Author Chad Stone Talks About and Signs His New Dating Memoir

Book Talk and Signing

I am happy to be talking about Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet and signing books tomorrow in Albuquerque. I have been invited to appear at one of the best independent bookstores in the West, Page One Bookstore, to give a talk and sign copies of my book.

I will start by reading a few passages from the book, which is a good way to introduce the story and my unique perspective on dating and finding love. Then I will open it up to questions so people can learn more about my experiences and whether the book has a happy ending.

Dating After Divorce

One of the questions I'm sure that will be asked is, "Why did you write a book about daving after divorce?" One of the reasons I wrote Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet was because there weren't any books written from the male perspective that dealt with both the highs and lows of the single life. No one had told the story about what it's like to be a single man in the 21st century who is looking for the last love of his life.

I wanted to write a book that talked honestly about these things:

-- What do men want?
-- What do women want?
-- Do men and women want basically the same things?
-- What is it like in the "Dating Over 50" world?
-- Can you find true love at any ages?
-- Sex and the single adult
-- Tips for online dating
-- What skills are necessary to win and woo a woman
-- What are men thinking-- really?

To help promote my book signing event, I appeared on the Good Day New Mexico TV show on Friday. You can watch the clip here: Chad Stone on TV

So if you can make it to Page One Bookstore on Sunday, Oct. 28 at 2:30 pm, please come by!

Author Chad Stone talks about his book about dating, "Confessions of a Middle Aged Babe Magnet"

Chad Stone
Book signing and discussion
"Confessions of a Middle Aged Babe Magnet"
October 28 at 2:30 p.m.

Page One Bookstore
11018 Montgomery Blvd NE
Albuquerque, NM

Why don’t women understand men?

Why don’t women understand men? Is it because men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, as author John Gray says?




Well, sort of.



Men and women ARE hardwired differently, so men behave like men, and women behave like women. And one dramatic difference in this hardwiring is that women seem to be a lot more interested in understanding men than men are in understanding women.



Why do I say this? I got myself on an email list that offers a steady stream of dating advice for women. Along with that is a steady stream of free advice is a steady stream of offers to buy “foolproof” guides that contain magical secrets to finding men, getting them to fall in love with you and getting them to commit to you forever and ever, amen.



Here are just some of the phrases that are used in these sales pitches”



“understand any man”

“learn how to say the words that will get him to commit”

“the ultimate guide to the male mind”

“overcome frustrations with men”

“connect with a man on a deep emotional level”

“what you should never say to a man”

“the secret to getting him to love you for who you are”

“touch the primal part of his mind”

“miraculous results”

“relationships are the only source of true happiness”



Based upon the phrases used in these sales pitches, women are frustrated by men, and they want desperately to understand men. They want expert dating advice, and they are willing to pay for it. One guide that offers information about “The Respect Principle” is just 31 pages long and sells for $47. (By the way, the Respect Principle says that men would rather be respected than loved, which is, by and large, true for the majority of men.)



So women are willing to spend $47 for a short guide that helps them understand men, while men are content with $10 books that tell them how to pick up women.



Let me tell you a little secret. Men and women will never fully understand each other. Never. But that’s OK, because the differences in the sexes is what makes relationships so deliciously wonderful when they work. But the key to any relationship—and the key to understanding as much as you can about the opposite sex—is communication.



Talk to each other. Tell her what you want. Ask him how he wants to be treated. Tell her how you feel. Share with him what you love about him. Why? Because communication is the key to relationship happiness.



This is Chad Stone, author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, signing off.

10 Things a Guy Will Never Ask About a Power Tool

Sometimes women need a glimpse into the mind of a typical man. Otherwise, the typical woman has no clue what's bouncing around inside a man's head.

So, in the interest of enhancing communications between the sexes--and because I thought this list was both true and funny, I present this list of 10 Things a Guy Will Never Ask About a Power Tool:

1. How does it work?

2. Why do I need it?

3. Is protective eyewear needed?

4. Are there instructions?

5. Can I use it to open a bottle? (Guys will assume it will.)

6. Can I save money by renting it?

7. Is it dangerous?

8. Is there a smaller, less powerful option?

‎9. Is it available in seafoam green?

