A Healthy Woman is a Happy Woman

A healthy relationship is based on a lot of different factors. One of the factors that tends to get overlooked is physical health. It’s very difficult to have a truly healthy relationship if you’re not physically healthy. If you feel like crap, your relationship is bound to suffer.


So, in the interest of good health, I want to pass along some great tips from a recent story in Parade magazine by Kalee Thompson. Ms. Thompson’s “Stay Healthy” story features a quiz about women’s health. So ladies, this info is right on target for you. And guys, take the advice that applies to both genders, and pass along the other tips to a woman you love. Here goes:

What Makes A Healthy Woman
Question #1: What’s the best thing you can do to improve your health?

a. Eat only organic veggies and fruits
b. Play a sport that you love
c. Stop paying attention to politics and anyone running for political office
d. Have more sex

The answer is b. Regular exercise is good for your body and mind in so many ways. It reduces the risk of diabetes and heart disease. It strengthens your muscles and bones. It reduces stress. Personally, I think having sex counts as playing a sport you love. But that’s just my opinion—I’m not a scientist.

Question #2: A woman’s happiness in a relationship is most closely correlated to:

a. How often her partner gives her compliments
b. How often her partner prepares dinner
c. How well her partner can sense if she is upset
d. How often she has sex with her partner

The answer is c. A man contributes greatly to a woman’s happiness when he is in tune with her moods. That doesn’t mean he takes a quick read of her mood, and sensing that she is stormy with a chance of rain, finds a reason to go to the sports bar to watch a game—any game. No, gentlemen, let her talk and keep your mouth shut. She needs to vent. And ladies, here’s a tip for you. A man is much more likely to feel satisfied in his relationship if his woman tells him when she’s happy. I’ve said this before, and I’ll keep saying it: a man wants a woman he can please. He needs to know when his romantic partner is happy and content. He lives for that.

Question #3: Name the fruit that has been shown to keep a woman’s brain young.

a. Berries
b. Apples
c. Kiwi
d. That guy from the Bravo channel

The answer is a. The really smart men and women at Harvard University researched this topic with a test group of 16,000 subjects. They found that strawberries and blueberries made women’s brains 2.5 years younger than those of non-berry eaters and viewers of the Bravo network.

What Makes a Woman Happy

Here’s another factoid that could win you a bet or two. Chocoholics actually weigh less than women who rarely eat chocolate. Why? Perhaps chocolate turns up your metabolism. Or it could just be that the researchers “fudged” the results. Get it? Ha! Fudged the results.

Sometimes I crack myself up. Hey—know what else improves a woman’s health (and a man’s, too)? Laughter! You can look it up.

This is Chad Stone, Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, leaving the building before he wears out his welcome.

The Best Dating and Relationship Advice Ever

There’s a lot of wisdom on the Internet, if you know where to find it. Whenever I find a great piece of advice about finding love or how to have a great relationship, I try to pass it along.

Here’s a round-up of great dating and relationship advice that I am delighted to share with you. This might even be the best dating advice ever!

The Best Dating Advice from Mom
My mother says nothing good happens after 11 p.m. That was a good one. If he’s calling you for an 11:15 p.m. booty call, or telling you “I have dinner with my clients … won’t be back till 11:45,” — no, not happening. Also, always leave him wanting more.

  --Patti Stanger, “The Millionaire Matchmaker”

Tell People You’re Single

“A lot of times, people don’t know that you want to be set up,” said Amy Laurent, a dating expert. “If you’re really going to do this (being successful at finding love), bring it up to people and say, ‘I’m ready to put myself out there and start dating.’” Get the word out and make it official, she advises. “You never know where opportunities are going to come up.”
  --Amy Laurent, author of 8 Weeks to Everlasting: How to Get (and Keep) the Guy You Want

 

Five Things to Remember About Dating
1. It’s supposed to be fun! Just relax and enjoy! Stay present and enjoy your date’s company.
2. It’s not about your date’s inadequacies, it’s about what you have in common
3. Cut your date some slack. Nobody’s perfect, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have something to offer.
 4. Dating should be easy. It you’re with someone that it doesn’t flow with, it’s probably not the right person.
5. The more open you are, the more possibilities, choices and options await you.
  -- http://thedatingadvicegirl.com

 

Advice for Women: Compliment Him
“If a woman says that her dish is, for example, too salty, she will think nothing of talking negatively about the food, or even extend the conversation about why the kitchen staff is not more careful in their use of spices. If it were two women sharing an evening out, complaining about the food or service is perfectly fine, because talking about problems is a bonding experience on Venus.  However on Mars, men tie their egos to the choices they make. This is never truer than in the case of a restaurant that they have chosen. Now if on the other hand, a woman says, “Wow this place is a real find! I love the way they do their chicken….” In a man’s mind, he’s scored major points. It’s as if he went into the kitchen and cooked that meal himself.”

