Monday, October 7, 2013

The Final Word on How to Have a Great First Date

During our last two posts, we talked about how to have a great first date. There’s all the first date prep. There’s getting your great first date look together so you make an awesome first impression. There’s choosing the right location for your great first date. And, of course, you need to know what to talk about—and also which topics to NOT talk about.

In many ways, a first date is like a job interview. You are applying for the opening for Girlfriend (or Boyfriend), and your goal is to get to the next interview. How do you do that? Start by asking good questions. Listen to the answers.  Show that you are interested in your date and what he or she says. Reveal some positive things about yourself and your interests in an unforced, conversational way. Smile and enjoy yourself!

"You're hired!" Well, that's sort of what a first date can be like.
You might indeed be on a “job interview” of sorts, but a first date is actually much more than that. Sure, you’ve got to make a good impression and reveal the best aspects of your personality. But you also have to get to know the person sitting across from you. Because if a first date really is a job interview, it’s a two-way job interview. You’re both interviewing each other, and it’s only successful if you both shine.

You know how to tell if your date is clicking? The time just FLIES by. The two of you never run out of things to say. That’s how it was for Mueller when he first met Daphne. Mueller had been on quite a few dates. He was almost a professional dater, because he was very picky and he was looking for the love of his life. When he met Daphne for dinner at his favorite Italian restaurant, he was starting to wonder if he had been too picky. But Daphne had a smile that dazzled him, and Mueller had a gentle way about him that touched Daphne’s heart. They both couldn’t stop smiling at each other, and they made each other laugh. The longer they talked, the more they had in common.

You've heard of the expression "time flies." No, it's not a literal thing, not matter how good this illustration is. But time whizzing by is one thing that makes a great first date, well, great.

Then, there was the big C-word—Chemistry. It’s difficult to describe chemistry using words, but most of us know it when we feel it. Chemistry is a biological, physical and emotional attraction to another person. Both Mueller and Daphne felt the chemistry that night. Chemistry isn’t logical, so you can sometimes overthink it and talk yourself out of it.

No. Not this kind of chemistry. The Good Kind of chemistry.
Fortunately, Mueller and Daphne felt the chemistry that night, and they paid attention to it. Their romance is still going strong, and it looks like it will be going strong for years to come.

And that, my friends, is why you go out on a first date. Because sometimes, if you’re lucky and if you’re paying attention, the chemistry cooks and the stars align and that first date leads to the love of your life.

All you need is love.

For more tips on how to meet the love of your life, read Chad Stone’s self-help memoir Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. The book was recently named a finalist for Best Self Help Book by the prestigious New Mexico/Arizona Book Awards.   


1 comment:

  1. So, to sum it up. If you do date, then make sure it isn’t dating in the way that our culture has defined it. It should be dating for the purpose of discerning marriage with this person or not. During all of these times, make sure you are seeing a spiritual director who can help you cut through the noise and confusion that surrounds us, especially in dating.
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