Two secrets women need to know about men

 

Talk to any woman, and she will tell you that men don’t understand women. That’s because men can be clueless—and that’s no big secret. (I am a man, and I can say this in all honesty.) But I’ll let you in on a little secret women need to know about men. Many women don’t know that they don’t have a clue about men, either.

 

According to dating expert Kara Oh, most women don’t have a clue about two vitally important secrets about how to date and win the heart of a man. I call these the two secrets that women need to know about men in order to attract the right man—and keep him interested.

Is LOVE in the cards for you? It can be--but only if you know the rules of the game.

 

Secret #1: A Woman Must Use Her Feminine Ways

What does it mean for a woman to use her feminine ways? It means simply this: most men can’t handle a woman’s emotional power. Women must realize that their emotions are too powerful a force for most men to understand. This emotional power shorts out a man’s brain circuits and sends him running for cover.

 

As a result, a woman needs to keep her emotional reactions to herself, or share then with a trusted girlfriend. She SHOULD NOT reveal all of her emotions to the man she wants to romance. Truly, the power of a woman’s emotions is more than a man can handle. His mind is hardwired for logic and problem solving. Men don’t understand emotions and process life through their emotions the way women do.   

 

The answer for women? Learn to regulate your feminine power with feminine grace. Outsmart him by giving him just what his ego wants. At the same time, use your feminine grace to set the ground rules so he will know how you want to be treated. (Men appreciate knowing what “the rules” are—and they respond by trying to please you.)

Here are some more tips on how to convert your feminine power to feminine grace:

 

• Be gracious. Grace leads to graciousness. Men don’t get a lot of graciousness from the men in their lives, so they crave it from women.

• Speak from the heart, but don’t overload his brain with too much emotion. He wants to feel your emotion—he really does. He just doesn’t want to be overwhelmed by it.

• Expect him to treat you with consideration and respect. That’s what you deserve, and you should not settle for anything less.

 

When you turn on your feminine charms, you will find that there is real power in controlling your feminine energy. Use this secret to behave from your source of feminine power and he will feel good to be around you. And that’s crucial in getting him to come back for more.

 

Secret #2: Make Him Feel Like a Man

Why is this secret that women need to know so secret? Probably because too few women know how important this secret really is. Sure, women may make a man feel manly in the beginning of a relationship because they are excited about a new man. But, unfortunately, once they become comfortable in their relationship, they tend to start making him feel like LESS like a man.

 

How big a mistake is this? It’s a deal breaker for most men. Instead of continuing to use their feminine power in the form of feminine grace, too many women start to chip away at a man’s masculine ego by criticizing him and trying to turn him into something different. (Something better, right ladies?) A man wants to please his woman, so he will go along with some of the changes. But after a while most men will realize that the woman he is with is starting to make him feel bad about himself—not wonderful. Trust me, a man wants to please the woman of his dreams. But what if she can’t be pleased? Then he feels like a failure. What man wants to be around a woman who makes him feel like he is a failure?

 

Here are Kara Oh’s suggestions for making a man feel like a man:

 

• Let him know how good a man you think he is. Tell him with your eyes, your smile, and your kind words. Tell him he makes you feel like a lady.

• Let him know how considerate he is—and let him know how much that pleases you.

• Let him know how smart you think he is. Stroke his ego a little. It might sound a little manipulative, and maybe it is. But as a man, yours truly Chad Stone can speak on behalf of men. For more on this topic, check out my book Babe MagnetRules of Dating Over 50.

Let him know strong and capable he is. (It’s beginning to sound like men are just big, insecure babies on the inside. Well ladies, they are.) 

 

Basically, it comes down to this: a man wants to be his woman’s hero. We all want to be the charming prince who comes to a beautiful damsel’s rescue. Men want to live the fairy tale, too. And by the way, ladies, if he is not the kind of man you can honestly appreciate, then he IS NOT the man for you.

 

Would you rather be happy? Or would you rather be right--and not find the man of your dreams?

Does this advice sound hopeless old-fashioned? Does it sound crazy to behave like this in the 21^st century? Not if you want the man of your dreams. Dating IS old-fashioned. Relationships ARE based largely upon centuries of old-fashioned behaviors. If you want to get a great man and live happily ever after, you’ve got to use your feminine power in a gracious and graceful way.

 

So, what do you think of this advice? Is it old-fashioned and crazy? Or is it classic brilliance that is just as true today as it was hundreds of years ago?

 

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Please comment and let me know if you think I’m crazy—or not.

 

Sincerely,

 

Chad Stone (affectionately known as the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet)

5 Ways Men Kill Relationships

There are at least 5 ways that men kill relationships. Who am I kidding? There are probably 500. No wonder this woman looks so cranky.

Men aren’t always good at relationships. Sometimes men do stupid things to kill relationships. It says so right here in the “Duh” file. Sometimes men can be focused things like work and forget they have to invest some time and emotional energy in their love relationships. Sometimes men expect women to be just as simple as men are—which can really kill a relationship.

