The Best and Worst Pickup Lines Ever (Part 1)

Single people have a fascination with pickup lines. Men are on a constant search for the best pickup line, and women are always comparing notes with other women to laugh about the worst pickup lines they've ever heard.

So I thought it was time to find out from you--and all of your single friends--if there is such a thing as THE BEST PICKUP LINE EVER. And, while we're at it, let's also find out what's THE WORST PICKUP LINE EVER.

Here in America, we love to vote. We just voted for president. That's important, for sure. But now it's time to focus that election furvor on something even more controversial than voting for president. Now it's time to vote for pickup lines. And I invite the rest of the world to join in. This vote goes beyond the imaginary lines that separate countries. This is so important that we will exclude no one. If you live anywhere on Planet Earth, you are eligible to vote in this election.

(Cue the uplifting music)

Pickup lines are a time-tested tradition in the world of men meeting women. For thousands of years, single men have been walking up to single women that they do not know and saying the magic words that might capture the favorable attention of the women.

For the first time in history, through the power of the Internet, now we can take a worldwide poll on the World Wide Web and find out, once and for all, which is The Best Pickup Line Ever and which is The Worst Pickup Line Ever.

In ROUND ONE, please vote for your favorite line and your least favorite line. Here they are:

1. Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out.

2. Hi. My name is Windows. Can I crash at your place?

3. A girl as beautiful as you shouldn't go out alone. Let me take you home.

4. If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harrass you.

To vote, simply submit a comment stating your Favorite line from the list above and your Least Favorite. Feel free to tell why you voted as you did, and feel free to submit a good or bad pickup line as a candidate for a future round of voting.

PLEASE SEND A LINK TO THIS POST TO YOUR FRIENDS AND TO EVERYONE ON THE PLANET. LET'S GIVE EVERYONE A CHANCE TO VOTE IN THIS VERY IMPORTANT ELECTION! THEN COME BACK NEXT WEEK TO VOTE IN ROUND TWO.

May the pickup lines be with you.

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Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. Please Like the book on Facebook.

Has Online Dating Gone Too Far?

Have you noticed how comfortable people are with the online world? Communicating with friends via text and Facebook, and with potential dates via online dating sites (such as Match.com, Cupid.com, eHarmony.com, etc.) now feels completely natural.

But maybe the whole online communication thing has gone too far. A recent study by the Performics marketing firm found that 40% of Americans said they felt more comfortable communicating with people online (or via a device) than in person. Almost half—49%--would rather text than call, and 30% would rather connect with their closest friends by using Facebook and other social media sites than by calling or talking in person.

Online Dating Advice

WTF?—as I might respond in a text. We’ve become a nation of people who are more comfortable gazing at a tiny video screen and punching in a message with our thumbs than engrossed in a friendly, face-to-face conversation.

Another survey by Forrester says that 38% of online adults in the USA can be defined as “always accessible.” You can always reach them online or via their mobile phone! In addition, a large percentage of those who are not always accessible are so connected that they access the internet multiple times per day from multiple locations.

What’s going on here? Have we forgotten how to talk to each other? The short answer is: Yes. So if I were to summarize all of this in a piece of online dating advice, I would say this: give all of those electronic devices a rest.

Be Smarter than Your Phone

Now let me say that I am not anti-technology. I love my smart phone. I’m not sure how I could live without it. I love to use it to check sports scores and emails. And I  love using it as a phone—you know, to actually talk to someone. Sending emails and text messages and Facebook posts is a fine way to send little bits of information and send cute pictures of cats. But when you really want to communicate, you need to talk to the other person.

Am I sounding old-fashioned here? Maybe. Probably. But I’m right about this, dammit. Anyone who has read my book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, is not going to be surprised to hear me say this. I’ve even got a Babe Magnet Rule about this. (You can look it up.)

Four Things You Should Never Do by Text

I feel strongly about this, so I’ve put together a short list of expert dating advice about using texts, emails and other electronic media. Here are four things you, as a single person in the dating world, should never do via text:

1. Ask someone out on a date. Men, don’t be a weenie. Call the woman up and talk with her and make her feel desirable. She will love you for it.

2. Cancel a date. Any kind of date—one that resulted from an online dating site or one that was the result of meeting someone in person. This is good advice for both men and women. If you need to cancel, make a phone call. Using a text message to cancel is the easy way out. Talking directly with the person shows the strength of your character.

