The Best Dating and Relationship Advice Ever

There’s a lot of wisdom on the Internet, if you know where to find it. Whenever I find a great piece of advice about finding love or how to have a great relationship, I try to pass it along.

Here’s a round-up of great dating and relationship advice that I am delighted to share with you. This might even be the best dating advice ever!

The Best Dating Advice from Mom
My mother says nothing good happens after 11 p.m. That was a good one. If he’s calling you for an 11:15 p.m. booty call, or telling you “I have dinner with my clients … won’t be back till 11:45,” — no, not happening. Also, always leave him wanting more.

  --Patti Stanger, “The Millionaire Matchmaker”

Tell People You’re Single

“A lot of times, people don’t know that you want to be set up,” said Amy Laurent, a dating expert. “If you’re really going to do this (being successful at finding love), bring it up to people and say, ‘I’m ready to put myself out there and start dating.’” Get the word out and make it official, she advises. “You never know where opportunities are going to come up.”
  --Amy Laurent, author of 8 Weeks to Everlasting: How to Get (and Keep) the Guy You Want

 

Five Things to Remember About Dating
1. It’s supposed to be fun! Just relax and enjoy! Stay present and enjoy your date’s company.
2. It’s not about your date’s inadequacies, it’s about what you have in common
3. Cut your date some slack. Nobody’s perfect, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have something to offer.
 4. Dating should be easy. It you’re with someone that it doesn’t flow with, it’s probably not the right person.
5. The more open you are, the more possibilities, choices and options await you.
  -- http://thedatingadvicegirl.com

 

Advice for Women: Compliment Him
“If a woman says that her dish is, for example, too salty, she will think nothing of talking negatively about the food, or even extend the conversation about why the kitchen staff is not more careful in their use of spices. If it were two women sharing an evening out, complaining about the food or service is perfectly fine, because talking about problems is a bonding experience on Venus.  However on Mars, men tie their egos to the choices they make. This is never truer than in the case of a restaurant that they have chosen. Now if on the other hand, a woman says, “Wow this place is a real find! I love the way they do their chicken….” In a man’s mind, he’s scored major points. It’s as if he went into the kitchen and cooked that meal himself.”

  -- John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

 

Advice for Men: Cultivate Your Confidence
“When I am asked, ‘What is the single most important tip for men when they want to meet the woman of their dreams?’ I always quote my own Babe Magnet Rule #14: Babe Magnets are confident and sure of themselves. Even if they have to fake it. That doesn’t mean a man should be conceited and all full of himself. But women are attracted to a man who has quiet confidence and is comfortable in his own skin.”

-- Chad Stone, author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, www.middleagedbabemagnet.com

 

What Love Is
“Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.”
  -- Source Unknown
 

Take Your Breath Away

“In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.”
 -- Shing Xiong

 

Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, available from www.amazon.com.

 

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Is He Ready for a Relationship?

One of the things about dating that we have very little control over is timing. When you meet someone who seems like the perfect romantic partner for you, are you at a point in your life when you ready for him? When he meets you, is he ready to begin a new relationship?

Determining whether you are both ready to begin a relationship is one of the most important things to discover during the first few dates.

When Ralph met Candace, he was quite sure that HE was ready. He had been divorced for three years, and he had done quite a bit of dating. He had sowed a few wild oats, and he was ready to settle down.

Ralph was instantly attracted to Candace and she seemed to share his feelings. He saw in Candace everything he wanted in a mate—kindness, a successful career, physical beauty and common interests. But she spent most of their first date telling him the details of her divorce.

Candace and her ex-husband had been devastated by the death of their only child, and their marriage was on the rocks. At her suggestion, they started going to meetings at a local spiritual center. As it turned out, she didn’t care for it, but he embraced it. He started attending the meetings regularly, and then he started meditating. He stopped drinking. “We were getting along better than we had in years,” she said.

Then he took her completely by surprise when he announced that he wanted a divorce. “I laughed out loud because I thought he was kidding,” she said. But he was serious.

Before the end of their first date together, Ralph had the “aha” moment: Candace wasn’t ready for a relationship with him. She wasn’t ready for a relationship with ANYONE. She was still heartbroken, and she needed more time to heal.

Chances are that you’ve also had an “aha” moment during a date when you knew that the person on the other side of the table wasn’t going to be the one you’ve been looking for. The sooner you can find that out, the better. Ralph counts himself lucky for finding it out on date one with Candace.

When a man isn’t ready to commit to a relationship, he will be hard to pin down. When you ask him direct questions about things like his schedule or his goals for the future, he will respond with vague answers or deftly change the subject.

One of the big mistakes that women make is trying to coax men into discussions about relationships and commitment. These are important topics, and women want to talk about them. Men, however, would rather volunteer for a root canal.

