Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet acceptance speech

Last week, yours truly-- the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet-- had the privilege of attending the awards ceremony for the 2013 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards. I was at the gala banquet because my dating advice book, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, was a finalist for Best Book in the Self-Help Book category.


I was completely honored to be nominated. More than 1,200 books had been submitted for this year's awards. Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, which is a humorous memoir and a dating advice book, caught the eye of the judges and was declared a finalist.
 

My book was nominated for a major award, and I was excited! Could a Pulitzer Prize be far behind?

Because I have never won a major writing award--and because I was quite convinced that I was going to win, I wrote an acceptance speech. I knew that I wanted to say a few key things to the assembled crowd about Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, because not everyone would be familiar with my dating advice/self-help book. My speech would be a great opportunity to say Thank You!, but it would also be an opportunity to tell others about my book.

So here's the speech I wrote:

"Thank you so much for this honor!

 

"Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet started out as therapy for me. I was newly divorced after a long marriage, and I did not want to be single for the rest of my life. But I was clueless about dating in the 21^st Century. So I started keeping a journal, and I wrote down the good, the bad and the funny things that I experienced as a middle-aged single man.

 

"Whenever I discovered something I thought was either valuable or profound, I wrote this little bit of wisdom down as a Babe Magnet Rule. The first one came to me right after I had written down a list of the attributes I wanted in the Last Love of My Life. I read the list and realized that I had just described a Total Babe—someone who was completely out of my league.

 

"So I wrote down the first Babe Magnet Rule: To be a Babe Magnet, you must believe you are a Babe Magnet.

 

"I ended up with 92 Babe Magnet Rules, and they became the organizing framework for Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. These Babe Magnet Rules helped my book successfully become a hybrid of a humorous memoir and a self-help book.

 

"I would like to thank the judges for getting past the very tongue-in-cheek title of my book, and for finding a way to honor a book that doesn’t fit neatly into a traditional genre. But most of all, I would like to thank my lovely wife, Krista, for giving me the happy ending that my book needed—and for proving that it’s never too late to find your soul mate.

 

"Thank you very much!"

 

I would soon be putting WINNER stickers on the cover of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet book covers instead of FINALIST stickers!

 

 

 

That's a pretty good speech, if I do have to say so myself.

 

There was only one problem with my speech. I never got a chance to deliver it. They announced the nominees in the Best Self-Help book category, but when the emcee announced the winning book, he didn't say Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet. He said the title of some other book.

 

I was stunned. Obviously, a horrible mistake had been made. I was supposed to be strolling up to the podium to make my acceptance speech. BUT MY BOOK HADN'T WON. I felt just like all of the non-winning actors on Oscars night. (Except I didn't have a TV camera on me while I tried to look happy for the winner.)

 

You know how everyone always says it's an honor just to be nominated? Well, it is. But the people who say it's an honor just to be nominated DID NOT WIN. The winners always say how great it is to win. Because winning is a lot more fun.

 

Oh, don't worry about me. I'm over it. It was an honor just to get nominated. But if you'd like to help soften the blow for me, you can give copies of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet to everyone you know this holiday season.

 

During my last radio show interview, I told the host that anyone who has ever been single would enjoy the book. And women like the book as much as men. So there you have it, Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet is the perfect holiday gift.

 

You heard it here first.

 

The Top Dating Over 50 Dealbreakers

If you’ve been dating over 50 for a while, chances are you’ve got a list of your own dating dealbreakers. Even if you’ve never written them down, you know what they are. A woman named Valerie told me her dating over 50 deal breakers are men who lie about themselves on their online profiles, men who are shorter that she is, and men who lie about their height on their online profiles because they are shorter than she is.

 

A single friend of mine named Cliff was once looking to date only supermodels who weighed no more than 125 pounds. He seems to have relaxed his standards after spending so many nights alone. Now he’s looking for women “who have their own teeth.”

