The Best Dating and Relationship Advice Ever

There’s a lot of wisdom on the Internet, if you know where to find it. Whenever I find a great piece of advice about finding love or how to have a great relationship, I try to pass it along.

Here’s a round-up of great dating and relationship advice that I am delighted to share with you. This might even be the best dating advice ever!

The Best Dating Advice from Mom
My mother says nothing good happens after 11 p.m. That was a good one. If he’s calling you for an 11:15 p.m. booty call, or telling you “I have dinner with my clients … won’t be back till 11:45,” — no, not happening. Also, always leave him wanting more.

  --Patti Stanger, “The Millionaire Matchmaker”

Tell People You’re Single

“A lot of times, people don’t know that you want to be set up,” said Amy Laurent, a dating expert. “If you’re really going to do this (being successful at finding love), bring it up to people and say, ‘I’m ready to put myself out there and start dating.’” Get the word out and make it official, she advises. “You never know where opportunities are going to come up.”
  --Amy Laurent, author of 8 Weeks to Everlasting: How to Get (and Keep) the Guy You Want

 

Five Things to Remember About Dating
1. It’s supposed to be fun! Just relax and enjoy! Stay present and enjoy your date’s company.
2. It’s not about your date’s inadequacies, it’s about what you have in common
3. Cut your date some slack. Nobody’s perfect, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have something to offer.
 4. Dating should be easy. It you’re with someone that it doesn’t flow with, it’s probably not the right person.
5. The more open you are, the more possibilities, choices and options await you.
  -- http://thedatingadvicegirl.com

 

Advice for Women: Compliment Him
“If a woman says that her dish is, for example, too salty, she will think nothing of talking negatively about the food, or even extend the conversation about why the kitchen staff is not more careful in their use of spices. If it were two women sharing an evening out, complaining about the food or service is perfectly fine, because talking about problems is a bonding experience on Venus.  However on Mars, men tie their egos to the choices they make. This is never truer than in the case of a restaurant that they have chosen. Now if on the other hand, a woman says, “Wow this place is a real find! I love the way they do their chicken….” In a man’s mind, he’s scored major points. It’s as if he went into the kitchen and cooked that meal himself.”

  -- John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

 

Advice for Men: Cultivate Your Confidence
“When I am asked, ‘What is the single most important tip for men when they want to meet the woman of their dreams?’ I always quote my own Babe Magnet Rule #14: Babe Magnets are confident and sure of themselves. Even if they have to fake it. That doesn’t mean a man should be conceited and all full of himself. But women are attracted to a man who has quiet confidence and is comfortable in his own skin.”

-- Chad Stone, author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, www.middleagedbabemagnet.com

 

What Love Is
“Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.”
  -- Source Unknown
 

Take Your Breath Away

“In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.”
 -- Shing Xiong

 

Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, available from www.amazon.com.

 

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Talking about dating with the Broadminded Women

Yesterday I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Molly and Christine on the Broadminded show on Sirus XM radio. Both ladies were smart, funny and excellent interviewers. We talked about my book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone, and we had a great time.

It was fun to share my dating experiences with Molly and Christine, who are both currently single. They wanted to know what women are doing wrong in the dating world, and that naturally began a discussion of online dating.

I told the ladies that most women don't realized that their online dating profiles aren't about sharing, they're about selling. That's right, online dating profiles are sales brochures. And the product you're selling is yourself. (This goes for men, too.)

Instead of sharing all about your darkest inner secrets, you online profile should present your very best attributes. Start with a nice photo of yourself. Get someone who knows how to take a good photo to take some head shots of you. (And no, Molly and Christine, I am not talking about a "boudior" photo like the ones you get at the mall photo studios.) Smile, for God's sake. Look happy and friendly.

Then, when you are describing yourself, don't go off on a rant about how you know what you want and know what you're willing to put up with in a man, "so don't ask me to compromise because I won't." Does that sound like the kind of woman that a man is going to approach? No way.