Here’s the key, ladies: Men only commit when they think it’s THEIR IDEA. Yes, you can express how important a committed relationship is to you, and how you like to shower your man with love and adoration when you feel the safety and security that a long-term relationship offers. But if you push too hard and too soon for a commitment, he will run away like a man fleeing from a burning dynamite factory.

So maybe the question isn’t, “Is he ready for a relationship?” Maybe the real question is, “Can you wait until he is ready for a relationship?” If you can’t, then you might be happier if you moved on.

If you're ready to read something about the lighter side of dating, have a look at my new book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone. It's available from amazon.com.

What Do Singles Think About Sex and Marriage?

Single people across America have spoken, and they don’t all want to get married. The recently released Singles in America survey asked 5,541 single adults in the USA aged 21 and over about their dating habits, sexual habits and opinions about marriage.

And the survey said…

When asked, “Do you want to get married?,” 27.0 percent said No, 38.6 percent weren’t sure, and 34 percent said Yes. That’s not exactly an overwhelming vote for the institution of marriage. But it’s not a total surprise, either.

Society’s rigid beliefs about the necessity of marriage (especially the need for marriage before having sex) have softened considerably since the dawn of the Sexual Revolution in the 1960s. With the social stigma of cohabitating largely removed, many single adults—especially younger ones—are simply choosing to live together without the formality of a marriage license. Even so, the majority of younger single adults still see marriage in their futures. Among singles aged 21 to 39, 62 percent of women and 56 percent of men want to eventually get married.

So what are singles looking for in a long-term romantic partner? 13 percent of women and 7 percent of men said they “must have” a partner of the same religion. 36 percent of women and 13 percent of men must have someone who makes as much money as they do.

What were the top “deal breakers” in a possible romantic partner? In order of importance: 67 percent said having a disheveled or unclean appearance, 66 percent said laziness, 63 percent said being too needy, 54 percent said having no sense of humor, and 49 percent said living more than three hours apart. (That’s really bad news for lazy slobs who need constant reassurance, don’t think Modern Family is the funniest show on TV and live far, far way.)

The Singles in America survey also revealed that first dates are often highly sexual. More than half (55 percent) of singles said they have had sex on the first date (66 percent of men and 44 percent of women). Some experts say that the popularity of online dating is partly responsible for sexy first dates. But the time they have a first physical date, many online dating singles have exchanged plenty of emails and talked often on the phone, which may be the equivalent of three dates. So by the time they meet in person, all of this online sharing can result in highly sexually charged first dates.

And yes, online dating is a force to be reckoned with. According to the survey, 21 percent of singles met the last person they dated online—the most common way of meeting cited in the survey.

So are there any surprises in the survey results for you? What’s the biggest relationship deal-breaker for you? And what is the number one Must Have in your next significant other?

Please leave a comment, and I will share some additional thoughts about dating must-haves and deal breakers in a future post on the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet blog. Until then, this is Chad Stone, signing off.

p.s. Also check out my Advice for Men posts on www.datingwithoutdrama.com

The Myth of the Noncommittal Male

Answer this question: are men or women less likely to commit to a long-term relationship?

You said men, didn't you?

That's the prevailing wisdom, but that's not necessarily correct. According to what TIME magazine calls "the biggest study of single people, ever," single men are just as likely to want to get married as single women.

Shocking, huh?

Not if you understand men. Yes, sometimes they can be flakey, elusive and hard to pin down. But once a man falls for a woman, he REALLY falls. And that's when a man is MORE LIKELY to want to commit to a long-term relationship than a woman.

The aforementioned study surveyed 5,200 people ages 21 to 65+ to find out why people commit to marriage-- and why they don't. The study was funded by match.com and carried out by independent researchers. The findings showed that men were more likely to want to get married when they were younger (in the 21-24 years-old range) and when they were older (about 55 to 65). In between, women were more likely to say they wanted to get married. But throughout the entire 21-65 years curve, the difference between men's and women's desires for marriage weren't all that different.

Other interesting info from this study:

-- More than half the single men ages 21 to 35 wanted kids, while only 46% of women did.

-- Women seem to value their independence more than men. For example, 66% of women in a relationship have their own bank account, while only 47% of men do.

-- Women are pickier about whom they date than men are. 83% of men are flexible about the religious beliefs of their dates, while 62% of women are.

Is the 21 century really a brave new world for dating and commitments? Perhaps. Our post-modern society has given women lots of options besides marriage. Many women are opting for the career life rather than the "mom and wife" life. And there's nothing wrong with either choice.

So ladies, if you think that men are all a bunch of jerks who run away from any sign of a long-term committed relationship, please think again. Don't paint us all with the same brush. Some of us are just fine with making commitments-- including saying goodbye to dating and "I do" to marriage.