 

Dating Over 50

It turns out that there are almost as many dating over 50 dealbreakers as there are daters who are over 50. (And that’s also true for other age groups.) A website called OurTime.com, which is targeted toward singles over the age of 50, has released a survey of its members. They didn’t ask for my opinion—probably because I am not a member of the website, I call myself the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, and I am now happily married. Nevertheless, the results of their survey show the top three deal breakers for the dating over 50 crowd.

 

All single people have dating dealbreakers. But do you know what the top deal breakers are for dating over 50?

The dealbreakers are….. (drumroll please!)….

 

Poor Health

Number One: The person is dead. Just kidding. Dead people didn’t even make the Top 10. But the number one dealbreaker is closely related to death—people who are in poor health. 78% of the dating over 50 respondents said they were not willing to go out with someone who was in poor health.

 

I'm thinking this guy does not get many winks on Match.com.

That’s a pretty good call if you ask me. Good health is so fundamentally important to a good relationship that it almost goes without saying. Who would want to start a relationship with someone who isn’t physically well? Plus, there’s the underlying cause of the poor health. If someone isn’t healthy because he or she doesn’t take good care of themselves, that’s a huge red flag. Babe magnets take good care of themselves. So do babes. Do you really want to start a relationship with someone who cares so little about himself that he puts himself at risk? I think not.

 

Poor Financial Health

The Number Two dating over 50 dealbreaker is financial instability. 76 percent of the www.OurTime.com members cited financial issues as a deal breaker. By the time you have reached middle age, you don’t want to get involved with someone who hasn’t gotten her financial act together. The bohemian poor starving artists that have some appeal at age 25 don’t look so good at age 52, when it’s time to get serious about stashing away money for a long and happy retirement.

 

The sign says it all, huh? I wonder if you can get this put on a t-shirt.

One of the reasons I think that poor physical health and financial instability rank #1 and #2 on this survey is that both of these are long-term issues. If you’re unhealthy and your finances are a mess in your over-50 years, it is unlikely things are going to get significantly better anytime soon.

 

Physical Attraction

Coming in at Number Three on the survey is lack of physical attraction (with 75 percent of the survey respondents listing this). This is an obvious dealbreaker for single people of all ages. We’re all looking for someone who can spark our flame of passion. But of all the Top 3 deal breakers in this survey, the lack of physical attraction is the one that offers the most potential for short-term improvement.

 

Oh, baby! Do you love this guy's style, or what? He thinks he's a middle-aged babe magnet, but his only friend is the Domino's delivery guy.

By the time we hit 50, many of us have gotten complacent with our physical appearances. We might be wearing clothes that were fashionable in a previous decade. (I am talking to you, men.) We might be wearing our hair in the same, familiar style that we fell in love with as young adults. We might be pretending that we have more hair than we actually do. (Key word: comb-over.)

 

Update Your Look

One of my most common bits of advice for anyone who is dating over 50 is “update your look.” Find a friend who has good taste in today’s clothes and go shopping. Get yourself some new clothes that fit you well. Take a long, honest look in the mirror. If you’re stuck in a hairstyle rut, go to a salon for a new look. If you haven’t been regularly exercising—start. Begin by walking or biking. Join a gym and start getting your body in shape. You’ll look better and feel better, too.  

 

Today’s over 50 singles are more active and more vibrant than middle-aged folks were in the past. The ones who succeed in dating over 50 are those men and women who keep themselves healthy, take care of their finances, and deliberately don’t get stuck in a rut.

 

There’s one more thing: the best way you can make yourself happier and more physically attractive is to smile more. Try it—starting right now.

 

Chad Stone is the author of The Babe Magnet Rules of Dating Over 50.

 

How to Have a Great First Date (Part 2)

Our discussion on the topic, How to Have a Great First Date continues...

 

You’re all ready for a great first date with someone you barely know. Your body is clean, your clothes are clean, and you’re dressed for dating success. You are ready to meet the love of your life. (Hey, it could happen. I know this from personal experience-- because it happened to me.)

Gentlemen, if you are following the rules I set out in my book, Babe Magnet Rules of Dating Over 50, you selected a suitable location for this great first date.



This is NOT a good choice for a first date. Never, ever.

