Five dating success tips

Today I want to talk about dating success tips. If there’s one thing that prevents dating success it is the random and casual way that many singles approach dating—and love in general. Let me tell you, a hit-and-miss, unfocussed attitude toward finding the love of your life is NOT a good way to achieve dating success.

What do you do when you start looking for a job? You get organized. You take stock of your strengths. Your resume gets polished up. You think about what kind of job you want. Then, if you’re smart, you will start networking among your friends and business associates. You ask them if they know of any job openings. You search Craigslist for job postings and you check out other websites. You get ready for job interviews. When you get the call for an interview, you venture out to impress potential employers with your job skills and your people skills.

All of these things help ensure your job-seeking success. Why not use the same methodical approach to ensure your dating success? Your search for the love of your life is worth a little preparation and effort, isn’t it?

There is no reason to leave your search for a Significant Other to fate. Be a dating success story by making the search for your new love a top priority in your life. Use the following five dating success tips to make sure you find love.

1. Turn on your dating mind

Get into the dating mindset. Don’t just go through the motions. Be absolutely sure that you really want to date. Now is the time to affirm, “I am ready to find the love of my life!” Decide that you are now going to actively participate in the world of dating, and you are going to enjoy the process. (Please do not be one of those singles who just goes through the motions. Dating is not about killing time; it’s about finding love and companionship.)

2. State your intentions

Not everyone is looking for someone to marry and live with for the rest of their lives. Some singles are not yet ready for a serious commitment. That’s OK. Just get clear about what you want. Greg Behrendt, author of the bestselling book He’s Just Not That Into You, says that in order to find the right lover for you, you have to believe that he or she is actually out there. And that you’ll find them!

This is very similar to making New Year’s resolutions or setting any other kind of goal. Stating your dating intention is the same thing. Be clear that you are ready to find the love of your life. This is also important: know what you want in a romantic partner so you will recognize them when they appear in your life.

3. Turn on your dating success magic

Get your act together if you want to attract love. Turning on your dating success magic is almost like putting on a favorite jacket. When you put on your favorite jacket, you feel better about yourself. You are more confident and more comfortable. This will help you attract the highest quality woman (or man) into your life. Getting your mind into a positive state is an important part of dating success. It also helps to get your body into shape, too. Go to the gym more often. Eat healthier food and get plenty of rest. Getting your healthy glow back will help make you look and feel your best.

4. Watch for opportunities

How many places are there where you could meet someone new? Well, how many places do you go to? The grocery store. Your workplace. The local deli. A coffee shop. Yoga class. Walking down the street. The list is absolutely endless. Get yourself out into the real world and watch for opportunities to meet the love of your life. Strike up friendly conversations. Ask someone out for coffee. When someone asks you out, for heaven’s sake say Yes! Not every date is going to turn out great, but sometimes a so-so date will lead to a party where you’ll meet someone who lights your fire.

5. Welcome the adventure

Dating can be a wonderful adventure. Enjoy the ride! After talking to hundreds of single people—and experiencing dating again after my own divorce, I am convinced that dating success isn’t just about the end result. The happiest single people who are looking for romance are the ones who enjoy the dating process. It’s fun to meet new people. It’s fun to get out of your apartment. If you enjoy the journey, you are more likely to have dating success. If you are having fun along the way, you are actually MORE LIKELY to meet the love of your life.


For more great information about dating and relationships, looking for love and how to find the humor in dating, visit my website at www.middleagedbabemagnet.com.

The Worst Pickup Lines Ever



Do pickup lines really work?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
The key is in the delivery.

 I’ve been having fun looking for the worst pickup lines ever. You know how guys are always looking for the magic words that will open a woman’s heart—or at least get her to talk to him?

Well, there are some bad lines out there. I’m talking about really bad lines.

Groaners. Lines that are downright embarrassing. Lines that no human being should utter.

Ever.

How bad? Well, check out the pickup lines below.

The Best of the Bad Pickup Lines

(In other words, these are really bad.)

Is this your first time on this planet?