  -- John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

 

Advice for Men: Cultivate Your Confidence
“When I am asked, ‘What is the single most important tip for men when they want to meet the woman of their dreams?’ I always quote my own Babe Magnet Rule #14: Babe Magnets are confident and sure of themselves. Even if they have to fake it. That doesn’t mean a man should be conceited and all full of himself. But women are attracted to a man who has quiet confidence and is comfortable in his own skin.”

-- Chad Stone, author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, www.middleagedbabemagnet.com

 

What Love Is
“Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.”
  -- Source Unknown
 

Take Your Breath Away

“In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.”
 -- Shing Xiong

 

Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, available from www.amazon.com.

 

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How to Attract Any Woman

Let’s take a little poll right now. Raise your hands if you’re single, and you’d love to attract the perfect man or woman into your life.


That’s a lot of hands, and that’s exactly what I expected to see. If you’re single, and you haven’t totally given up on the whole dating thing (or even the belief that “I know he/she is out there, and I know we’ll meet each other when the time is right”), then you are one of those people who would be delighted to welcome a perfect lover into your life.

Which brings me to today’s topic. I’m on a lot of email lists to receive information about dating and relationships, because as an author of a book on dating, I want to see what’s being said on the topic. I recently received an email that promises to make any man an irresistible sexual animal. It begins:

IMAGINE THIS:

What if you could SAY and DO a few simple things to automatically, helplessly, irresistibly bring out the "SEXUAL ANIMAL" in ANY WOMAN YOU WANTED?

Well, get this:

You CAN--and once you know how to do it, you can take ANY woman from "just friends" to "take me home now" in a HEARTBEAT!!!

FACT IS, learn the simple secrets of what I call "Power Sexuality," and the women you dream about will start FANTASIZING ABOUT *YOU*!

Learn how to "turn on" your "Power Sexuality" right here:

www.middleagedbabemagnet.com



Ha! I added the link to my own website to see if you were paying attention. But the rest of the quote above has not been changed at all.

This “one solution fits all” approach to dating is NOT what I’m about, even though I do offer 92 Babe Magnet Rules throughout the pages of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. What I do believe is that there are many basic things that work for the majority of single men and women, but I would never tell you that there’s ONE MAGIC THING THAT WILL MAKE A WOMAN WANT YOU RIGHT NOW.

But lots of folks are looking for the easy solutions—whether it’s the one perfect thing to say or the one perfect thing to wear or the one perfect rule to follow.

The truth is, the key to dating success—whether you are a man or a woman, is to be yourself. And by that I mean, be the very best version of you that you can be. Guys, sometimes that means getting rid of all those grunge-rock flannels in your wardrobe. (Why? Because women love it when you look like you care about your appearance.)

Women, sometimes that means smiling more and wearing something besides your favorite sweats. (Why? Because men love it when you care enough about your appearance to look your best.)

Now, I’m sure that there’s some value in almost every dating advice book or dating advice package that’s out there. But please don’t think there’s one golden answer or one magic system that will suddenly take you from dweeb to Brad Pitt.

Besides, there’s already one Brad Pitt in the world. What the world really needs is exactly what the very best version of you has to offer.

This is Chad Stone, signing off for now.

 

I Love You, My Little Snookums

Do you have a pet name for your girlfriend? Does your boyfriend have a pet name for you?

If so, you’ve arrived in the Snookums Zone. That’s right, my little CooCoo Butt, Cutie Pie, Honeybunch, Babycakes.

Pet names are as common in relationships as gross-out jokes in Bridesmaids 2. (The movie isn’t out yet, but you can trust me on this, Sweetie.)