 

If this is a “meet and greet” date, then you’re probably meeting at a Starbucks of a similar local coffee spot. There is nothing wrong with a coffee date. It’s a casual, low-pressure way to get to know someone. If her or she sparks your interest, great! If not, it’s no harm no foul, and you can move on.



A first date that doesn't work out is like incidental contact in a basketball game. "No harm, no foul."

(Photo by the Birmingham News)

 

If you want to make a bigger first impression, then you have invited her to dine with you at a nice, but not too fancy, restaurant. In an age of “meet and greet” first dates, a real dinner date is a great way to get a woman’s attention.

Now, follow Babe Magnet Rule #30: Be the first to arrive for a date—especially a first date. Give yourself a few minutes to claim the place as your own. This will give you extra confidence and help put you in command of the date. And Babes love a confident man.

When you meet your date, use your best old-school manners. Guys, look your date in the eyes and tell her how glad you are to meet her. Girls, look him in the eyes and smile. He will melt.



It doesn't take much for a woman to melt a man. A nice smile will do it every time.

 

So, now what? What should you talk about? And what topics should you avoid? Well, the number one topic you should NOT talk about on a first date is ex-spouses and ex-lovers. The trouble with talking about ex-lovers is that it’s an emotionally charged topic. Love Gone Bad is not a fun topic, and relationship breakups are not happy events. Do you really want to travel into the Black Hole of a Dead Relationship with someone you barely know? I think not.

Here’s the best thing that could happen when you talk about your ex. You say something like, “My ex-wife is a wonderful person, but over the years we grew less and less compatible.” That sounds reasonable, right? You’re over your ex and you’re not bitter. On some days, you’re so enlightened that your friends call you Gandhi. But you still run the risk of your date only hearing the “my ex-wife is a wonderful person” part and now she’s wondering if you’re really over her yet.

 

Try not to talk about ex-lovers, religion or politics on a first date.

 

So, what do you talk about? Fun stuff. Positive stuff. Amusing things that have happened to you lately. Before your date, think about some fun stuff you can talk about. One way to avoid the dreaded AWKWARD SILENCE OF A FIRST DATE is to always have a few little stories to tell.

I suggest that everyone have three “talk show stories” that they can tell during a date or any social setting. These are the kinds of stories that are fun, easy to listen to, and don’t challenge anyone’s beliefs or opinions.

Back when I was single and was a self-proclaimed Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, I used to tell a funny story about my youngest son. (Almost anyone can appreciate a funny kid story.) I also told the story about how my cat adopted me after my dog died. (Women love heartwarming stories about pets.)



Awwwwwww!

 

Another topic that always seemed to work was a lighthearted review of some of my worst first dates. Women also like to share their bad date experiences. Bingo, you’ve got a pleasant conversation going. Just make sure that your bad date stories don’t reveal anything troubling about you—like showing up late for dates, getting drunk on dates, or forgetting to wear pants.

Once again, we’re out of time here at the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet Blog. Next time we finish the topic of How to Have a Great First Date with the best tip ever about how to ensure that you’ll get a second date.

Chad Stone is the author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet and Babe Magnet Rules of Dating Over 50. Both books are available at Amazon.com.

 

 

 

Five dating success tips

Today I want to talk about dating success tips. If there’s one thing that prevents dating success it is the random and casual way that many singles approach dating—and love in general. Let me tell you, a hit-and-miss, unfocussed attitude toward finding the love of your life is NOT a good way to achieve dating success.

What do you do when you start looking for a job? You get organized. You take stock of your strengths. Your resume gets polished up. You think about what kind of job you want. Then, if you’re smart, you will start networking among your friends and business associates. You ask them if they know of any job openings. You search Craigslist for job postings and you check out other websites. You get ready for job interviews. When you get the call for an interview, you venture out to impress potential employers with your job skills and your people skills.

All of these things help ensure your job-seeking success. Why not use the same methodical approach to ensure your dating success? Your search for the love of your life is worth a little preparation and effort, isn’t it?

