Let’s take a little poll right now. Raise your hands if you’re single, and you’d love to attract the perfect man or woman into your life.
That’s a lot of hands, and that’s exactly what I expected to see. If you’re single, and you haven’t totally given up on the whole dating thing (or even the belief that “I know he/she is out there, and I know we’ll meet each other when the time is right”), then you are one of those people who would be delighted to welcome a perfect lover into your life.
Which brings me to today’s topic. I’m on a lot of email lists to receive information about dating and relationships, because as an author of a book on dating, I want to see what’s being said on the topic. I recently received an email that promises to make any man an irresistible sexual animal. It begins:
What if you could SAY and DO a few simple things to automatically, helplessly, irresistibly bring out the "SEXUAL ANIMAL" in ANY WOMAN YOU WANTED?
Well, get this:
You CAN--and once you know how to do it, you can take ANY woman from "just friends" to "take me home now" in a HEARTBEAT!!!
FACT IS, learn the simple secrets of what I call "Power Sexuality," and the women you dream about will start FANTASIZING ABOUT *YOU*!
Learn how to "turn on" your "Power Sexuality" right here:
Ha! I added the link to my own website to see if you were paying attention. But the rest of the quote above has not been changed at all.
This “one solution fits all” approach to dating is NOT what I’m about, even though I do offer 92 Babe Magnet Rules throughout the pages of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. What I do believe is that there are many basic things that work for the majority of single men and women, but I would never tell you that there’s ONE MAGIC THING THAT WILL MAKE A WOMAN WANT YOU RIGHT NOW.
But lots of folks are looking for the easy solutions—whether it’s the one perfect thing to say or the one perfect thing to wear or the one perfect rule to follow.
The truth is, the key to dating success—whether you are a man or a woman, is to be yourself. And by that I mean, be the very best version of you that you can be. Guys, sometimes that means getting rid of all those grunge-rock flannels in your wardrobe. (Why? Because women love it when you look like you care about your appearance.)
Women, sometimes that means smiling more and wearing something besides your favorite sweats. (Why? Because men love it when you care enough about your appearance to look your best.)
Now, I’m sure that there’s some value in almost every dating advice book or dating advice package that’s out there. But please don’t think there’s one golden answer or one magic system that will suddenly take you from dweeb to Brad Pitt.
Besides, there’s already one Brad Pitt in the world. What the world really needs is exactly what the very best version of you has to offer.
This is Chad Stone, signing off for now.