I know you’re a complete stranger, but I’d gladly waste one of my Spotify invitations on you. Give me your number and I’ll throw in a Google+ invite. I’d put you in my ‘Babe’ Circle.

As of now, my mother doesn’t have a Facebook account so, if we were to take this thing to the next level, you wouldn’t have to worry about rejecting her inappropriate Family Request.

You must be low density lipoprotein cholesterol because you just stopped my heart.

Does your skin feel burnt? Because I think you must have just fallen down from heaven, and the friction during re-entry must have been really high.
Should I call you for breakfast or just nudge you?

'Are you from Jamaica? Because Jamaican me crazy.

Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.

Can I borrow a quarter? My mom told me to call home when I fell in love.

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.

You're like a compass: without you, I'd be lost.

Are your pants made of Windex? Cause, baby, I can see myself in them.

I hope you know CPR, baby, cause when you walked into the room, my heart stopped beating.

I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.

Am I dead? Because I think I just met an angel.

I'd appreciate it if you started treating me like a sex object.

Are you a Kleptomaniac? Because you just stole my heart.

Bad Pickup Lines That Might Actually Work

Hi. My name is Windows. Can I crash at your place?

How about we slip into something more comfortable... like some Star Trek Voyager pajamas at my apartment!

I wish I was your math homework because then I'd be hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.

Haven't we met in World of Warcraft?

Hi. Is your name Google? Because you have everything that I am searching for.

No matter how many times I travel back in time to this moment I always get nervous about talking to you

I'd bet you dinner that you won't go to dinner with me.

I'm an organ donor. Need anything?


-------------
Thanks to the users of Quora.com for most of these horrible pickup lines! If you’d like to read more about pickup lines—and why they sometimes work and sometime don’t—get a copy of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone. You can also visit my website at www.middleagedbabemagnet.com.

Author Chad Stone Talks About and Signs His New Dating Memoir

Book Talk and Signing

I am happy to be talking about Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet and signing books tomorrow in Albuquerque. I have been invited to appear at one of the best independent bookstores in the West, Page One Bookstore, to give a talk and sign copies of my book.

I will start by reading a few passages from the book, which is a good way to introduce the story and my unique perspective on dating and finding love. Then I will open it up to questions so people can learn more about my experiences and whether the book has a happy ending.

Dating After Divorce

One of the questions I'm sure that will be asked is, "Why did you write a book about daving after divorce?" One of the reasons I wrote Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet was because there weren't any books written from the male perspective that dealt with both the highs and lows of the single life. No one had told the story about what it's like to be a single man in the 21st century who is looking for the last love of his life.

I wanted to write a book that talked honestly about these things:

-- What do men want?
-- What do women want?
-- Do men and women want basically the same things?
-- What is it like in the "Dating Over 50" world?
-- Can you find true love at any ages?
-- Sex and the single adult
-- Tips for online dating
-- What skills are necessary to win and woo a woman
-- What are men thinking-- really?

To help promote my book signing event, I appeared on the Good Day New Mexico TV show on Friday. You can watch the clip here: Chad Stone on TV

So if you can make it to Page One Bookstore on Sunday, Oct. 28 at 2:30 pm, please come by!

Author Chad Stone talks about his book about dating, "Confessions of a Middle Aged Babe Magnet"

Chad Stone
Book signing and discussion
"Confessions of a Middle Aged Babe Magnet"
October 28 at 2:30 p.m.

Page One Bookstore
11018 Montgomery Blvd NE
Albuquerque, NM

The Best Dating and Relationship Advice Ever

There’s a lot of wisdom on the Internet, if you know where to find it. Whenever I find a great piece of advice about finding love or how to have a great relationship, I try to pass it along.

Here’s a round-up of great dating and relationship advice that I am delighted to share with you. This might even be the best dating advice ever!

The Best Dating Advice from Mom
My mother says nothing good happens after 11 p.m. That was a good one. If he’s calling you for an 11:15 p.m. booty call, or telling you “I have dinner with my clients … won’t be back till 11:45,” — no, not happening. Also, always leave him wanting more.