There are lots of relationship-killing behaviors that men cluelessly use to chase their women away. These relationship killers, when used excessively, can be described as relationship-killing personality types.

So here are five ways that men act that kill relationships.When they act like the characters that I describe below, women hit the road.

 

Mr. Needy

The first way that men kill relationships is by behaving like a needy, wimpy man. This is not attractive to a woman. In fact, it’s a complete turn-off. Most women are attracted to the masculine traits of strength, decisiveness, leadership and vision. When a woman lists what she’s looking for in a man, she never says, “I want a man with no self confidence and no friends, who needs my undivided attention constantly.” One of the reasons a man can turn into Mr. Needy is he falls for the woman before she falls for him. When that happens, he needs to make sure he doesn’t get whiny and wimpy.

 

The Baggage Man

We all arrive in a new relationship with some baggage. Some of us arrive on a first or second date with enough baggage for an around the world cruise. Some of us arrive with just a small overnight bag, and we tuck it under the table and never mention it.  Mr. Baggage Man doesn’t just have a lot of baggage—he’s attached to it. It defines who he is. He might have a bag packed with all of his broken-heart wounds. Another is filled with how “bad and wrong” women are. And he always seems to be comparing his new girlfriend to his last lover.

It’s human nature to do a little comparing. As you get to know a new lover, you can’t help but compare her to your last girlfriend. But gentlemen, keep it to yourself. Most women do not want to hear about how they measure up to the last wife or girlfriend. When Mr. Baggage Man says, “My ex-wife always loved my jokes” or “My old girlfriend liked it when I sat around watching football on TV,” he doesn’t realize that he’s about to have another ex-girlfriend.

 

Mr. Tool

Calling a man a “tool” is not a compliment. We’re not talking about a guy who can fix anything around the house. Mr. Tool thinks he’s God’s gift to women. He is hot and he knows it. Of course, he’s never as hot as he thinks he is, but you can’t convince him of that. Mr. Tool is so full of himself that he thinks every woman should be flattered just to be in his presence. Because of his inflated opinion of himself, he usually treats women like crap. Sure, some women will put up with this kind of behavior for a while—as long as Mr. Tool looks like Brad Pitt and can show her a good time. But there’s a reason that Mr. Tool has a long string of relationships that don’t last very long. When you’re a jerk, no one wants to be around you.

 

Mama’s Boy

A woman wants a man who acts like a man. Men are supposed to make their own decisions and be responsible for themselves. It’s a real turn-off for a woman when she sees a man who still clings to his mother’s apron strings. It’s one thing for a man to treat his mother with respect and talk to her regularly about what’s going on in his life. But when he starts cancelling dates or previous commitments with his girlfriend so he can run over to his mother’s house to change a light bulb, that’s Mama’s Boy territory. Unfortunately, ladies, Mama can really turn on the guilt machine to get her Mama’s Boy to do what she wants. It’s really hard to compete with that. If he’s too much of a Mama’s Boy, then you might want to find a real man.

 

Mr. Cheapskate

There’s a wonderful magic in a relationship when a man is actively trying to win the heart of a woman. He wants to please her and he wants to impress her. And for centuries, one of the most successful ways to do this is for the man to treat her like a princess by taking her to fine restaurants, taking her to concerts, buying her flowers and finding pleasant ways to spend his hard-earned money on her. The early phase of a relationship can be an expensive proposition for a man, but if he wants to win the heart of a woman, being generous and gracious is a proven path to success.

But here in the era of gender equality and women who earn good incomes, sometimes a man can start to think that he shouldn’t pay for everything. Taken to the extreme, a guy like this starts to look like Mr. Cheapskate. If a man asks a woman out on a date—especially a first, second or third date—he should pay for it. When a woman graciously offers to pay for dessert, don’t become Mr. Cheapskate. Instead, graciously thank her and decline. Mr. Cheapskate doesn’t want to spend his money on a woman, because that leaves him less money to spend on computer games and expensive toys. But what kind of message does that send to the woman he’s with?

Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-AgedBabe Magnet and Babe Magnet Rules ofDating Over 50. Both books are available at Amazon.com.

Advice for Everyone

Sometimes we all need to be reminded about stuff we already know. This goes for folks who are single, happily in relationships, dating over 50, young, old enough to be collecting Social Security—all of us.

This list of helpful life advice started out as an email pass-along that a friend sent to me. I have edited it, added to it, and deleted some items to make it a set of guidelines that will help you stay optimistic—no matter what experiences each day brings you.

1. Life doesn’t always seem fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month. And cut up the ones you aren’t using.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Just stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. Make a conscious effort to attract positive, loving people into your life. Then don’t be surprised when the negative, crabby people drop out of your life.