There is no reason to leave your search for a Significant Other to fate. Be a dating success story by making the search for your new love a top priority in your life. Use the following five dating success tips to make sure you find love.

1. Turn on your dating mind

Get into the dating mindset. Don’t just go through the motions. Be absolutely sure that you really want to date. Now is the time to affirm, “I am ready to find the love of my life!” Decide that you are now going to actively participate in the world of dating, and you are going to enjoy the process. (Please do not be one of those singles who just goes through the motions. Dating is not about killing time; it’s about finding love and companionship.)

2. State your intentions

Not everyone is looking for someone to marry and live with for the rest of their lives. Some singles are not yet ready for a serious commitment. That’s OK. Just get clear about what you want. Greg Behrendt, author of the bestselling book He’s Just Not That Into You, says that in order to find the right lover for you, you have to believe that he or she is actually out there. And that you’ll find them!

This is very similar to making New Year’s resolutions or setting any other kind of goal. Stating your dating intention is the same thing. Be clear that you are ready to find the love of your life. This is also important: know what you want in a romantic partner so you will recognize them when they appear in your life.

3. Turn on your dating success magic

Get your act together if you want to attract love. Turning on your dating success magic is almost like putting on a favorite jacket. When you put on your favorite jacket, you feel better about yourself. You are more confident and more comfortable. This will help you attract the highest quality woman (or man) into your life. Getting your mind into a positive state is an important part of dating success. It also helps to get your body into shape, too. Go to the gym more often. Eat healthier food and get plenty of rest. Getting your healthy glow back will help make you look and feel your best.

4. Watch for opportunities

How many places are there where you could meet someone new? Well, how many places do you go to? The grocery store. Your workplace. The local deli. A coffee shop. Yoga class. Walking down the street. The list is absolutely endless. Get yourself out into the real world and watch for opportunities to meet the love of your life. Strike up friendly conversations. Ask someone out for coffee. When someone asks you out, for heaven’s sake say Yes! Not every date is going to turn out great, but sometimes a so-so date will lead to a party where you’ll meet someone who lights your fire.

5. Welcome the adventure

Dating can be a wonderful adventure. Enjoy the ride! After talking to hundreds of single people—and experiencing dating again after my own divorce, I am convinced that dating success isn’t just about the end result. The happiest single people who are looking for romance are the ones who enjoy the dating process. It’s fun to meet new people. It’s fun to get out of your apartment. If you enjoy the journey, you are more likely to have dating success. If you are having fun along the way, you are actually MORE LIKELY to meet the love of your life.


For more great information about dating and relationships, looking for love and how to find the humor in dating, visit my website at www.middleagedbabemagnet.com.

Best Senior Dating Sites

I just found out about a great website for folks who aren't afraid to proudly claim that they are old enough to be "seniors." I'm not sure what the age requirement is for seniorhood-- AARP says 50, my local movie theater says 62, and most people think of 65 as retirement age.You decide.

Anyway, the site is bestseniordatingsites.org. Visit the homepage and you'll see a roundup of the 25 best dating sites for seniors. Delve a little deeper by clicking on one of the Latest Posts links (on the left side of the Home page) and you can read some great stories.

I liked Top 100 Senior Dating, Relationship and Lifestyle Blogs. The Top 100 list includes blogs that cover Dating and Relationship Advice, Travel, Fitness, Lifestyle, and Fashion. Evidently, Joe Atkins, webmaster and editor of bestseniordatingsites.org couldn't just stop at 100 blogs to list. He's added another section-- and the current Top 100 list (as of this writing) now includes 108 top senior dating and relationship blogs.

Now, those of you who are regular readers of this blog and my book site, middleagedbabemagnet.com, know that I cover all kinds of dating and relationship topics--including dating after divorce, dating over 50,  and dating advice for people of all ages. This blog isn't just for people who are "seniors." But one of the things I discovered in my dating after divorce and dating over 50 life is that so much of good dating advice transcends a person's age.

Take Babe Magnet Rule #87: Be a gentleman.There are so few gentlemen left in the world these days, and being one is a great way to set yourself apart from all of the jerks that women have been dating. That's good advice no matter how old you are-- whether you're in your 20s or you are dating over 50.(By the way, that Babe Magnet Rule is from Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet.)