  --Patti Stanger, “The Millionaire Matchmaker”

Tell People You’re Single

“A lot of times, people don’t know that you want to be set up,” said Amy Laurent, a dating expert. “If you’re really going to do this (being successful at finding love), bring it up to people and say, ‘I’m ready to put myself out there and start dating.’” Get the word out and make it official, she advises. “You never know where opportunities are going to come up.”
  --Amy Laurent, author of 8 Weeks to Everlasting: How to Get (and Keep) the Guy You Want

 

Five Things to Remember About Dating
1. It’s supposed to be fun! Just relax and enjoy! Stay present and enjoy your date’s company.
2. It’s not about your date’s inadequacies, it’s about what you have in common
3. Cut your date some slack. Nobody’s perfect, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have something to offer.
 4. Dating should be easy. It you’re with someone that it doesn’t flow with, it’s probably not the right person.
5. The more open you are, the more possibilities, choices and options await you.
  -- http://thedatingadvicegirl.com

 

Advice for Women: Compliment Him
“If a woman says that her dish is, for example, too salty, she will think nothing of talking negatively about the food, or even extend the conversation about why the kitchen staff is not more careful in their use of spices. If it were two women sharing an evening out, complaining about the food or service is perfectly fine, because talking about problems is a bonding experience on Venus.  However on Mars, men tie their egos to the choices they make. This is never truer than in the case of a restaurant that they have chosen. Now if on the other hand, a woman says, “Wow this place is a real find! I love the way they do their chicken….” In a man’s mind, he’s scored major points. It’s as if he went into the kitchen and cooked that meal himself.”

  -- John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

 

Advice for Men: Cultivate Your Confidence
“When I am asked, ‘What is the single most important tip for men when they want to meet the woman of their dreams?’ I always quote my own Babe Magnet Rule #14: Babe Magnets are confident and sure of themselves. Even if they have to fake it. That doesn’t mean a man should be conceited and all full of himself. But women are attracted to a man who has quiet confidence and is comfortable in his own skin.”

-- Chad Stone, author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, www.middleagedbabemagnet.com

 

What Love Is
“Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.”
  -- Source Unknown
 

Take Your Breath Away

“In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.”
 -- Shing Xiong

 

Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, available from www.amazon.com.

 

If you like this post, please send a link to your friends!

 

 

 

How to Attract Any Woman

Let’s take a little poll right now. Raise your hands if you’re single, and you’d love to attract the perfect man or woman into your life.


That’s a lot of hands, and that’s exactly what I expected to see. If you’re single, and you haven’t totally given up on the whole dating thing (or even the belief that “I know he/she is out there, and I know we’ll meet each other when the time is right”), then you are one of those people who would be delighted to welcome a perfect lover into your life.

Which brings me to today’s topic. I’m on a lot of email lists to receive information about dating and relationships, because as an author of a book on dating, I want to see what’s being said on the topic. I recently received an email that promises to make any man an irresistible sexual animal. It begins:

IMAGINE THIS:

What if you could SAY and DO a few simple things to automatically, helplessly, irresistibly bring out the "SEXUAL ANIMAL" in ANY WOMAN YOU WANTED?

Well, get this:

You CAN--and once you know how to do it, you can take ANY woman from "just friends" to "take me home now" in a HEARTBEAT!!!

FACT IS, learn the simple secrets of what I call "Power Sexuality," and the women you dream about will start FANTASIZING ABOUT *YOU*!

Learn how to "turn on" your "Power Sexuality" right here:

www.middleagedbabemagnet.com



Ha! I added the link to my own website to see if you were paying attention. But the rest of the quote above has not been changed at all.

This “one solution fits all” approach to dating is NOT what I’m about, even though I do offer 92 Babe Magnet Rules throughout the pages of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. What I do believe is that there are many basic things that work for the majority of single men and women, but I would never tell you that there’s ONE MAGIC THING THAT WILL MAKE A WOMAN WANT YOU RIGHT NOW.

But lots of folks are looking for the easy solutions—whether it’s the one perfect thing to say or the one perfect thing to wear or the one perfect rule to follow.