But why? Why do we seem to naturally invent cutesy monikers for that special someone in our lives? Pat Love, author of several relationship books including How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It, says pet names create a kind of a boundary around a relationship.

“It’s a way to identify the relationship as exclusive,” says Love. “It’s like an auditory marker.” In other words, when those around you overhear your lovey-dovey conversation, they know you’re committed to each other. (Check out Pat Love’s website here.)

That’s actually pretty cool. The very fact that you have cutesy pet names for each other means that you are in a Relationship, with a capital R. If you’re calling your girlfriend or boyfriend by a pet name, then you better have already pulled your profile from Match.com, let me tell you, Cupcake.

Are there actual benefits derived from using silly, personalized names for our lovers? Apparently, yes. One study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships reported that the more goofy pet names, made-up terms, and covert requests for sexual favors a couple used, the higher their relationship satisfaction tended to be. (Wouldn’t you love to get paid to do a study like that?)

But please, PLEASE, don’t overdue the whole Snookums stuff in front of other people. Pet names are cute to a couple who uses them for each other, but they are so sugary sweet to any other human being that they cause instant diabetic shock and a gagging reflex. (Have you ever noticed how many pet names are variations on sweet things? We’re talking about everything from honey and muffin to sugar and sweet cheeks. It turns out that we humans must really love really sweet foods, and that carries over into the sweet names we give our Cutie Patooties.)

Did you hear what I said, Punkin’ Pie? You’re just so darn cute when you space out and don’t listen to me, aren’t you, my little Goober Lips?

By the way, if you don’t already have a cute pet name for your honey, then check out Pet Name Generator at www.links2love.com/nicknames.htm


This is Chad Stone, the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, signing off. And no, I won’t tell you the pet name that my wife calls me.

Behind the Scenes of a TV Appearance



Chad Stone on the set of "You & Me This Morning" with hosts Melissa Forman (left) and Jeanne Sparrow (right).

 It’s 6:15 a.m. in Chicago and I am getting into a cab. “I need to go to the WCIU-TV studios on North Halsted,” I tell the driver. I feel a tiny bit like Matt Lauer, heading for his job at the Today Show—except that Matt has his own private driver and he leaves even earlier in the morning. And I am Chad Stone, who is not anywhere close to Matt Lauer’s pay grade.


But hey, I’m headed to my first TV interview to talk about Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, and I’m excited and a little nervous.

The taxi driver drops me off in front of a nondescript office building and a producer escorts me into the studio. Holy Live TV, the hosts of “You & Me This Morning” are sitting on a couch chatting about something silly with thousands of viewers in Chicagoland sharing their every word. Melissa Forman and Jeanne Sparrow sit on the brightly lit set, pretending to be two best friends talking and hanging out over bagels and coffee.

What, exactly, is the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet doing here? I’m drinking bottled water and reviewing the notes I wrote for my interview. I need to make sure I’ll remember what I planned to say about how dating is like the Olympics and how a middle-aged guy like me became a self-proclaimed Babe Magnet.

A tiny microphone is clipped to my lapel. Then the producer takes me to the “Green Room” to go over my segment. I will be interviewed by the blonde TV host (Melissa Forman) while we sit at the “kitchen table” part of the set. Sounds great—just make sure I don’t look like a doofus, OK?

Back in the studio, the director sits me in a chair on the set and hands me a copy of my own book. During the “tease” for my upcoming segment, I sit under the hot lights and pretend to read my book while laughing and smiling like I’ve never seen the book before. It’s weird, but it’s TV—not real life.

During the commercial break I am escorted to my chair at the table. Melissa sits down, smiling, and introduces herself. The red light on the camera goes on, and Melissa introduces me by saying something like, “If you ever wondered what a babe magnet looks like, now you know.”

“No one ever mistook me for Brad Pitt,” I quip. “So if I can become a Babe Magnet, then anyone can become a Babe Magnet.” And that’s pretty much the point of the book. You can learn to be a good date. You can learn to be charming and a great conversationalist. You can learn what women want in a man (and if you’re a woman, you can learn what men want in a woman). This isn’t rocket science, folks. You just have to pay attention and be willing to learn.

Melissa the TV Host is clearly enjoying herself as she asks me about myself and how I came to write Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. Then we go through some of the Olympic Dating Styles that I coined to describe how some singles act like dating is a major sporting event. (See the earlier Olympics post on this blog.)