3. Saying anything important. Can you imagine a world in which a man tells a woman “I Love You” for the first time via text? God, I hope not.

4. Breaking up. I have been on the receiving end of breakup emails. I know people who have sent and received breakup text messages. I think this is a chickensh*t thing to do. Sure, it’s easier. But man-up and give the woman a call. Show a little courage and integrity.

I am sure there are hundreds of other instances when talking to someone is better than sending a short, cold, impersonal text message. Please comment on this post with one kind of communication you think should NEVER be done via a text message.

Remember why they call that device in your pocket or purse a cell phone. It was designed to be used for talking to other people. Give the text function a rest and make a phone call. Better still, use the phone call to set up a face-to-face meeting. 

That’s what a date is, people. Face-to-face and in person. That’s when the chemistry happens. Chemistry NEVER EVER happens during a text message. Think about that the next time you’re about to send a text.

Author Chad Stone Talks About and Signs His New Dating Memoir

Book Talk and Signing

I am happy to be talking about Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet and signing books tomorrow in Albuquerque. I have been invited to appear at one of the best independent bookstores in the West, Page One Bookstore, to give a talk and sign copies of my book.

I will start by reading a few passages from the book, which is a good way to introduce the story and my unique perspective on dating and finding love. Then I will open it up to questions so people can learn more about my experiences and whether the book has a happy ending.

Dating After Divorce

One of the questions I'm sure that will be asked is, "Why did you write a book about daving after divorce?" One of the reasons I wrote Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet was because there weren't any books written from the male perspective that dealt with both the highs and lows of the single life. No one had told the story about what it's like to be a single man in the 21st century who is looking for the last love of his life.

I wanted to write a book that talked honestly about these things:

-- What do men want?
-- What do women want?
-- Do men and women want basically the same things?
-- What is it like in the "Dating Over 50" world?
-- Can you find true love at any ages?
-- Sex and the single adult
-- Tips for online dating
-- What skills are necessary to win and woo a woman
-- What are men thinking-- really?

To help promote my book signing event, I appeared on the Good Day New Mexico TV show on Friday. You can watch the clip here: Chad Stone on TV

So if you can make it to Page One Bookstore on Sunday, Oct. 28 at 2:30 pm, please come by!

Author Chad Stone talks about his book about dating, "Confessions of a Middle Aged Babe Magnet"

Chad Stone
Book signing and discussion
"Confessions of a Middle Aged Babe Magnet"
October 28 at 2:30 p.m.

Page One Bookstore
11018 Montgomery Blvd NE
Albuquerque, NM

A Healthy Woman is a Happy Woman

A healthy relationship is based on a lot of different factors. One of the factors that tends to get overlooked is physical health. It’s very difficult to have a truly healthy relationship if you’re not physically healthy. If you feel like crap, your relationship is bound to suffer.


So, in the interest of good health, I want to pass along some great tips from a recent story in Parade magazine by Kalee Thompson. Ms. Thompson’s “Stay Healthy” story features a quiz about women’s health. So ladies, this info is right on target for you. And guys, take the advice that applies to both genders, and pass along the other tips to a woman you love. Here goes:

What Makes A Healthy Woman
Question #1: What’s the best thing you can do to improve your health?

a. Eat only organic veggies and fruits
b. Play a sport that you love
c. Stop paying attention to politics and anyone running for political office
d. Have more sex

The answer is b. Regular exercise is good for your body and mind in so many ways. It reduces the risk of diabetes and heart disease. It strengthens your muscles and bones. It reduces stress. Personally, I think having sex counts as playing a sport you love. But that’s just my opinion—I’m not a scientist.

Question #2: A woman’s happiness in a relationship is most closely correlated to:

a. How often her partner gives her compliments
b. How often her partner prepares dinner
c. How well her partner can sense if she is upset
d. How often she has sex with her partner

The answer is c. A man contributes greatly to a woman’s happiness when he is in tune with her moods. That doesn’t mean he takes a quick read of her mood, and sensing that she is stormy with a chance of rain, finds a reason to go to the sports bar to watch a game—any game. No, gentlemen, let her talk and keep your mouth shut. She needs to vent. And ladies, here’s a tip for you. A man is much more likely to feel satisfied in his relationship if his woman tells him when she’s happy. I’ve said this before, and I’ll keep saying it: a man wants a woman he can please. He needs to know when his romantic partner is happy and content. He lives for that.