The truth is, the key to dating success—whether you are a man or a woman, is to be yourself. And by that I mean, be the very best version of you that you can be. Guys, sometimes that means getting rid of all those grunge-rock flannels in your wardrobe. (Why? Because women love it when you look like you care about your appearance.)

Women, sometimes that means smiling more and wearing something besides your favorite sweats. (Why? Because men love it when you care enough about your appearance to look your best.)

Now, I’m sure that there’s some value in almost every dating advice book or dating advice package that’s out there. But please don’t think there’s one golden answer or one magic system that will suddenly take you from dweeb to Brad Pitt.

Besides, there’s already one Brad Pitt in the world. What the world really needs is exactly what the very best version of you has to offer.

This is Chad Stone, signing off for now.

 

When It’s Time to Say Goodbye

Relationships are wonderful. Right? Isn’t that why we all love to be paired up with someone special? Isn’t that why millions of us who aren’t in relationships spend billions of dollars on online dating services like match.com and other matchmaking services? Isn’t that why we agonize about the relationships we’re in when things aren’t going well?



The short answer is “Yes.”



But unfortunately, sometimes relationships run their course. Some romantic relationships aren’t built to last. Or maybe they could have lasted, but we choose to give up on them instead.



So, when is the right time to end a relationship?



That’s what Mitchelon Humperdickfrankenfurter (not his real name) recently asked himself. He had been seeing Jennifer Lopez (the singer, but not the famous one) for nearly a year. Their lives had become comfortably enmeshed. They spent weekends together. They saw each other during the week. They had meet each others’ kids and parents. They were a couple.



In the past week, they became uncoupled. It was Mitch who decided it was time. He and Jenn had gone to Barbados together for 10 days in the tropics. But the trip was not all bliss, and it was clear to Mitch that his relationship with Jenn was stuck.



When I asked Mitch why he decided to have the dreaded “breakup talk” with Jenn, he said it was all about passion. He wasn’t feeling the heat, the passion in the relationship that he wanted. Sure, Jenn was nice, level-headed and dependable—but there weren’t any sparks in their relationship.



What Mitch also admitted was that there weren’t many sparks in the relationship even in the beginning—when you expect them the most. Mitch was hoping that the chemistry between them would erupt into flames over time, but that never happened.



When they got back from their vacation, he broke the news gently to Jenn. It turns out, she was feeling the same way. She wasn’t feeling any sparks for Mitch, either. So the good news was, the feelings (or lack thereof) were mutual. They collected their respective possessions from their respective houses, and they split as amicably as possible.



When is the right time to end a relationship? For Mitch and Jenn, it was when their hearts told them that they wanted more. They wanted more passion, and they were no longer to settle for anything less.



I wish them both nothing but the best, and I hope they both find lots of passion in their next relationships.

-- Chad Stone
----- For more thoughts on relationships and breakups, read my book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. And check out my web page at www.middleagedbabemagnet.com.

Why don’t women understand men?

Why don’t women understand men? Is it because men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, as author John Gray says?




Well, sort of.



Men and women ARE hardwired differently, so men behave like men, and women behave like women. And one dramatic difference in this hardwiring is that women seem to be a lot more interested in understanding men than men are in understanding women.



Why do I say this? I got myself on an email list that offers a steady stream of dating advice for women. Along with that is a steady stream of free advice is a steady stream of offers to buy “foolproof” guides that contain magical secrets to finding men, getting them to fall in love with you and getting them to commit to you forever and ever, amen.



Here are just some of the phrases that are used in these sales pitches”



“understand any man”

“learn how to say the words that will get him to commit”

“the ultimate guide to the male mind”

“overcome frustrations with men”

“connect with a man on a deep emotional level”

“what you should never say to a man”

“the secret to getting him to love you for who you are”

“touch the primal part of his mind”

“miraculous results”

“relationships are the only source of true happiness”



Based upon the phrases used in these sales pitches, women are frustrated by men, and they want desperately to understand men. They want expert dating advice, and they are willing to pay for it. One guide that offers information about “The Respect Principle” is just 31 pages long and sells for $47. (By the way, the Respect Principle says that men would rather be respected than loved, which is, by and large, true for the majority of men.)