My mouth is getting drier with each passing moment. It’s hard to look relaxed and natural while trying to be charming and funny on TV. Perhaps that’s why Matt Lauer, Oprah Winfrey and the other professionals get paid so much money. Fortunately, the interview ends before I completely lose the ability to form words with my cotton mouth.

The TV cameras are off, and Melissa the TV Host is flipping through my book, laughing. “Don’t switch Babes in mid stream!” she reads. “This is hilarious!” It’s too bad she didn’t read the book before our interview. Oh well.

Then I am out on the street, left to find myself a cab back to the hotel. TV is done with me—for now.

Perhaps I should call Oprah or Ellen. What do you think?

By the way, here's the link to my TV interview: Chad Stone on WCIU-TV

The Lighter Side of Marriage

Why do single men and women spend so much of their waking thoughts, time and energy to find a special someone? I believe that humans are hard-wired to seek out romantic relationships. We crave the intimacy and the partnership, and the chance to bond, change and grow together.


Traditionally, the goal of a romantic partnership has been marriage, and for millions of singles and couples that’s still the goal. Marriage is one of society’s most respected institutions, but it also presents some of the most challenging experiences any of us will ever face. Perhaps that’s why a healthy, happy and successful marriage is celebrated by husband, wife, family and friends.

Today, more than ever, a sense of humor is an important component of a healthy and happy marriage. So I share with you these quotes about marriage (many of which apply just as well to any romantic partnership.) I hope you receive them in the spirit of joy, love, hope and laughter with which they are intended.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it. -- Unknown

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. -- Rita Rudner

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. -- Judith Viorst


For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. -- Bill Cosby

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. -- Benjamin Franklin

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. -- Michel de Montaigne


Why does a woman work 10 years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? -- Barbra Streisand

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. -- Mignon McLaughlin


There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.-- Adela Rogers St. John


No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not.-- H. L. Mencken

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food..... She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. -- Henny Youngman

We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It's called love. -- Gene Perret

-------------------------------------
This is Chad Stone, author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, signing off.

When It’s Time to Say Goodbye

Relationships are wonderful. Right? Isn’t that why we all love to be paired up with someone special? Isn’t that why millions of us who aren’t in relationships spend billions of dollars on online dating services like match.com and other matchmaking services? Isn’t that why we agonize about the relationships we’re in when things aren’t going well?



The short answer is “Yes.”



But unfortunately, sometimes relationships run their course. Some romantic relationships aren’t built to last. Or maybe they could have lasted, but we choose to give up on them instead.



So, when is the right time to end a relationship?



That’s what Mitchelon Humperdickfrankenfurter (not his real name) recently asked himself. He had been seeing Jennifer Lopez (the singer, but not the famous one) for nearly a year. Their lives had become comfortably enmeshed. They spent weekends together. They saw each other during the week. They had meet each others’ kids and parents. They were a couple.



In the past week, they became uncoupled. It was Mitch who decided it was time. He and Jenn had gone to Barbados together for 10 days in the tropics. But the trip was not all bliss, and it was clear to Mitch that his relationship with Jenn was stuck.



When I asked Mitch why he decided to have the dreaded “breakup talk” with Jenn, he said it was all about passion. He wasn’t feeling the heat, the passion in the relationship that he wanted. Sure, Jenn was nice, level-headed and dependable—but there weren’t any sparks in their relationship.



What Mitch also admitted was that there weren’t many sparks in the relationship even in the beginning—when you expect them the most. Mitch was hoping that the chemistry between them would erupt into flames over time, but that never happened.



When they got back from their vacation, he broke the news gently to Jenn. It turns out, she was feeling the same way. She wasn’t feeling any sparks for Mitch, either. So the good news was, the feelings (or lack thereof) were mutual. They collected their respective possessions from their respective houses, and they split as amicably as possible.



When is the right time to end a relationship? For Mitch and Jenn, it was when their hearts told them that they wanted more. They wanted more passion, and they were no longer to settle for anything less.



I wish them both nothing but the best, and I hope they both find lots of passion in their next relationships.

-- Chad Stone
----- For more thoughts on relationships and breakups, read my book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. And check out my web page at www.middleagedbabemagnet.com.