So, I hope this blog gets mentioned on the best senior dating sites website. After all, I AM a member of AARP already--although I'm not yet old enough to get the senior discount at the movie theater.

Chad Stone, the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, has left the building.

10 Things a Guy Will Never Ask About a Power Tool

Sometimes women need a glimpse into the mind of a typical man. Otherwise, the typical woman has no clue what's bouncing around inside a man's head.

So, in the interest of enhancing communications between the sexes--and because I thought this list was both true and funny, I present this list of 10 Things a Guy Will Never Ask About a Power Tool:

1. How does it work?

2. Why do I need it?

3. Is protective eyewear needed?

4. Are there instructions?

5. Can I use it to open a bottle? (Guys will assume it will.)

6. Can I save money by renting it?

7. Is it dangerous?

8. Is there a smaller, less powerful option?

‎9. Is it available in seafoam green?

10. Does it make my butt look big?

:-)
That's all for today. Chad Stone, author of Confessions of a Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, signing off.

Two Secrets About Men

Talk to any woman, and she will tell you that men don’t understand women. But what women don’t know is that they don’t have a clue about men, either.

According to dating expert Kara Oh, most women don’t have a clue about two vitally important secrets about how to date and win the heart of a man.

Secret #1: A Woman Must Use Her Feminine Grace. That means a woman must keep her emotional reactions to herself, or share then with a trusted girlfriend. She SHOULD NOT reveal all of her emotions to the man she wants to romance (lest she scare him away).

Here are some more tips on using Feminine Grace:

* Be gracious

* Communicate with your heart

* Expect him to treat you with respect and consideration

* When you behave in this way, you will be on your way to making him
feel good to be around you.


Secret #2: Make Him Feel Like a Man. Too few women how important this secret really is. Sure, they may do this in the beginning of a relationship because they are excited about a new man. But, unfortunately, once they become comfortable in their relationship, they tend to start making him feel like LESS of a man.

How big a mistake is this? It’s a deal breaker for most men. Admittedly, most men do not realize right away what is going on when the woman starts to pick away at his manhood by criticizing him and trying to mold him into something new. But soon he realizes that the woman he is with is starting to make him feel bad—not wonderful. A man wants to please the woman of his dreams. But she can’t be pleased. What man wants to be around a woman who makes him feel like he's a failure?

Here are Kara Oh’s suggestions for making a man feel like a man:


* Let him know good a man you think he is

* Let him know how considerate he is

* Let him know how smart you think he is

* Let him know strong and capable he is


Why? Because he wants to be your hero and this will tell him he is. By the way, if he isn't someone you can appreciate, then he's not the man for you.

When a man feels good whenever he's around you, then he will be drawn to you like bees to their favorite flower. Does this mean she waits on him like a servant? No. It's more a matter of appreciating him as a man.

So, what do you think of this advice? Is it old-fashioned and crazy? Or is it classic brilliance that is just as true today as it was hundreds of years ago?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

-Chad Stone (affectionately known as the Middle-Aged Babe Magnet)

What Do Men Want?

As men’s and women’s roles continue to change in our ever-changing world, some things never change. Men are still, on the whole, quite clueless about women. And women, even though they are less clueless, still don’t understand men.

Now that I’ve gotten your attention with the unvarnished, politically incorrect truth, let’s talk about what men want in women.

The following list appeared on www.topdatingtips.com, but I have edited it and made additional comments. OK, here we go!

• Men are looking for a love-interest. Surprised? Ask men what they really want, and they say love, not sex. Men like to love and they like being loved and appreciated in return.

• Men want a woman who is attractive to them. Yes, that seems like (to most women) that men are shallow if looks matter so much. But men aren't necessarily looking for a runway model. The typical man wants a woman who takes pride in her appearance. And men are proud of having a girlfriend who looks good.