So women are willing to spend $47 for a short guide that helps them understand men, while men are content with $10 books that tell them how to pick up women.



Let me tell you a little secret. Men and women will never fully understand each other. Never. But that’s OK, because the differences in the sexes is what makes relationships so deliciously wonderful when they work. But the key to any relationship—and the key to understanding as much as you can about the opposite sex—is communication.



Talk to each other. Tell her what you want. Ask him how he wants to be treated. Tell her how you feel. Share with him what you love about him. Why? Because communication is the key to relationship happiness.



This is Chad Stone, author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, signing off.

You Gotta Believe It Before You See It

Some people just don't get it, bless their hearts. This is the story of someone who gets it, and someone who doesn't.

My friend, Craig, was having a drink with a mutual friend at a restaurant/bar. I'm going to call this other guy Dufus Dipstick, for reasons that will soon become obvious. Craig and Dufus are sitting in the lounge area of the bar, and Craig notices that an attractive blonde woman is looking at him. He smiles at her, and she smiles back. So he does the friendly, manly thing and walks over to say hello to her.

Her name is Susan, and she and Craig start having an animated conversation. The vibes are good. Craig includes Susan's friend in the conversation, and he finds out the friend is a teacher, just like Dufus. So Craig invites Dufus over to join the conversation.

What does Dufus do? Instead of talking with the teacher, he tries to chat up Susan. WTF? thinks Craig. Why is he talking to Susan? That's not how this whole "talking to women in a bar" thing works. Craig is supposed to talk to Susan, since there's obviously a real attraction there, and Dufus is supposed to talk to Susan's friend, since the two of them have something in common.

But no, Dufus doesn't pay hardly any attention to Susan's friend, and that ruins the whole dynamic. After Craig and Dufus leave the bar (without getting any phone numbers, because the vibe was gone by then), Craig turns to Dufus and says, "What's the matter with you? That woman was really interested in you, and you hardly talked to her."

"No she wasn't," replied Dufus.

"Of course she was," said Craig. "She wanted to talk to you about teaching, and you ignored her. You could have left with her phone number."

"She wasn't interested in me at all," said Dufus. And there was nothing Craig could say to convince him otherwise. Dufus didn't see it because he didn't believe it.

That incident is a perfect example of Babe Magnet Rule #1 from my book (Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone): To be a Babe Magnet, you must believe you are a Babe Magnet. Dufus is going to continue to travel through life single, without the companionship of a compatible woman, because he doesn't believe that women are interested in him. Craig, on the other hand, fully believes that women are attracted to him, and his experience reinforces that belief.

If only Craig could convince Dufus that there's a perfect woman waiting for him (Dufus), then Dufus would soon experience that reality. But there's no way to change someone else's mind unless they are willing to change.

Dufus, like so many of us, has it backwards. He thinks, "I'll believe it when I see it." Instead, he should work on believing it--then he'll see it. That's the way that dating--and life--works.

In future posts I'll cover more of the Babe Magnet Rules from Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet.

Thanks for reading, and tell a friend!

Is He Ready for a Relationship?

One of the things about dating that we have very little control over is timing. When you meet someone who seems like the perfect romantic partner for you, are you at a point in your life when you ready for him? When he meets you, is he ready to begin a new relationship?

Determining whether you are both ready to begin a relationship is one of the most important things to discover during the first few dates.

When Ralph met Candace, he was quite sure that HE was ready. He had been divorced for three years, and he had done quite a bit of dating. He had sowed a few wild oats, and he was ready to settle down.

Ralph was instantly attracted to Candace and she seemed to share his feelings. He saw in Candace everything he wanted in a mate—kindness, a successful career, physical beauty and common interests. But she spent most of their first date telling him the details of her divorce.

Candace and her ex-husband had been devastated by the death of their only child, and their marriage was on the rocks. At her suggestion, they started going to meetings at a local spiritual center. As it turned out, she didn’t care for it, but he embraced it. He started attending the meetings regularly, and then he started meditating. He stopped drinking. “We were getting along better than we had in years,” she said.