10. Does it make my butt look big?

:-)
That's all for today. Chad Stone, author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, signing off.

What Do Online Profiles Reveal About Us?

Have you ever tried online dating? If you've been single in the past decade, the answer is probably yes. According to recent surveys, about 20% of couples who have recently become couples met online. Yours truly, Chad Stone, included.

R. Luke DuBois, who describes himself as a New York City-based "artist and computer programmer," wondered what our online profiles reveal about us. He analyzed profiles from 21 top dating sites and broke them into individual zip codes. Then he determined where certain words appeared more often than anywhere else.

Fascinating idea, huh?

Some of the results were fairly predicatable. The words "acting" and "vegetarian" appeared most often in Southern California. "Gay" and "grass" were popular words used in Northern California online profiles. "Mullet" was used most often in Alabama, as was "prayer." "Sox" (as in Red Sox) topped the list in the Boston area. "Casino" and "cathouse" and "gambling" were commonly used in Nevada's online profiles.

But then there were plenty of surprising and/or bizarre results in Mr. DuBois's statistics. "Marshmallow" was a popular word in Iowa-- hopefully not to describe people's bodies. "Curvy" was the big word in Louisiana, and that WAS probably used to describe female bodies. "Wet," "hard," "cougar," and "picky" were all popular in Washington State, but probably not in the same sentence. "Gal" was a popular word used to describe women in North Dakota. (I didn't know anyone still used that word.) And singles in Texas used the word "bust" more than anywhere else.

So, what can we learn from these results? Maybe that the USA is an enormous country that is far from being homogenous. Regional differences still rule-- and I think that's a very good thing.

But no matter where you are single in America, you're in good company. We're all looking for "love."

NOTE: Check back next week for info about my upcoming book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone!

What Do Singles Think About Sex and Marriage?

Single people across America have spoken, and they don’t all want to get married. The recently released Singles in America survey asked 5,541 single adults in the USA aged 21 and over about their dating habits, sexual habits and opinions about marriage.

And the survey said…

When asked, “Do you want to get married?,” 27.0 percent said No, 38.6 percent weren’t sure, and 34 percent said Yes. That’s not exactly an overwhelming vote for the institution of marriage. But it’s not a total surprise, either.

Society’s rigid beliefs about the necessity of marriage (especially the need for marriage before having sex) have softened considerably since the dawn of the Sexual Revolution in the 1960s. With the social stigma of cohabitating largely removed, many single adults—especially younger ones—are simply choosing to live together without the formality of a marriage license. Even so, the majority of younger single adults still see marriage in their futures. Among singles aged 21 to 39, 62 percent of women and 56 percent of men want to eventually get married.

So what are singles looking for in a long-term romantic partner? 13 percent of women and 7 percent of men said they “must have” a partner of the same religion. 36 percent of women and 13 percent of men must have someone who makes as much money as they do.

What were the top “deal breakers” in a possible romantic partner? In order of importance: 67 percent said having a disheveled or unclean appearance, 66 percent said laziness, 63 percent said being too needy, 54 percent said having no sense of humor, and 49 percent said living more than three hours apart. (That’s really bad news for lazy slobs who need constant reassurance, don’t think Modern Family is the funniest show on TV and live far, far way.)

The Singles in America survey also revealed that first dates are often highly sexual. More than half (55 percent) of singles said they have had sex on the first date (66 percent of men and 44 percent of women). Some experts say that the popularity of online dating is partly responsible for sexy first dates. But the time they have a first physical date, many online dating singles have exchanged plenty of emails and talked often on the phone, which may be the equivalent of three dates. So by the time they meet in person, all of this online sharing can result in highly sexually charged first dates.

And yes, online dating is a force to be reckoned with. According to the survey, 21 percent of singles met the last person they dated online—the most common way of meeting cited in the survey.