• Men are seeking women who are feminine, gentle and kind because those qualities also make a woman a great mother. Not that a typical man needs mothering. But even if they aren’t ready for marriage right now, men seek the attributes in women that point to someone who would make a great mother to future offspring.

• Men appreciate women with a sense of humor. Women often come across as uptight or too bothered by too many small details. Life can be a pain in the… neck, and a healthy sense of humor about life (and yourself) is a great way to make it all more enjoyable. No guy wants to be stuck with an uptight, humorless woman.

• Men are looking for women who retain their femininity. If you’re a woman, don’t try to be “one of the boys.” Men have guy friends for that. Be a woman. Viva la difference!

• Men want someone who is supportive. Many women are quick to criticize men. This is a crucial mistake. The best relationships are mutually supportive, not overly critical.

• Men love a challenging woman, someone who keeps them on their toes. Men are not attracted to passive doormats. A woman who keeps him challenged is invigorating and exciting. (There’s a difference between “challenged” and “threatened” however, so don’t take it too far.) If you want to keep your man interested, keep him challenged with your spunkiness and your ability to keep your man from falling into a rut.

• Men want sex. No big news there, right? But here’s a major difference between men and women: men have sex to bond and fall in love, while women have sex after they have bonded and want to express their love.

• Men are looking for a trustworthy woman. She must be a person they can have faith in and someone who will be there for them.

• Men want to make a home eventually and are looking for a woman who will be a willing partner in home life. A basic level of domestic skills is attractive to most men. (Most men can use a little help in this department.)

• Men want a woman who will commit to them. Men want a girlfriend with whom they can share and trust. This isn’t a one-sided wish, though. Commitment is a two-way street.

• Most men want to get married. Eventually. They want to feel like successful, independent adults first, but ultimately most men DO want to get married. But they have to feel like it’s on their timeline. They don’t like to feel pressured into “tying the knot.” (By the way, I’m pretty sure that the expression “tying the knot” was invented by a man who was feeling pressured into getting married.)

To summarize, a typical man wants a fun-to-be-with, trustworthy, reliable, sexy, single woman with whom he can have a long term relationship.

Now, when it comes right down to it, that’s not much different from the “wish list” of the typical modern woman, is it?

For more ongoing comments about dating and relationships, read my posts on www.datingwithoutdrama.com. Click on Advice from Men and search for the Chad Stone stories.

That's it for now. The Middle-Aged Babe Magnet has left the building.

How NOT to Talk to a Woman

Sometimes it seems that men and women are speaking different languages. And, in a way, they are. According to John Gray in his most recent book, Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice, men are naturally motivated to communicate in ways that will lower stress in men. But men have no clue that this same style of communication may increase a woman’s stress level.

When a woman communicates, she is looking for a warm, supportive response. When she “shares” her concerns about a person or situation, she wants to be heard. Unfortunately, what a man hears is a problem—and his natural situation is to look for a solution or a way to dismiss the problem. That’s the way men are hardwired.

So he thinks he is being helpful when he expresses an opinion or offers a solution. She feels he’s either being cold and heartless or he simply isn’t hearing what she is saying.


Here are examples from John Gray of what NOT to say to a woman because it sounds dismissive:

 Don’t worry about it.
 Here’s what you should do…
 Just let it go.
 It’s not that important.
 That’s not what he means.
 Don’t get so upset.
 Don’t let them get to you like that.
 It’s simple, just say…
 All you have to do is…
 It’s not such a big deal.
 You shouldn’t feel that way.

Men mean for these short comments to be supportive. But women are likely to feel like they are insulting and perhaps condescending.

Instead of jumping in with a “fix-it” comment, try listening. Make reassuring and sympathetic comments. Use supporting comments such as “Tell me more” and “how did that make you feel?” Unless there’s an emergency and there’s water leaking all over the bathroom (or something equally as urgent), she doesn’t want you to fix her problem right now. She just wants to be heard.

To find out How NOT to Talk to a Man, read my most recent blog posting on www.datingwithoutdrama.com.

Ahhhh, a new romance!

