Friday, January 31, 2014

The real truth about Valentine’s Day myths and misunderstandings

Valentine’s Day is the biggest day of the year for lovers. It doesn’t really matter if Valentine’s Day is a made-up holiday designed to sell greeting cards and boxes of chocolates. Valentine’s Day has become a day for lovers to express their feelings and affections for each other, and it’s a day that you better participate in—or else endure the wrath of your sweetheart.

You might think you know everything there is to know about celebrating cupid’s day of love. After all, you’ve had a few relationships in your life. (Maybe more than a few relationships!) Nevertheless, in the spirit of Valentine’s Day and offering Valentine’s Day advice, let’s talk about the biggest myths and misunderstandings about Valentine’s Day.


Myth # 1: It's perfectly OK to skip Valentine's Day

Wrong, wrong and double wrong. If you’re a man and you decide to skip Valentine’s Day, you are setting yourself up for disaster. Your honey-pie might even realize that it's a hyped-up holiday, but that won’t get you off the hook completely. You know why? Because everyone else is celebrating it, and if she sees her friends getting flowers and going out to dinner, she’s going to wonder why you are being such a jerk.

So here’s what you can do instead. Celebrate Valentine’s in your own special, low-key sort of way. You don’t have to buy lavish gifts to keep the spirit of the day alive. How about planning an activity that you and your lover enjoy? Take her hiking or ice skating or zip-lining (if you’re really adventurous). It almost doesn’t matter what activity you decide to do together as long as your honey can tell that you gave it some thought and you picked something that you thought she would enjoy.  


Myth # 2: February 14th is the only day to celebrate love
Just because everyone else is celebrating Valentine’s Day on February 14th, does that mean you have to? Not really. Sure, it’s the conventional thing to do. The very popularity of Feb. 14 makes it a bit difficult to buck the tide. But you can throw convention out the window and have a little fun—if you do it right.

How about picking another day in the week and declare it as your very own Valentine’s Day? Every place will be less crowded, and it might feel more special if you and your lover have your very own day. She will still be the one being romanced, right? She will appreciate the fact that you created a day just for her. But this is very important: Make sure you talk about this BEFORE Valentine’s Day. She has to be onboard with this idea or it won’t work.


Myth # 3: You're saving money for a fun vacation, so it's OK to skip Valentine's Day altogether

I pity the man who falls for this myth. Sure, she agreed to save money for your big vacation. So she clearly won’t expect a lavish Valentine’s Day celebration. But none at all? That will disappoint her—especially when all of her girlfriends have stories to tell about the gifts they received and the places they went.

So, honor the spirit of your agreement to save money. While you should not plan an expensive date, you do want to surprise her with an inexpensive (but thoughtful) gift or activity. Plan to meet her for lunch and pack her favorite food in a picnic basket. She'll be impressed that you stuck to a budget while still making her feel special.

Myth # 4: You've only been dating for a few months, so you won't celebrate

If you’ve been dating a long time, or if you’re happily married, Valentine’s Day is a no-brainer. OF COURSE you’re going to celebrate the day in some way. But what about if you just started dating? Do you opt for something romantic if you’re not really sure how your gesture will be received?

In a new relationship, it’s important to honor the day without being overly romantic about it. Ignoring Valentine’s Day would be a mistake, so you want to acknowledge it and gently use Valentine’s Day as a way to move the relationship forward. How? Try scheduling a dancing class or a cooking class. Or, take her to see a comedy show — anything to get the two of you laughing and experiencing something fun together.


Myth #5: He shouldn’t expect a gift in return

Ladies, this is the myth that you have to pay attention to. Although Valentine’s Day is usually marketed as a woman’s holiday, when the man makes a big deal about treating his woman to gifts and expressions of love, there’s no rule stating that the woman can’t surprise her man with something thoughtful in return.


Plan to give him a small gift of love. It can be a gift that you buy, or it can be something fun and special. Make him his favorite dessert. Or how about a sexy lingerie show just for him, followed by … well, you know. Be creative and he will feel loved and adored.


And one more thing

Who says Valentine’s Day celebrations have to be restricted to one day a year? Make every day a Valentine’s Day by saying “I love you” and showing your honey that you appreciate them!

For more on this topic--and just about everything else concerning love, dating and relationships, read The Babe Magnet Rules of Dating Over 50: 101 Tips for Meeting, Winning & Keeping a New Love by Chad Stone. For daily tips about love and relationships, "Like" Chad's Facebook page.



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