9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

12. Life is short. Try to enjoy every moment of it.

13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

14 Stop often to take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

15. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

16. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

17. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

18. Go after what you love in life, and don't take “no” for an answer.

19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

20. Over prepare, and then go with the flow.

21. Believe in miracles. You won’t experience them if you don’t believe in them.

22. Remember that the most important sex organ is the brain.

23. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

25. Always choose life.

26. Forgive.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. Time heals almost everything. Let time do its job.

29. Life is change. Go with it.

30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

31. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

32. Plant a garden.

33. If you love someone, tell them “I love you” as often as you can.

34. Your children get only one childhood. Help them enjoy it.

35. Be nice to people, even when they don’t deserve it. But always stand up for yourself.

36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

38. Be thankful.

39. You will be happier today if you are optimistic about tomorrow.

40. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.


Chad Stone, author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet

The Worst Pickup Lines Ever



Do pickup lines really work?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
The key is in the delivery.

 I’ve been having fun looking for the worst pickup lines ever. You know how guys are always looking for the magic words that will open a woman’s heart—or at least get her to talk to him?

Well, there are some bad lines out there. I’m talking about really bad lines.

Groaners. Lines that are downright embarrassing. Lines that no human being should utter.

Ever.

How bad? Well, check out the pickup lines below.

The Best of the Bad Pickup Lines

(In other words, these are really bad.)

Is this your first time on this planet?

I know you’re a complete stranger, but I’d gladly waste one of my Spotify invitations on you. Give me your number and I’ll throw in a Google+ invite. I’d put you in my ‘Babe’ Circle.

As of now, my mother doesn’t have a Facebook account so, if we were to take this thing to the next level, you wouldn’t have to worry about rejecting her inappropriate Family Request.

You must be low density lipoprotein cholesterol because you just stopped my heart.

Does your skin feel burnt? Because I think you must have just fallen down from heaven, and the friction during re-entry must have been really high.
Should I call you for breakfast or just nudge you?

'Are you from Jamaica? Because Jamaican me crazy.

Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.

Can I borrow a quarter? My mom told me to call home when I fell in love.

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.

You're like a compass: without you, I'd be lost.

Are your pants made of Windex? Cause, baby, I can see myself in them.

I hope you know CPR, baby, cause when you walked into the room, my heart stopped beating.

I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.

Am I dead? Because I think I just met an angel.

I'd appreciate it if you started treating me like a sex object.

Are you a Kleptomaniac? Because you just stole my heart.

Bad Pickup Lines That Might Actually Work

Hi. My name is Windows. Can I crash at your place?

How about we slip into something more comfortable... like some Star Trek Voyager pajamas at my apartment!

I wish I was your math homework because then I'd be hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.

Haven't we met in World of Warcraft?

Hi. Is your name Google? Because you have everything that I am searching for.

No matter how many times I travel back in time to this moment I always get nervous about talking to you

I'd bet you dinner that you won't go to dinner with me.

I'm an organ donor. Need anything?


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Thanks to the users of Quora.com for most of these horrible pickup lines! If you’d like to read more about pickup lines—and why they sometimes work and sometime don’t—get a copy of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet by Chad Stone. You can also visit my website at www.middleagedbabemagnet.com.

The Best and Worst Pickup Lines Ever (Part 1)

Single people have a fascination with pickup lines. Men are on a constant search for the best pickup line, and women are always comparing notes with other women to laugh about the worst pickup lines they've ever heard.

So I thought it was time to find out from you--and all of your single friends--if there is such a thing as THE BEST PICKUP LINE EVER. And, while we're at it, let's also find out what's THE WORST PICKUP LINE EVER.

Here in America, we love to vote. We just voted for president. That's important, for sure. But now it's time to focus that election furvor on something even more controversial than voting for president. Now it's time to vote for pickup lines. And I invite the rest of the world to join in. This vote goes beyond the imaginary lines that separate countries. This is so important that we will exclude no one. If you live anywhere on Planet Earth, you are eligible to vote in this election.

(Cue the uplifting music)

Pickup lines are a time-tested tradition in the world of men meeting women. For thousands of years, single men have been walking up to single women that they do not know and saying the magic words that might capture the favorable attention of the women.

For the first time in history, through the power of the Internet, now we can take a worldwide poll on the World Wide Web and find out, once and for all, which is The Best Pickup Line Ever and which is The Worst Pickup Line Ever.

In ROUND ONE, please vote for your favorite line and your least favorite line. Here they are:

1. Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out.

2. Hi. My name is Windows. Can I crash at your place?

3. A girl as beautiful as you shouldn't go out alone. Let me take you home.

4. If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harrass you.

To vote, simply submit a comment stating your Favorite line from the list above and your Least Favorite. Feel free to tell why you voted as you did, and feel free to submit a good or bad pickup line as a candidate for a future round of voting.

PLEASE SEND A LINK TO THIS POST TO YOUR FRIENDS AND TO EVERYONE ON THE PLANET. LET'S GIVE EVERYONE A CHANCE TO VOTE IN THIS VERY IMPORTANT ELECTION! THEN COME BACK NEXT WEEK TO VOTE IN ROUND TWO.

May the pickup lines be with you.

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Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. Please Like the book on Facebook.