who has lots of potential. Like a contractor who can turn an ugly, dilapidated house into a neighborhood treasure, The Man Fixer rolls up her sleeves and gets right to work. Lots of men are happy to make small changes for their women. And lots of men are better off for the touch of a smart woman with good taste. But most men don’t want to be rehab projects. When a man feels like he’s a Man Fixer’s project, he’s going to bolt.

 

5.       Miss “Let Me Tell You How Horrible Men Are”

What is it about some women and their man bashing? Why are they still looking for Mr. Right if they’re convinced that every man is a total jerk? Miss “Let Me Tell You How Horrible Men Are” is quite sure that men are inferior creatures, but there she is on Match.com on a Friday night, looking through the profiles of local men. She’s hoping to find the one-in-a-million man who might be good

Men are not looking for a bad time. Do you think this woman would be any fun to be with on a date?

enough for her—and at the same time she’s quite sure that he doesn’t exist. Miss “Let Me Tell You How Horrible Men Are” gets crabbier as she gets older, so she starts to actually repel men. This leads to a self-fulfilling prophesy whereby men start to run away. Then she REALLY believes that all men are horrible—they won’t even talk to her anymore.
 
Ladies, there’s a simple fact about men that you really need to hear: Men aren’t looking for a bad time, and they aren’t looking for relationships with crabby women who are impossible to please. No man ever wrote, “For a bad time call Lisa,” on a bathroom wall.

 

Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet and Babe Magnet Rules of Dating Over 50. Both books are available at Amazon.com.

 

How to Have a Great First Date (Part 1)

Is there anything as nerve-wracking as a first date? Of course there is. A root canal is no picnic, and neither is a vasectomy. But when it comes to a social encounter with a fellow civilized human being, then yes, a first date ranks up near the top of the Industrial Strength Deodorant moments.

What should you wear? Ladies, here's a little dating advice: you want to look cute and maybe a little sexy—without looking skanky. A little black dress that might be perfect for a nighttime dinner date is probably over the top for an afternoon “meet and greet” at Starbucks.

 

A little black dress might be fine for a nighttime date with someone you already know well. But for a first date at Starbucks? I don't think so.

 

Should you wear lipstick on a first date? If you’re a woman—absolutely. Deep red lipstick for a daytime first date? Probably not.

And men, what should you wear? Some good dating advice would be to start with pants. Wearing pants on a date is always a good idea. Wear clean pants, not the crusty jeans you’ve been wearing all week. Don’t wear ratty, worn out shorts. And wear a nice shirt---no t-shirts and not some wrinkled thing you found lying on your bedroom floor.

What is it with men’s fashion these days, anyway? The average man looks so “casual” that, in previous decades, he would qualify as a total slob. Even millionaires look like slobs. What’s up with that? With all their money, they can get away with looking like slobs. But unless you have literally millions of dollars, show your date a little respect and dress nicer that you would if you were going out with the guys.



Can you say "Bad Hair Day?" Gentlemen, this is not a good look when you're trying to impress a woman.



Along those same dating advice lines, gentlemen, what’s with the bedhead hair? Don’t you own a comb? I love the line from the old Rod Stewart song, “Combed my hair in a thousand ways, but I turned out looking just the same.” Mind you, this is from the guy who invented the rooster hair look. But at least he TRIED to get his hair to look good.

Ladies, you need very little dating advice help in picking out shoes that are appropriate for a first date. Just don’t wear those GIANT wedgies that make you look wobbly and top heavy. Men think those shoes are really silly.

No, no, no, no, no!

 

Men, you need a lot more help than that when picking out shoes. A typical man will wear the first pair of shoes that he sees in his closet. Since he just wore his ratty old athletic shoes, those are the one he will wear to his first date. 

Guys, these shoes are SO CLOSE to working. But, no.

 

Gentlemen, for the love of God, ask a female friend for advice about which shoes to wear. I know you think this is stupid, but it’s not. Women will notice your shoes. You don’t want to be one of those guys who doesn’t get the girl because he was wearing ugly or stupid shoes.

OK. You’ve got yourself looking good (ladies) and looking just barely good enough (men). Now put a very small amount of perfume or cologne on. You don’t want to smell like the perfume counter at Macy’s. You want a faint, pleasant smell that doesn’t call attention to itself. Men, use about one-tenth the amount that you think you should use. Otherwise you’re going to stink up your first date with the smell of a gay man/wimpy metrosexual, and heterosexual women are not looking for gays or wimps.

Now you’re ready to walk out the door for your first date, but we’ve run out of time here at the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet blog.

Coming up next time: what to talk about and what you should NEVER talk about on a first date.

Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-AgedBabe Magnet and Babe Magnet Rules ofDating Over 50. Both books are available at Amazon.com.

 

 

Advice for a First Anniversary Date

I love it when people ask me for advice about dating and relationships. I love sharing what I learned when I was single, and what I've learned since I got remarried. It makes me feel smart when someone asks for my opinion, and I am happy to help folks find true love--and to help their relationships grow stronger.

The other day a friend of mine (who I will call Hector because that's an awesome name and I've never actually known anyone named Hector) asked me for advice about an upcoming date. This is no ordinary date--it's the anniversary of his first date with Aphrodite, the woman he now loves and adores.

So far so good, right?

First Anniversary Date

Hector said he was planning to take Aphrodite to the same restaurant they went to on their first date. That's a sweet idea, and it's very sentimental in all the right ways. But if that's all he does on his First Anniversary, then Aphrodite is going to be disappointed.

Why? Because she's been there and done that. If Hector wants his woman to be happy, he needs to step it up. He can't do the same exact thing he did last year and expect Aphrodite to be happy with it. That's just not the way women think. If he does the same thing, she will wonder why he isn't trying harder.

(Ladies, if I am wrong about this, please leave a Comment and tell me so. But I'm pretty confident about this.)

Anniversaries Should Be Special

I told Hector the same old restaurant would be a great place to START his first anniversary date--for drinks. Then he should take her to a much fancier place for a romantic dinner. Make a big show about escorting her to the second restaurant--and do not let her know where they are going next. A women loves it when a man takes charge. All she has to do is enjoy the ride.

"But if you insist on going to the same old place for dinner, you need to up the ante by giving her a romantic gift," I told Hector. "You can't go wrong with jewelry."

Hector looked at me with wide eyes. "It sounds like I need to step up my game," he said.

"Bingo," I replied.

Other Dating and Relationships Topics

Let me know if there's a dating and relationships topic that you would like to see me address in a future blog post. I would love to know what issues you're dealing with and I'd love to give you an opinion. Thanks!

I would also like to thank the good folks at The Awesome Gang for the great review they posted about Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by (yours truly) Chad Stone. You can read the review by clicking here: http://awesomegang.com/confessions-of-a-middle-aged-babe-magnet/

Also check out my website at www.middleagedbabemagnet.com. Until next time, this is Chad Stone, the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, signing out.

I Love You, My Little Snookums

Do you have a pet name for your girlfriend? Does your boyfriend have a pet name for you?

If so, you’ve arrived in the Snookums Zone. That’s right, my little CooCoo Butt, Cutie Pie, Honeybunch, Babycakes.

Pet names are as common in relationships as gross-out jokes in Bridesmaids 2. (The movie isn’t out yet, but you can trust me on this, Sweetie.)

But why? Why do we seem to naturally invent cutesy monikers for that special someone in our lives? Pat Love, author of several relationship books including How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It, says pet names create a kind of a boundary around a relationship.

“It’s a way to identify the relationship as exclusive,” says Love. “It’s like an auditory marker.” In other words, when those around you overhear your lovey-dovey conversation, they know you’re committed to each other. (Check out Pat Love’s website here.)

That’s actually pretty cool. The very fact that you have cutesy pet names for each other means that you are in a Relationship, with a capital R. If you’re calling your girlfriend or boyfriend by a pet name, then you better have already pulled your profile from Match.com, let me tell you, Cupcake.

Are there actual benefits derived from using silly, personalized names for our lovers? Apparently, yes. One study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships reported that the more goofy pet names, made-up terms, and covert requests for sexual favors a couple used, the higher their relationship satisfaction tended to be. (Wouldn’t you love to get paid to do a study like that?)

But please, PLEASE, don’t overdue the whole Snookums stuff in front of other people. Pet names are cute to a couple who uses them for each other, but they are so sugary sweet to any other human being that they cause instant diabetic shock and a gagging reflex. (Have you ever noticed how many pet names are variations on sweet things? We’re talking about everything from honey and muffin to sugar and sweet cheeks. It turns out that we humans must really love really sweet foods, and that carries over into the sweet names we give our Cutie Patooties.)

Did you hear what I said, Punkin’ Pie? You’re just so darn cute when you space out and don’t listen to me, aren’t you, my little Goober Lips?

By the way, if you don’t already have a cute pet name for your honey, then check out Pet Name Generator at www.links2love.com/nicknames.htm


This is Chad Stone, the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, signing off. And no, I won’t tell you the pet name that my wife calls me.

What Do Men Want?

As men’s and women’s roles continue to change in our ever-changing world, some things never change. Men are still, on the whole, quite clueless about women. And women, even though they are less clueless, still don’t understand men.