Question #3: Name the fruit that has been shown to keep a woman’s brain young.

a. Berries
b. Apples
c. Kiwi
d. That guy from the Bravo channel

The answer is a. The really smart men and women at Harvard University researched this topic with a test group of 16,000 subjects. They found that strawberries and blueberries made women’s brains 2.5 years younger than those of non-berry eaters and viewers of the Bravo network.

What Makes a Woman Happy

Here’s another factoid that could win you a bet or two. Chocoholics actually weigh less than women who rarely eat chocolate. Why? Perhaps chocolate turns up your metabolism. Or it could just be that the researchers “fudged” the results. Get it? Ha! Fudged the results.

Sometimes I crack myself up. Hey—know what else improves a woman’s health (and a man’s, too)? Laughter! You can look it up.

This is Chad Stone, Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, leaving the building before he wears out his welcome.

The Best Dating and Relationship Advice Ever

There’s a lot of wisdom on the Internet, if you know where to find it. Whenever I find a great piece of advice about finding love or how to have a great relationship, I try to pass it along.

Here’s a round-up of great dating and relationship advice that I am delighted to share with you. This might even be the best dating advice ever!

The Best Dating Advice from Mom
My mother says nothing good happens after 11 p.m. That was a good one. If he’s calling you for an 11:15 p.m. booty call, or telling you “I have dinner with my clients … won’t be back till 11:45,” — no, not happening. Also, always leave him wanting more.

  --Patti Stanger, “The Millionaire Matchmaker”

Tell People You’re Single

“A lot of times, people don’t know that you want to be set up,” said Amy Laurent, a dating expert. “If you’re really going to do this (being successful at finding love), bring it up to people and say, ‘I’m ready to put myself out there and start dating.’” Get the word out and make it official, she advises. “You never know where opportunities are going to come up.”
  --Amy Laurent, author of 8 Weeks to Everlasting: How to Get (and Keep) the Guy You Want

 

Five Things to Remember About Dating
1. It’s supposed to be fun! Just relax and enjoy! Stay present and enjoy your date’s company.
2. It’s not about your date’s inadequacies, it’s about what you have in common
3. Cut your date some slack. Nobody’s perfect, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have something to offer.
 4. Dating should be easy. It you’re with someone that it doesn’t flow with, it’s probably not the right person.
5. The more open you are, the more possibilities, choices and options await you.
  -- http://thedatingadvicegirl.com

 

Advice for Women: Compliment Him
“If a woman says that her dish is, for example, too salty, she will think nothing of talking negatively about the food, or even extend the conversation about why the kitchen staff is not more careful in their use of spices. If it were two women sharing an evening out, complaining about the food or service is perfectly fine, because talking about problems is a bonding experience on Venus.  However on Mars, men tie their egos to the choices they make. This is never truer than in the case of a restaurant that they have chosen. Now if on the other hand, a woman says, “Wow this place is a real find! I love the way they do their chicken….” In a man’s mind, he’s scored major points. It’s as if he went into the kitchen and cooked that meal himself.”

  -- John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

 

Advice for Men: Cultivate Your Confidence
“When I am asked, ‘What is the single most important tip for men when they want to meet the woman of their dreams?’ I always quote my own Babe Magnet Rule #14: Babe Magnets are confident and sure of themselves. Even if they have to fake it. That doesn’t mean a man should be conceited and all full of himself. But women are attracted to a man who has quiet confidence and is comfortable in his own skin.”

-- Chad Stone, author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, www.middleagedbabemagnet.com

 

What Love Is
“Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.”
  -- Source Unknown
 

Take Your Breath Away

“In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.”
 -- Shing Xiong

 

Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, available from www.amazon.com.

 

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How to Attract Any Woman

Let’s take a little poll right now. Raise your hands if you’re single, and you’d love to attract the perfect man or woman into your life.


That’s a lot of hands, and that’s exactly what I expected to see. If you’re single, and you haven’t totally given up on the whole dating thing (or even the belief that “I know he/she is out there, and I know we’ll meet each other when the time is right”), then you are one of those people who would be delighted to welcome a perfect lover into your life.