Then he took her completely by surprise when he announced that he wanted a divorce. “I laughed out loud because I thought he was kidding,” she said. But he was serious.

Before the end of their first date together, Ralph had the “aha” moment: Candace wasn’t ready for a relationship with him. She wasn’t ready for a relationship with ANYONE. She was still heartbroken, and she needed more time to heal.

Chances are that you’ve also had an “aha” moment during a date when you knew that the person on the other side of the table wasn’t going to be the one you’ve been looking for. The sooner you can find that out, the better. Ralph counts himself lucky for finding it out on date one with Candace.

When a man isn’t ready to commit to a relationship, he will be hard to pin down. When you ask him direct questions about things like his schedule or his goals for the future, he will respond with vague answers or deftly change the subject.

One of the big mistakes that women make is trying to coax men into discussions about relationships and commitment. These are important topics, and women want to talk about them. Men, however, would rather volunteer for a root canal.

Here’s the key, ladies: Men only commit when they think it’s THEIR IDEA. Yes, you can express how important a committed relationship is to you, and how you like to shower your man with love and adoration when you feel the safety and security that a long-term relationship offers. But if you push too hard and too soon for a commitment, he will run away like a man fleeing from a burning dynamite factory.

So maybe the question isn’t, “Is he ready for a relationship?” Maybe the real question is, “Can you wait until he is ready for a relationship?” If you can’t, then you might be happier if you moved on.

If you're ready to read something about the lighter side of dating, have a look at my new book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone. It's available from amazon.com.

What Do Singles Think About Sex and Marriage?

Single people across America have spoken, and they don’t all want to get married. The recently released Singles in America survey asked 5,541 single adults in the USA aged 21 and over about their dating habits, sexual habits and opinions about marriage.

And the survey said…

When asked, “Do you want to get married?,” 27.0 percent said No, 38.6 percent weren’t sure, and 34 percent said Yes. That’s not exactly an overwhelming vote for the institution of marriage. But it’s not a total surprise, either.

Society’s rigid beliefs about the necessity of marriage (especially the need for marriage before having sex) have softened considerably since the dawn of the Sexual Revolution in the 1960s. With the social stigma of cohabitating largely removed, many single adults—especially younger ones—are simply choosing to live together without the formality of a marriage license. Even so, the majority of younger single adults still see marriage in their futures. Among singles aged 21 to 39, 62 percent of women and 56 percent of men want to eventually get married.

So what are singles looking for in a long-term romantic partner? 13 percent of women and 7 percent of men said they “must have” a partner of the same religion. 36 percent of women and 13 percent of men must have someone who makes as much money as they do.

What were the top “deal breakers” in a possible romantic partner? In order of importance: 67 percent said having a disheveled or unclean appearance, 66 percent said laziness, 63 percent said being too needy, 54 percent said having no sense of humor, and 49 percent said living more than three hours apart. (That’s really bad news for lazy slobs who need constant reassurance, don’t think Modern Family is the funniest show on TV and live far, far way.)

The Singles in America survey also revealed that first dates are often highly sexual. More than half (55 percent) of singles said they have had sex on the first date (66 percent of men and 44 percent of women). Some experts say that the popularity of online dating is partly responsible for sexy first dates. But the time they have a first physical date, many online dating singles have exchanged plenty of emails and talked often on the phone, which may be the equivalent of three dates. So by the time they meet in person, all of this online sharing can result in highly sexually charged first dates.

And yes, online dating is a force to be reckoned with. According to the survey, 21 percent of singles met the last person they dated online—the most common way of meeting cited in the survey.

So are there any surprises in the survey results for you? What’s the biggest relationship deal-breaker for you? And what is the number one Must Have in your next significant other?

Please leave a comment, and I will share some additional thoughts about dating must-haves and deal breakers in a future post on the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet blog. Until then, this is Chad Stone, signing off.

p.s. Also check out my Advice for Men posts on www.datingwithoutdrama.com

What Do Men Want?