Now that I’ve gotten your attention with the unvarnished, politically incorrect truth, let’s talk about what men want in women.

The following list appeared on www.topdatingtips.com, but I have edited it and made additional comments. OK, here we go!

• Men are looking for a love-interest. Surprised? Ask men what they really want, and they say love, not sex. Men like to love and they like being loved and appreciated in return.

• Men want a woman who is attractive to them. Yes, that seems like (to most women) that men are shallow if looks matter so much. But men aren't necessarily looking for a runway model. The typical man wants a woman who takes pride in her appearance. And men are proud of having a girlfriend who looks good.

• Men are seeking women who are feminine, gentle and kind because those qualities also make a woman a great mother. Not that a typical man needs mothering. But even if they aren’t ready for marriage right now, men seek the attributes in women that point to someone who would make a great mother to future offspring.

• Men appreciate women with a sense of humor. Women often come across as uptight or too bothered by too many small details. Life can be a pain in the… neck, and a healthy sense of humor about life (and yourself) is a great way to make it all more enjoyable. No guy wants to be stuck with an uptight, humorless woman.

• Men are looking for women who retain their femininity. If you’re a woman, don’t try to be “one of the boys.” Men have guy friends for that. Be a woman. Viva la difference!

• Men want someone who is supportive. Many women are quick to criticize men. This is a crucial mistake. The best relationships are mutually supportive, not overly critical.

• Men love a challenging woman, someone who keeps them on their toes. Men are not attracted to passive doormats. A woman who keeps him challenged is invigorating and exciting. (There’s a difference between “challenged” and “threatened” however, so don’t take it too far.) If you want to keep your man interested, keep him challenged with your spunkiness and your ability to keep your man from falling into a rut.

• Men want sex. No big news there, right? But here’s a major difference between men and women: men have sex to bond and fall in love, while women have sex after they have bonded and want to express their love.

• Men are looking for a trustworthy woman. She must be a person they can have faith in and someone who will be there for them.

• Men want to make a home eventually and are looking for a woman who will be a willing partner in home life. A basic level of domestic skills is attractive to most men. (Most men can use a little help in this department.)

• Men want a woman who will commit to them. Men want a girlfriend with whom they can share and trust. This isn’t a one-sided wish, though. Commitment is a two-way street.

• Most men want to get married. Eventually. They want to feel like successful, independent adults first, but ultimately most men DO want to get married. But they have to feel like it’s on their timeline. They don’t like to feel pressured into “tying the knot.” (By the way, I’m pretty sure that the expression “tying the knot” was invented by a man who was feeling pressured into getting married.)

To summarize, a typical man wants a fun-to-be-with, trustworthy, reliable, sexy, single woman with whom he can have a long term relationship.

Now, when it comes right down to it, that’s not much different from the “wish list” of the typical modern woman, is it?

For more ongoing comments about dating and relationships, read my posts on www.datingwithoutdrama.com. Click on Advice from Men and search for the Chad Stone stories.

That's it for now. The Middle-Aged Babe Magnet has left the building.

Why Won’t Men Commit to a Relationship?

A study called “Why Men Won’t Commit: Exploring Young Men’s Attitudes About Sex, Dating and Marriage” examined the state of marriage in America from the male perspective. The study surveyed 60 single men between the ages of 25 to 33 northern New Jersey, Chicago, Washington, D.C. and Houston.

Researchers explored men’s attitudes on sex, dating, meeting women, living together, marrying a soul mate, the timing of marriage, social pressures to marry, divorce, desire for children and more.

According to the study, here are some of the reasons that young men are not committing to marriage:

• They are more willing to live together than marry.
• They can get sex without marriage.
• They want to avoid the financial fall-out of divorce.
• They fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises.
• They want to delay having children.
• They are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children.
• They are waiting for the perfect soul mate.
• They want to enjoy single life as long as they can.
• They want to own a house before they get a wife.

One of the things that this study revealed was that—unlike in earlier decades— there are no big social pressures on men to marry. As a result, men are delaying marriage. In 1960, half of all single men were married by 25 and the rest followed shortly thereafter. Today, the median age of a first marriage for men is 27. For college-educated men, it’s a year or two later—about age 29.

Here in the 21st century, anyone paying attention already knows that women are living with their boyfriends before they decide to get married. That way, both parties can see if they are compatible together. Experts say that half of all these live-in relationships eventually turn into marriages.

I think it is this new trend toward cohabitating that makes it SEEM like men are not willing to commit to a relationship. In fact, they ARE willing to commit to a relationship, it’s just that many men don’t see any benefits in turning their live-in girlfriends into wives. (Like Granddad always said, why buy the cow when you are already getting the milk for free.)

What do you think?