My friend, Craig, is a true middle-aged babe magnet, and he loves every minute of it. He loves to be admired by women. He has also been suffering from a broken heart, so he has deliberately been an elusive dating target. He hasn't wanted to become involved with a woman, so he's been casually dating for quite a while. To his credit, he has been basically celibate during this time, because he is self-aware enough to know that he hasn't been emotionally available.

But all of that has changed. Now he is smitten for the first time in three years.

He freely admits to being smitten. And, ironically, he's not entirely happy about it. He doesn't like being the one who cares whether she calls him back. He doesn't like being the one who is getting butterflies and spikes in his pulse rate. He doesn't like being the one who is distracted by amorous thoughts. He has a business to run, dammit!

I am thoroughly enjoying Craig's predicament. It's fun to watch him get flustered, It's fun to give him dating advice when he acts like a lovestruck dweeb. (More on this in a future post.) We've all been captured by the promise of new love. We've all been there and done that.

Basically, my advice to Craig is: enjoy it! Enjoy that delicious feeling of not being in total control. Get out of your "male brain" and go with the flow. Love is a ride down a rushing river. At this stage, just enjoy the ride!

Save as Draft book review

I recently received a review copy of Save as Draft, a delightful new novel by Cavanaugh Lee that traces the thoroughly modern dating and relationship life of Izabell, a wactress (waitress/actress) turned lawyer. The “hook” of this book is that it is comprised entirely of the texts, emails and tweets that Izabell and her friends send and receive.

The story begins with the eHarmony messages that Izabell receives about Martin (her “Match #6”) and Martin receives about Izabell (his “Match #137”). Alas, their promising romance will not immediately blossom, primarily because of Izabell’s growing fascination with her co-worker, Peter.

The telling of this story through emails and texts is both brilliant and frustrating. We all know that emails (and especially texts) have their pitfalls. Sure, they are instantaneous, but they lack the voice inflections of telephone calls and the context-rich nonverbal cues of face-to-face conversations. Because of this, Save as Draft is chatty and superficial. The characters hope, dream and fall in and out of love, but we (the readers) only get glimpses of their internal agonies and ecstasies.

The brilliance of the novel is in the emails that the characters write to each other but do not send. (These are “saved as draft,” which is where the title of the book is derived.) These unsent emails are the heartfelt communications that the characters SHOULD be sending. When Peter is falling for Izabell, he writes several “I love you” emails that he never sends. I wanted to slap him upside the head. Send the damn emails, you weenie! You’re not going to get the girl if she doesn’t know how you feel about her!

Save as Draft is a witty, well-written novel that provides valuable insight to the joys and pitfalls of dating in the internet age. It also serves as a warning for those of us who might rely too heavily on electronic forms of communication. In the humble opinion of this Middle-Aged Babe Magnet, texts and emails are best used as bridges between actual conversations. It’s too easy to misinterpret the sterile words on a computer screen or smart phone. That’s why emoticons and text shorthand (lol, omg) were developed to add meaning and emotion to cold, typed words.

I happen to be a big fan of technology. I am, after all, posting this on a blog—and I met my fiancée on match.com. I have first-hand knowledge of the value of using technology in dating and communicating. But when I have something important to say to my beloved, I want to gaze right into her beautiful eyes.

Dating Success Story!

Good news, fellow daters. I am now a dating success story. My wonderful girlfriend (who I met on match.com) has agreed to marry me! So you can now call me a dating success story.

Consequently, I am now going to change the focus of this blog. I am going to share some insights on the dating process. I am going to share what worked for me--and what has worked for others. I am going to explore the adventure of middle-aged dating from the perspective of how to succeed.

My goal in dating (online or otherwise) was always to find the love of my life. I assume that your goal is also to find the love of your life. So feel free to ask questions. Feel free to make comments. I will try to pass along my dating wisdom, my relationship advice, and whatever words of encouragement that I can provide. Not that I know everything. But I have learned a few things about male-female relationships, and I'm a very good listener.

Remember always that life is an adventure. There is humor to be found throughout our adventures. Just keep your eyes open, your heart open, and look for the best in people. If you look for love, you will find it.