Friday, March 29, 2013

Five dating success tips

Today I want to talk about dating success tips. If there’s one thing that prevents dating success it is the random and casual way that many singles approach dating—and love in general. Let me tell you, a hit-and-miss, unfocussed attitude toward finding the love of your life is NOT a good way to achieve dating success.

What do you do when you start looking for a job? You get organized. You take stock of your strengths. Your resume gets polished up. You think about what kind of job you want. Then, if you’re smart, you will start networking among your friends and business associates. You ask them if they know of any job openings. You search Craigslist for job postings and you check out other websites. You get ready for job interviews. When you get the call for an interview, you venture out to impress potential employers with your job skills and your people skills.

All of these things help ensure your job-seeking success. Why not use the same methodical approach to ensure your dating success? Your search for the love of your life is worth a little preparation and effort, isn’t it?

There is no reason to leave your search for a Significant Other to fate. Be a dating success story by making the search for your new love a top priority in your life. Use the following five dating success tips to make sure you find love.

1. Turn on your dating mind

Get into the dating mindset. Don’t just go through the motions. Be absolutely sure that you really want to date. Now is the time to affirm, “I am ready to find the love of my life!” Decide that you are now going to actively participate in the world of dating, and you are going to enjoy the process. (Please do not be one of those singles who just goes through the motions. Dating is not about killing time; it’s about finding love and companionship.)

2. State your intentions

Not everyone is looking for someone to marry and live with for the rest of their lives. Some singles are not yet ready for a serious commitment. That’s OK. Just get clear about what you want. Greg Behrendt, author of the bestselling book He’s Just Not That Into You, says that in order to find the right lover for you, you have to believe that he or she is actually out there. And that you’ll find them!

This is very similar to making New Year’s resolutions or setting any other kind of goal. Stating your dating intention is the same thing. Be clear that you are ready to find the love of your life. This is also important: know what you want in a romantic partner so you will recognize them when they appear in your life.

3. Turn on your dating success magic

Get your act together if you want to attract love. Turning on your dating success magic is almost like putting on a favorite jacket. When you put on your favorite jacket, you feel better about yourself. You are more confident and more comfortable. This will help you attract the highest quality woman (or man) into your life. Getting your mind into a positive state is an important part of dating success. It also helps to get your body into shape, too. Go to the gym more often. Eat healthier food and get plenty of rest. Getting your healthy glow back will help make you look and feel your best.

4. Watch for opportunities

How many places are there where you could meet someone new? Well, how many places do you go to? The grocery store. Your workplace. The local deli. A coffee shop. Yoga class. Walking down the street. The list is absolutely endless. Get yourself out into the real world and watch for opportunities to meet the love of your life. Strike up friendly conversations. Ask someone out for coffee. When someone asks you out, for heaven’s sake say Yes! Not every date is going to turn out great, but sometimes a so-so date will lead to a party where you’ll meet someone who lights your fire.

5. Welcome the adventure

Dating can be a wonderful adventure. Enjoy the ride! After talking to hundreds of single people—and experiencing dating again after my own divorce, I am convinced that dating success isn’t just about the end result. The happiest single people who are looking for romance are the ones who enjoy the dating process. It’s fun to meet new people. It’s fun to get out of your apartment. If you enjoy the journey, you are more likely to have dating success. If you are having fun along the way, you are actually MORE LIKELY to meet the love of your life.

For more great information about dating and relationships, looking for love and how to find the humor in dating, visit my website at

Friday, March 15, 2013

Middle-Aged Dating and the Gag Reflex

Yeah, I know. Middle-Aged Dating and the Gag Reflex is the weirdest title I’ve ever used for a blog post. But stay with me—it’s not what you think.

The idea for this story about dating over 50 came to me earlier this week at the dentist’s office—which is the first time I ever got an idea for the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet blog while sitting in a dentist’s chair. I was in for my six month cleaning, and it was time to get those “bite xrays” taken. You know the kind—you bite down on this cardboard thing and the dental hygienist runs out of the room so she won’t get zapped with radiation. Then she runs back in and takes the cardboard contraption out of your mouth.

