Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Why Won’t Men Commit to a Relationship?
A study called “Why Men Won’t Commit: Exploring Young Men’s Attitudes About Sex, Dating and Marriage” examined the state of marriage in America from the male perspective. The study surveyed 60 single men between the ages of 25 to 33 northern New Jersey, Chicago, Washington, D.C. and Houston.
Researchers explored men’s attitudes on sex, dating, meeting women, living together, marrying a soul mate, the timing of marriage, social pressures to marry, divorce, desire for children and more.
According to the study, here are some of the reasons that young men are not committing to marriage:
• They are more willing to live together than marry.
• They can get sex without marriage.
• They want to avoid the financial fall-out of divorce.
• They fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises.
• They want to delay having children.
• They are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children.
• They are waiting for the perfect soul mate.
• They want to enjoy single life as long as they can.
• They want to own a house before they get a wife.
One of the things that this study revealed was that—unlike in earlier decades— there are no big social pressures on men to marry. As a result, men are delaying marriage. In 1960, half of all single men were married by 25 and the rest followed shortly thereafter. Today, the median age of a first marriage for men is 27. For college-educated men, it’s a year or two later—about age 29.
Here in the 21st century, anyone paying attention already knows that women are living with their boyfriends before they decide to get married. That way, both parties can see if they are compatible together. Experts say that half of all these live-in relationships eventually turn into marriages.
I think it is this new trend toward cohabitating that makes it SEEM like men are not willing to commit to a relationship. In fact, they ARE willing to commit to a relationship, it’s just that many men don’t see any benefits in turning their live-in girlfriends into wives. (Like Granddad always said, why buy the cow when you are already getting the milk for free.)
What do you think?