Saturday, November 30, 2013

Two secrets women need to know about men


 
Talk to any woman, and she will tell you that men don’t understand women. That’s because men can be clueless—and that’s no big secret. (I am a man, and I can say this in all honesty.) But I’ll let you in on a little secret women need to know about men. Many women don’t know that they don’t have a clue about men, either.

 
According to dating expert Kara Oh, most women don’t have a clue about two vitally important secrets about how to date and win the heart of a man. I call these the two secrets that women need to know about men in order to attract the right man—and keep him interested.
Is LOVE in the cards for you? It can be--but only if you know the rules of the game.
 

Secret #1: A Woman Must Use Her Feminine Ways


What does it mean for a woman to use her feminine ways? It means simply this: most men can’t handle a woman’s emotional power. Women must realize that their emotions are too powerful a force for most men to understand. This emotional power shorts out a man’s brain circuits and sends him running for cover.
 

As a result, a woman needs to keep her emotional reactions to herself, or share then with a trusted girlfriend. She SHOULD NOT reveal all of her emotions to the man she wants to romance. Truly, the power of a woman’s emotions is more than a man can handle. His mind is hardwired for logic and problem solving. Men don’t understand emotions and process life through their emotions the way women do.   
 

The answer for women? Learn to regulate your feminine power with feminine grace. Outsmart him by giving him just what his ego wants. At the same time, use your feminine grace to set the ground rules so he will know how you want to be treated. (Men appreciate knowing what “the rules” are—and they respond by trying to please you.)


Here are some more tips on how to convert your feminine power to feminine grace:

 
  • Be gracious. Grace leads to graciousness. Men don’t get a lot of graciousness from the men in their lives, so they crave it from women.

  • Speak from the heart, but don’t overload his brain with too much emotion. He wants to feel your emotion—he really does. He just doesn’t want to be overwhelmed by it.

  • Expect him to treat you with consideration and respect. That’s what you deserve, and you should not settle for anything less.
 

When you turn on your feminine charms, you will find that there is real power in controlling your feminine energy. Use this secret to behave from your source of feminine power and he will feel good to be around you. And that’s crucial in getting him to come back for more.
 

Secret #2: Make Him Feel Like a Man


Why is this secret that women need to know so secret? Probably because too few women know how important this secret really is. Sure, women may make a man feel manly in the beginning of a relationship because they are excited about a new man. But, unfortunately, once they become comfortable in their relationship, they tend to start making him feel like LESS like a man.
 

How big a mistake is this? It’s a deal breaker for most men. Instead of continuing to use their feminine power in the form of feminine grace, too many women start to chip away at a man’s masculine ego by criticizing him and trying to turn him into something different. (Something better, right ladies?) A man wants to please his woman, so he will go along with some of the changes. But after a while most men will realize that the woman he is with is starting to make him feel bad about himself—not wonderful. Trust me, a man wants to please the woman of his dreams. But what if she can’t be pleased? Then he feels like a failure. What man wants to be around a woman who makes him feel like he is a failure?
 

Here are Kara Oh’s suggestions for making a man feel like a man:
 

  • Let him know how good a man you think he is. Tell him with your eyes, your smile, and your kind words. Tell him he makes you feel like a lady.

  • Let him know how considerate he is—and let him know how much that pleases you.

  • Let him know how smart you think he is. Stroke his ego a little. It might sound a little manipulative, and maybe it is. But as a man, yours truly Chad Stone can speak on behalf of men. For more on this topic, check out my book Babe MagnetRules of Dating Over 50.

Let him know strong and capable he is. (It’s beginning to sound like men are just big, insecure babies on the inside. Well ladies, they are.) 

 

Basically, it comes down to this: a man wants to be his woman’s hero. We all want to be the charming prince who comes to a beautiful damsel’s rescue. Men want to live the fairy tale, too. And by the way, ladies, if he is not the kind of man you can honestly appreciate, then he IS NOT the man for you.
 
Would you rather be happy? Or would you rather be right--and not find the man of your dreams?


Does this advice sound hopeless old-fashioned? Does it sound crazy to behave like this in the 21st century? Not if you want the man of your dreams. Dating IS old-fashioned. Relationships ARE based largely upon centuries of old-fashioned behaviors. If you want to get a great man and live happily ever after, you’ve got to use your feminine power in a gracious and graceful way.
 

So, what do you think of this advice? Is it old-fashioned and crazy? Or is it classic brilliance that is just as true today as it was hundreds of years ago?
 

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Please comment and let me know if you think I’m crazy—or not.
 

Sincerely,
 

Chad Stone (affectionately known as the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet)

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