I don’t know about you, but I hate the whole bite xray process. Those cardboard things stick into my gums and make me gag. I have what can be described as a strong gag reflex, and I hate having foreign objects in my mouth.

I know I’m flirting with TMI here, but stay with me. When I told my new dental hygienist about my tendency to gag during the dental xray process, she asked me if I had ever tried salt. She said putting a little salt on your tongue can interrupt the gag reflex.

“Do you have any salt?” I asked. She said yes, and put some on my tongue. Well, Holy New Pontiff from Argentina, the freakin’ salt worked. No more gagging. I’m 58 years old, and somebody just taught me a new trick. From now on, I’ll be putting a little salt on my tongue before I get dental xrays—even if I have to bring my own salt.

I love it when I learn a new trick, and I’m a firm believer in continuing to learn new tricks no matter how old you are. I certainly learned a lot of new things after my mid-life divorce, and a lot of them were about dating, women, and relationships.

In fact, I even wrote a Babe Magnet Rule about that topic that appears in Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet:


Babe Magnets are not afraid to learn new tricks.

One of the things about dating after 50 for a lot of people is being in a situation that’s unfamiliar to them. They’ve probably just gotten divorced, and they’ve forgotten how to go out on a date. They have to relearn the whole courtship process. And sometimes they have to learn new things—such as online dating.
If you’re not willing to learn new things, you’re going to crash and burn in the dating world. You’re going to approach dating as if it were 1983, and you’re going to look and act like a doofus. (This is equally true for both men and women.)

The best thing you can do is to be open to learning new things. Read books about dating. Talk to your single friends. Talk to your recently married friends, and find out what worked for them when they were single. Be open to new ideas and trying new things.

Dating over 40, or dating over 50, or dating at any age can be a time of new growth and new learning. Please don’t be one of those people who says, “dating over 50 is so hard” or “there aren’t any interesting women” or “all of the good men are already taken.” None of those things are true—and there are millions of later-in-life relationships to prove it.

So, learn something new. Try something you’ve never done before. Even if that means putting a little salt on your tongue.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Best Senior Dating Sites

I just found out about a great website for folks who aren't afraid to proudly claim that they are old enough to be "seniors." I'm not sure what the age requirement is for seniorhood-- AARP says 50, my local movie theater says 62, and most people think of 65 as retirement age.You decide.

Anyway, the site is Visit the homepage and you'll see a roundup of the 25 best dating sites for seniors. Delve a little deeper by clicking on one of the Latest Posts links (on the left side of the Home page) and you can read some great stories.

I liked Top 100 Senior Dating, Relationship and Lifestyle Blogs. The Top 100 list includes blogs that cover Dating and Relationship Advice, Travel, Fitness, Lifestyle, and Fashion. Evidently, Joe Atkins, webmaster and editor of couldn't just stop at 100 blogs to list. He's added another section-- and the current Top 100 list (as of this writing) now includes 108 top senior dating and relationship blogs.

Now, those of you who are regular readers of this blog and my book site,, know that I cover all kinds of dating and relationship topics--including dating after divorce, dating over 50,  and dating advice for people of all ages. This blog isn't just for people who are "seniors." But one of the things I discovered in my dating after divorce and dating over 50 life is that so much of good dating advice transcends a person's age.

Take Babe Magnet Rule #87: Be a gentleman.There are so few gentlemen left in the world these days, and being one is a great way to set yourself apart from all of the jerks that women have been dating. That's good advice no matter how old you are-- whether you're in your 20s or you are dating over 50.(By the way, that Babe Magnet Rule is from Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet.)

So, I hope this blog gets mentioned on the best senior dating sites website. After all, I AM a member of AARP already--although I'm not yet old enough to get the senior discount at the movie theater.

Chad Stone, the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, has left the building.