Which brings me to today’s topic. I’m on a lot of email lists to receive information about dating and relationships, because as an author of a book on dating, I want to see what’s being said on the topic. I recently received an email that promises to make any man an irresistible sexual animal. It begins:

IMAGINE THIS:

What if you could SAY and DO a few simple things to automatically, helplessly, irresistibly bring out the "SEXUAL ANIMAL" in ANY WOMAN YOU WANTED?

Well, get this:

You CAN--and once you know how to do it, you can take ANY woman from "just friends" to "take me home now" in a HEARTBEAT!!!

FACT IS, learn the simple secrets of what I call "Power Sexuality," and the women you dream about will start FANTASIZING ABOUT *YOU*!

Learn how to "turn on" your "Power Sexuality" right here:

www.middleagedbabemagnet.com



Ha! I added the link to my own website to see if you were paying attention. But the rest of the quote above has not been changed at all.

This “one solution fits all” approach to dating is NOT what I’m about, even though I do offer 92 Babe Magnet Rules throughout the pages of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. What I do believe is that there are many basic things that work for the majority of single men and women, but I would never tell you that there’s ONE MAGIC THING THAT WILL MAKE A WOMAN WANT YOU RIGHT NOW.

But lots of folks are looking for the easy solutions—whether it’s the one perfect thing to say or the one perfect thing to wear or the one perfect rule to follow.

The truth is, the key to dating success—whether you are a man or a woman, is to be yourself. And by that I mean, be the very best version of you that you can be. Guys, sometimes that means getting rid of all those grunge-rock flannels in your wardrobe. (Why? Because women love it when you look like you care about your appearance.)

Women, sometimes that means smiling more and wearing something besides your favorite sweats. (Why? Because men love it when you care enough about your appearance to look your best.)

Now, I’m sure that there’s some value in almost every dating advice book or dating advice package that’s out there. But please don’t think there’s one golden answer or one magic system that will suddenly take you from dweeb to Brad Pitt.

Besides, there’s already one Brad Pitt in the world. What the world really needs is exactly what the very best version of you has to offer.

This is Chad Stone, signing off for now.

 

I Love You, My Little Snookums

Do you have a pet name for your girlfriend? Does your boyfriend have a pet name for you?

If so, you’ve arrived in the Snookums Zone. That’s right, my little CooCoo Butt, Cutie Pie, Honeybunch, Babycakes.

Pet names are as common in relationships as gross-out jokes in Bridesmaids 2. (The movie isn’t out yet, but you can trust me on this, Sweetie.)

But why? Why do we seem to naturally invent cutesy monikers for that special someone in our lives? Pat Love, author of several relationship books including How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It, says pet names create a kind of a boundary around a relationship.

“It’s a way to identify the relationship as exclusive,” says Love. “It’s like an auditory marker.” In other words, when those around you overhear your lovey-dovey conversation, they know you’re committed to each other. (Check out Pat Love’s website here.)

That’s actually pretty cool. The very fact that you have cutesy pet names for each other means that you are in a Relationship, with a capital R. If you’re calling your girlfriend or boyfriend by a pet name, then you better have already pulled your profile from Match.com, let me tell you, Cupcake.

Are there actual benefits derived from using silly, personalized names for our lovers? Apparently, yes. One study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships reported that the more goofy pet names, made-up terms, and covert requests for sexual favors a couple used, the higher their relationship satisfaction tended to be. (Wouldn’t you love to get paid to do a study like that?)

But please, PLEASE, don’t overdue the whole Snookums stuff in front of other people. Pet names are cute to a couple who uses them for each other, but they are so sugary sweet to any other human being that they cause instant diabetic shock and a gagging reflex. (Have you ever noticed how many pet names are variations on sweet things? We’re talking about everything from honey and muffin to sugar and sweet cheeks. It turns out that we humans must really love really sweet foods, and that carries over into the sweet names we give our Cutie Patooties.)

Did you hear what I said, Punkin’ Pie? You’re just so darn cute when you space out and don’t listen to me, aren’t you, my little Goober Lips?

By the way, if you don’t already have a cute pet name for your honey, then check out Pet Name Generator at www.links2love.com/nicknames.htm


This is Chad Stone, the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, signing off. And no, I won’t tell you the pet name that my wife calls me.