Write a profile that makes you sound fun. Write a profile that makes you sound like a man can woo you and make you happy. One of the things that women simply don't understand about men is that men love to please their women. So if you sound like a woman who is cranky and impossible to please, then you might as well be spreading Man Repellent around. The men will stay away in droves.

As I told Molly and Christine on their show, I firmly believe that all of us-- no matter how old we are or what our relationship experience is-- can find love. But in order for that to happen, we've got to BELIEVE it can happen, and then we have to do everything possible to MAKE it happen.

For lots more on this topic and advice about dating, go to amazon.com and by my book. Then write to me and tell me what you think of it. I'd love to know if my advice and my experience is helpful for you.

That's it for now. The Middle-Aged Babe Magnet has left the building.

:-)

What Do Online Profiles Reveal About Us?

Have you ever tried online dating? If you've been single in the past decade, the answer is probably yes. According to recent surveys, about 20% of couples who have recently become couples met online. Yours truly, Chad Stone, included.

R. Luke DuBois, who describes himself as a New York City-based "artist and computer programmer," wondered what our online profiles reveal about us. He analyzed profiles from 21 top dating sites and broke them into individual zip codes. Then he determined where certain words appeared more often than anywhere else.

Fascinating idea, huh?

Some of the results were fairly predicatable. The words "acting" and "vegetarian" appeared most often in Southern California. "Gay" and "grass" were popular words used in Northern California online profiles. "Mullet" was used most often in Alabama, as was "prayer." "Sox" (as in Red Sox) topped the list in the Boston area. "Casino" and "cathouse" and "gambling" were commonly used in Nevada's online profiles.

But then there were plenty of surprising and/or bizarre results in Mr. DuBois's statistics. "Marshmallow" was a popular word in Iowa-- hopefully not to describe people's bodies. "Curvy" was the big word in Louisiana, and that WAS probably used to describe female bodies. "Wet," "hard," "cougar," and "picky" were all popular in Washington State, but probably not in the same sentence. "Gal" was a popular word used to describe women in North Dakota. (I didn't know anyone still used that word.) And singles in Texas used the word "bust" more than anywhere else.

So, what can we learn from these results? Maybe that the USA is an enormous country that is far from being homogenous. Regional differences still rule-- and I think that's a very good thing.

But no matter where you are single in America, you're in good company. We're all looking for "love."

NOTE: Check back next week for info about my upcoming book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone!

Do Pick Up Lines Really Work?

Sooner or later in the world of singlehood, the topic of pick up lines comes up. Many men want to find the ultimate, perfect thing to say to a woman. You know, the line that stops a woman in her tracks, makes her smile, and convinces her that you are worthy of serious consideration as dating material.

So, do pick-up lines actually work? Sorry guys, but the answer is no. There is no perfect line for every occasion and for every woman. God forbid, you use a "canned line" on a woman (such as, "Did it hurt?" and she says, "Did what hurt?" and then you say, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?")-- and she laughs in your face because she thinks you're such a dweeb.

Since pick-up lines are always good fodder for blog posts, I was interested to hear from the folks at www.topdatingsites.com that they had posted a blog story about the Top 10 online pickup lines.

So I read the story. Some of the "lines" were mildly clever. I suppose that, when sent to the right woman in the right context, "You give great email" could strike the right tone between playful and provocative. And "Have I met you before?" is a great way to get an online conversation going.

But some of the "Top 10" were just lame. Who is going to believe "You look like Halle Berry only hotter"? And asking for her astrological sign? Didn't that go out of style in 1975?

The story did nothing to convince me that using predetermined pickup lines is a good way to impress anyone. The best way to impress someone is to be your honest, good-natured self. (Sorry, but if you're not honest or good natured, you are basically screwed.)

By the way, according to my limited experience and friend-to-friend research, the best pickup line ever is "Hello" delivered with a genuine smile. Then introduce yourself.

Try it. It works.

Where Are All the Good Men/Women?

How many times have you heard this: "Where are all the good men (women)?" The answer is simple: everywhere.