As men’s and women’s roles continue to change in our ever-changing world, some things never change. Men are still, on the whole, quite clueless about women. And women, even though they are less clueless, still don’t understand men.

Now that I’ve gotten your attention with the unvarnished, politically incorrect truth, let’s talk about what men want in women.

The following list appeared on www.topdatingtips.com, but I have edited it and made additional comments. OK, here we go!

• Men are looking for a love-interest. Surprised? Ask men what they really want, and they say love, not sex. Men like to love and they like being loved and appreciated in return.

• Men want a woman who is attractive to them. Yes, that seems like (to most women) that men are shallow if looks matter so much. But men aren't necessarily looking for a runway model. The typical man wants a woman who takes pride in her appearance. And men are proud of having a girlfriend who looks good.

• Men are seeking women who are feminine, gentle and kind because those qualities also make a woman a great mother. Not that a typical man needs mothering. But even if they aren’t ready for marriage right now, men seek the attributes in women that point to someone who would make a great mother to future offspring.

• Men appreciate women with a sense of humor. Women often come across as uptight or too bothered by too many small details. Life can be a pain in the… neck, and a healthy sense of humor about life (and yourself) is a great way to make it all more enjoyable. No guy wants to be stuck with an uptight, humorless woman.

• Men are looking for women who retain their femininity. If you’re a woman, don’t try to be “one of the boys.” Men have guy friends for that. Be a woman. Viva la difference!

• Men want someone who is supportive. Many women are quick to criticize men. This is a crucial mistake. The best relationships are mutually supportive, not overly critical.

• Men love a challenging woman, someone who keeps them on their toes. Men are not attracted to passive doormats. A woman who keeps him challenged is invigorating and exciting. (There’s a difference between “challenged” and “threatened” however, so don’t take it too far.) If you want to keep your man interested, keep him challenged with your spunkiness and your ability to keep your man from falling into a rut.

• Men want sex. No big news there, right? But here’s a major difference between men and women: men have sex to bond and fall in love, while women have sex after they have bonded and want to express their love.

• Men are looking for a trustworthy woman. She must be a person they can have faith in and someone who will be there for them.

• Men want to make a home eventually and are looking for a woman who will be a willing partner in home life. A basic level of domestic skills is attractive to most men. (Most men can use a little help in this department.)

• Men want a woman who will commit to them. Men want a girlfriend with whom they can share and trust. This isn’t a one-sided wish, though. Commitment is a two-way street.

• Most men want to get married. Eventually. They want to feel like successful, independent adults first, but ultimately most men DO want to get married. But they have to feel like it’s on their timeline. They don’t like to feel pressured into “tying the knot.” (By the way, I’m pretty sure that the expression “tying the knot” was invented by a man who was feeling pressured into getting married.)

To summarize, a typical man wants a fun-to-be-with, trustworthy, reliable, sexy, single woman with whom he can have a long term relationship.

Now, when it comes right down to it, that’s not much different from the “wish list” of the typical modern woman, is it?

For more ongoing comments about dating and relationships, read my posts on www.datingwithoutdrama.com. Click on Advice from Men and search for the Chad Stone stories.

That's it for now. The Middle-Aged Babe Magnet has left the building.

Dating Success Story!

Good news, fellow daters. I am now a dating success story. My wonderful girlfriend (who I met on match.com) has agreed to marry me! So you can now call me a dating success story.

Consequently, I am now going to change the focus of this blog. I am going to share some insights on the dating process. I am going to share what worked for me--and what has worked for others. I am going to explore the adventure of middle-aged dating from the perspective of how to succeed.

My goal in dating (online or otherwise) was always to find the love of my life. I assume that your goal is also to find the love of your life. So feel free to ask questions. Feel free to make comments. I will try to pass along my dating wisdom, my relationship advice, and whatever words of encouragement that I can provide. Not that I know everything. But I have learned a few things about male-female relationships, and I'm a very good listener.

Remember always that life is an adventure. There is humor to be found throughout our adventures. Just keep your eyes open, your heart open, and look for the best in people. If you look for love, you will find it.