Sometimes the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet gets emails. Here's a recent one:
Dear Love Doctor:
There's that old sage about "third date sex." What do you think of
that? I know you were talking about being puzzled because you were on, like,
a 5th date and you hadn't had sex yet.
And (okay, I blush here, but I really do wanna know) but is it weird for
grownups to make out and with some pleasant groping and perhaps bare some
flesh on the second date or so and NOT go all the way? Or is it like college
and okay--you wanna do as much as possible but aren't ready to commit to sex
You seem to be the one sane straight male who I'm not dating that I can talk
to about this.
Wondering About Grown-up Sex in Nebraska
Dear Wondering About Sex:
Of course you're wondering about sex in Nebraska, since the average Nebraskan only has sex three times a year-- birthday, Valentine's Day and "Honey Got a Little Tipsy Day" (which is a random day that changes every year).
I used to think third-date sex was pretty standard for liberal, open-minded adults. Now I don't think there is a standard. It's all over the map.
I met somebody in a bar two weeks ago and went home with her that night. On the other hand, I just had date #8 (I think, maybe it was 7) with a Middle-Aged Babe I will call Marie-- and no sex. There isn't any rule. It seems to be different for everyone.
I can tell you from personal experience that some women seem to want to work up to sex. Date 2 might be passionate kissing. Date 3 might be passionate kissing and heavy above-the-waist fondling (sometimes with above-the-waist clothing removed). Date 4 might be below-the-belt fondling and playing. Date 5 might be naked intercourse (hooray!). There is nothing wrong with working up to The Big One. In fact, it can be fun. The anticipation can be delicious.
I hope that answers your questions. If not, please as a more specific follow-up question and The Love Doctor/Middle-Aged Babe Magnet will be happy to answer it.