One of the best pieces of dating advice I ever received was that I should go out and do what I like to do. I would meet a wonderful woman who was doing the same thing, and we would have at least one thing in common. This works, based upon the personal experiences of many friends.

That's not exactly the way it worked for me. I went down the cyber pathway. I joined an online dating site. Yep, I met my fiancee on match.com.

According to a 2006 report by the Pew Research Center, 26% of Americans know someone who has found a date online. Today's figure is probably quite a bit higher.

There are now more than 800 dating web sites from which to choose. Match.com is probably the best known, because that's the site that started it all. But Yahoo Personals actually has more participants. You can join Beliefnet.com, SoulMatch.com, WealthyMen.com, blacksingles.com, christianmingle.com, jdate.com (for Jewish singles), cougarwomen.net, starmatch.com (I'm a Libra!), and hundreds more. At any moment there will be BowlingSingles.com and LeftHandedPingPongSingles.com.

My point is simply this: there is not shortage of ways to meet someone. Just make up your mind that you are going to meet the perfect person for you, and get out there (either literally or online). Don't be one of those people whose relationship is with the excuse that the right person isn't out there.

End of my sermon. What do you think?

Dating Success Story!

Good news, fellow daters. I am now a dating success story. My wonderful girlfriend (who I met on match.com) has agreed to marry me! So you can now call me a dating success story.

Consequently, I am now going to change the focus of this blog. I am going to share some insights on the dating process. I am going to share what worked for me--and what has worked for others. I am going to explore the adventure of middle-aged dating from the perspective of how to succeed.

My goal in dating (online or otherwise) was always to find the love of my life. I assume that your goal is also to find the love of your life. So feel free to ask questions. Feel free to make comments. I will try to pass along my dating wisdom, my relationship advice, and whatever words of encouragement that I can provide. Not that I know everything. But I have learned a few things about male-female relationships, and I'm a very good listener.

Remember always that life is an adventure. There is humor to be found throughout our adventures. Just keep your eyes open, your heart open, and look for the best in people. If you look for love, you will find it.

A Middle-Aged Babe Magnet Apology

I have been informed by a woman whose opinion I value greatly that my last post sucked. She said it was crass and an insult to women. She was offended by it.

OK. I have my Big Boy Boxers on and I can take a little criticism. I freely admit that the last post was deliberately over the top. I went over the line in an attempt to be funny. I included material that wasn’t true because it was meant as a joke. As I have learned over the years, funny is often in the eyes of the beholder.

Sometimes it comes back to bite you in the butt. Like now.

This is, by the way, why I would never make it as a politician. It wouldn’t take long for me to put my foot in my mouth and cause a scandal of global proportions.

So let’s take a moment to review the last post. The part about me receiving an email from eHarmony? It was a total fabrication. I repeated the text of a forwarded email that I received. I thought it was funny, in a crass, over-the-top, juvenile male way.

Women do not share this sense of humor. Consequently, I won’t be including any more of it in this blog.

Men, if you want to read sexually explicit jokes, you’re just going to have to go somewhere else. Sorry.

I was also “called on the carpet” for suggesting that online dating was for losers. (Actually, I quoted a female friend who told me that SHE THOUGHT online dating was for losers.)

Well, I don’t agree with her. As I said earlier, if she’s right then I’M A LOSER, TOO. She is entitled to her opinion, but I happen to think that online dating is a wonderful resource. What a great way to quickly peruse profiles of dozens of local single people in your local area. When used intelligently, online dating sites are a great way to get to know people you might not otherwise ever meet. Online dating is fabulous invention, and I have used it successfully myself.

And, no, I do not really think that women who use online dating sites are “loose.” That was also an attempt at a joke.

So, ladies, please do not be any more offended than you need to be. I meant it all in fun. I know that dating is tough enough without having to deal with male a-holes, but sometimes we (including me) just can’t help ourselves.

Hey, did you hear the one about the priest and the blind prostitute?

Oh, wait. Nevermind.