Friday, October 18, 2013

Five Ways Women Kill Relationships

In a previous post here on Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, I talked about the Five Ways Men Kill Relationships. It’s only fair that I talk about some of the behaviors that women use to chase men away. So this time we cover the five ways that women kill relationships.

Women believe that they’re better at relationships than men are. And they’re probably right. Men can be clueless and self-centered. But women can also fail in the relationship department. Women bring a complexity to the lives of men, and sometimes men just can’t handle it.

Some of the ways that women mess up relationships can be described as personality types. So here are the behaviors of five personality types that women use to kill relationships.

1.       Ms. Bossy Pants

Dating is complicated for the modern woman. Most women have jobs, and many have high-paying careers. These women are used to being not only independent—but in charge. They’ve amped up their masculine energy to succeed in the working world, only to find out that this hard-charging energy makes dating and relationships more difficult. Why? Because the process of dating and developing relationships is VERY old-fashioned. The man demonstrates his masculine energy by being the instigator. He makes the first move, he plans dates, and he basically tries to impress the woman. The woman, on the other hand, needs to relax in her role of being the prize that the man is trying to win.

There is nothing like a bossy woman to get a man all warm inside. Right, guys?
When a modern career woman, who I will call Ms. Bossy Pants, enters a new relationship, one of the most difficult things for her is to let the man take the lead. She’s so used to handling things on her own—or even telling people what to do, that she can’t help but make suggestions about how a date should go. He picks a nice restaurant, and she says, “Well, the new Asian Bistro is really quite fabulous. Wouldn’t you really rather go there?” Ms. Bossy Pants has to learn how to wear a dress and let the man be in charge. Otherwise, the only men she will attract are wimpy guys to will put up with all of the bossing.

2.       The Wedding Planner

There are two basic ways of moving too fast in a relationship. For men, it’s trying to get sex too quickly. For women, it’s picking out the wedding invitation design after two dates. Both of these types of moving too fast can kill a relationship.

You casually mention the "M word" during an early date, and this is what he pictures.
Healthy relationships usually progress in a natural, comfortable way. A relationship works best when both parties are moving along at the same speed. But if one is way ahead of the other, there’s bound to be some friction. If it’s the woman who is already wedding planning before he’s committed, then he is going to behave like a man and run like hell. I think the majority of cases of men bailing from relationships has to do with women who are planning for a lifetime of bliss when the guy can’t plan past Friday.

3.       Ms. Gold Digger

Yes, ladies, even in the 21st century there are women who are in it for the money. Remember Anna Nicole Smith (the former Playboy Playmate) who married that 187-year-old billionaire oil tycoon? Do you really think she fell madly in love with him? Me neither. Anna Nicole was the ultimate Ms. Gold Digger.

What do you REALLY want from a relationship?
Most women are not simply after a man’s money. But men are still sensitive to the fact that some women are impressed by fancy cars, jewelry and big houses. So when a woman even hints at being interested in a man for his money, his warning sirens go off. This works both ways, too. When a man starts acting like his girlfriend is going to be his Sugar Momma, she’s going to give him a swift kick out the door.

4.       The Man Fixer

There’s an old saying about how men and women approach finding a mate. A man meets a woman and says, “She’s perfect. I hope she never changes.” A woman meets a man and says, “He needs a lot  
She's thinking: "This guy has potential. I can really turn him into someone nice." 
of work, but I can whip him into shape.” A woman who behaves as a Man Fixer loves the challenge of rehabbing a man who has lots of potential. Like a contractor who can turn an ugly, dilapidated house into a neighborhood treasure, The Man Fixer rolls up her sleeves and gets right to work. Lots of men are happy to make small changes for their women. And lots of men are better off for the touch of a smart woman with good taste. But most men don’t want to be rehab projects. When a man feels like he’s a Man Fixer’s project, he’s going to bolt.


5.       Miss “Let Me Tell You How Horrible Men Are”

What is it about some women and their man bashing? Why are they still looking for Mr. Right if they’re convinced that every man is a total jerk? Miss “Let Me Tell You How Horrible Men Are” is quite sure that men are inferior creatures, but there she is on on a Friday night, looking through the profiles of local men. She’s hoping to find the one-in-a-million man who might be good
Men are not looking for a bad time. Do you think this woman would be any fun to be with on a date?
enough for her—and at the same time she’s quite sure that he doesn’t exist. Miss “Let Me Tell You How Horrible Men Are” gets crabbier as she gets older, so she starts to actually repel men. This leads to a self-fulfilling prophesy whereby men start to run away. Then she REALLY believes that all men are horrible—they won’t even talk to her anymore.

Ladies, there’s a simple fact about men that you really need to hear: Men aren’t looking for a bad time, and they aren’t looking for relationships with crabby women who are impossible to please. No man ever wrote, “For a bad time call Lisa,” on a bathroom wall.
Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet and Babe Magnet Rules of Dating Over 50. Both books are available at



  1. So, to sum it up. If you do date, then make sure it isn’t dating in the way that our culture has defined it. It should be dating for the purpose of discerning marriage with this person or not. During all of these times, make sure you are seeing a spiritual director who can help you cut through the noise and confusion that surrounds us, especially in dating.
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