So are there any surprises in the survey results for you? What’s the biggest relationship deal-breaker for you? And what is the number one Must Have in your next significant other?

Please leave a comment, and I will share some additional thoughts about dating must-haves and deal breakers in a future post on the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet blog. Until then, this is Chad Stone, signing off.

p.s. Also check out my Advice for Men posts on www.datingwithoutdrama.com

Two Secrets About Men

Talk to any woman, and she will tell you that men don’t understand women. But what women don’t know is that they don’t have a clue about men, either.

According to dating expert Kara Oh, most women don’t have a clue about two vitally important secrets about how to date and win the heart of a man.

Secret #1: A Woman Must Use Her Feminine Grace. That means a woman must keep her emotional reactions to herself, or share then with a trusted girlfriend. She SHOULD NOT reveal all of her emotions to the man she wants to romance (lest she scare him away).

Here are some more tips on using Feminine Grace:

* Be gracious

* Communicate with your heart

* Expect him to treat you with respect and consideration

* When you behave in this way, you will be on your way to making him
feel good to be around you.


Secret #2: Make Him Feel Like a Man. Too few women how important this secret really is. Sure, they may do this in the beginning of a relationship because they are excited about a new man. But, unfortunately, once they become comfortable in their relationship, they tend to start making him feel like LESS of a man.

How big a mistake is this? It’s a deal breaker for most men. Admittedly, most men do not realize right away what is going on when the woman starts to pick away at his manhood by criticizing him and trying to mold him into something new. But soon he realizes that the woman he is with is starting to make him feel bad—not wonderful. A man wants to please the woman of his dreams. But she can’t be pleased. What man wants to be around a woman who makes him feel like he's a failure?

Here are Kara Oh’s suggestions for making a man feel like a man:


* Let him know good a man you think he is

* Let him know how considerate he is

* Let him know how smart you think he is

* Let him know strong and capable he is


Why? Because he wants to be your hero and this will tell him he is. By the way, if he isn't someone you can appreciate, then he's not the man for you.

When a man feels good whenever he's around you, then he will be drawn to you like bees to their favorite flower. Does this mean she waits on him like a servant? No. It's more a matter of appreciating him as a man.

So, what do you think of this advice? Is it old-fashioned and crazy? Or is it classic brilliance that is just as true today as it was hundreds of years ago?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

-Chad Stone (affectionately known as the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet)

When Should a Man Call?

I ran into a friend of mine the other day. The last time I saw him was at a wedding, and he had struck up a conversation with a nice single woman. Things had gone so well that he had left with her phone number.

That was three months ago. He still hasn’t called her. “Do you think it’s too late to give her a call?” he asked me.

I wanted to slap him upside the head.

Yes, you clueless man, three months is too late to call. By now, she probably has forgotten who you are. And if she still remembers you, it’s only because she’s still pissed that you didn’t call.

There’s a bit a folk wisdom among single men called the Three Day Rule. According to the Three Day Rule, a man should wait three days before calling a woman after he has gotten her phone number. Men think that waiting for three days shows women that they are not desperate or needy. They think waiting three days communicates manlymanness. (That’s a word that I just made up, by the way. Sometimes manly men make up their own words.)

I used to agree with the Three Day Rule. It made me feel manly. But not anymore.

Why did I change my mind? I talked to some women, and they all told me the Three Day Rule was really stupid. In fact, it was so stupid that it must have been invented by a man.

These women told me, “If I am interested in a man, I want to hear from him. I don’t want to wait three days. If he waits for three days, then that tells me he’s not as interested in me as I am in him.”

After that, I never again waited three days to call a woman. Usually, I called the next day. And I can tell you, I never got a single complaint from a woman telling me that I called her too soon.

What do you think about the Three Day Rule? I’d like to hear your opinions—so please comment! Thanks for reading.


Signing off for now,
Chad Stone
(sometimes known as the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet)
Also check out my Advice from Men columns on www.datingwithoutdrama.com